I married a stranger

The sound of an alarm on my phone woke me up in the morning. I slowly opened my eyes when I realized that the sound is impossible to ignore. "Oh, turn it off. Turn it off..." I heard behind my back. I turned around only to see a strange man sleeping in my bed next to me, and I jumped out of my bed. Then he woke up too and looked around like he was trying to figure out where he was. "Where am I?" He asked while rubbing his eyes. "You're... Obviously, in my apartment..." Now when I took a better look at him he looked so gorgeous. I guess I wasn't that crazy to spend a night with him after all... "But what city? Am I still in America at all..." "Yeah, you're in New York... Wait the minute! Why are you the one asking questions? I should ask questions; you're in my bed!" "Yeah, I'm sorry... I'm Lucas." "Okay then..." I couldn't stop starring at his muscles. "Well, nice to meet you too..." He said. "What? Oh, no. I mean, yes. Nice to meet you..." God, I totally embarrassed myself, he noticed I was staring. "If I didn't look directly in your eyes while I'm talking to you, you would probably kick me out of your apartment." "Yes, probably! You know what? Get out right now! I already forgot your name, it was nice to meet you... Actually, it wasn't nice to meet you at all." "What? You can't kick me out now!" "Give me one good reason why I can't." He showed me the ring on his finger. "I spent a fortune on these rings." "What?" I looked at my hand and there it was. A ring. Just when I thought I couldn't be any more stupid than I already was. "That's right." He said. "We got married. You can't kick out your husband." "You're not my stupid husband!" I grabbed my pillow. "Oh, no need to get upset. I'm sure you'll be a great wife. Look at you, you're beautiful." I can't say I wasn't flattered when he said that, but I decided to kick him out anyway. "We're not married, I was drunk! I don't remember anything!" "Yeah, but I remember everything. You should've seen your face. Man, you were so happy..." I punched him with my pillow. "Ouch, that hurts, you know..." "I don't care." "Shame on you, you don't care about your husband." "You're not my husband!" "This ring on my hand doesn't think that's true." "I swear, if you don't leave, I'll call the police!" I grabbed the phone from my bed table. "No, no, no... Don't do that!" He jumped out of the bed wearing only his underwear. "Why wouldn't I? Look at you! I can also tell them you just barged into my apartment looking like that. They'd believe me." "Yeah, yeah, I know, but please don't do it." He was acting like he thought I was really gonna call the police. I'm not crazy; he looks like he fell out of the sky. But it felt good that he was so scared of what I was gonna do. "Okay, relax. I won't call the police." "Oh, thank you." "But now you must tell me everything about yourself. Only the truth!" "Alright, I'll tell you everything." "I'm listening." I crossed my arms. "But shouldn't we like... Get dressed first or something..." Why did he have to ask that question? Now I won't be able to rest my eyes on his abs. "Um, yeah, sure..." I said. "Could you, like... Go outside till I get dressed?" "But I've already seen you... Kinda naked." "No, it's okay..." "No, it's not okay. If you want privacy, go home." "I can't! Okay? I just can't go home!" Wow. He raised his voice at me for the first time. I don't think this is going to be such a happy marriage. "Don't yell at me! You're in my apartment!" "I'm... I'm sorry. I know. I better go..." "But... Wait! Where are you going now? You said you can't go home." "Yeah, I can't..." "Why?" "Because I'm homeless, that's why!" "You're... Homeless?" "Yes..." "But... How did you get these rings, then?" "I've stolen those rings! I have absolutely nothing!" "Wait... Why do you always have to yell?" "I don't know. I guess... I feel vulnerable when I'm talking about my life. I'm sorry, again." "So I married a homeless guy, and a thief..." "You're just not lucky, I guess..." "Yeah... I guess..." "So... Can I stay?" "Um... Well, you are definitely a stranger to me... But who cares? Yes, you can stay!" "Thank you! Thank you so much!" He hugged me. "Just promise you won't kill me during the night." "Okay." He raised his hand. "I promise I won't kill you during the night." "What about the day?" "Hey, you said during the night..." He smiled.