A Shadow of herself

Life was great in the younger day’s nothing and nobody to worry about. Dad was around and my mam was doing her thing. Food was on table, bills were payed, all I had to do was go to school and behave. But one day all that changed.. Dad decided he was leaving the family home, no explanation just he was moving out. My mam must of known as she didn’t really say anything, I knew she was hurting but she tried to keep a brave face on for my sake. “It’s okay Rain we don’t need him” She said to me and popped off to make a brew. That’s when I knew something seriously wasn’t right.. how could she be so calm? They had been together over 15 year it didn’t add up. “Mam he’s leaving, are you not going to say something?” I asked She just looked at me and shrugged “Let him do what he wants, he already has been” she said “What is that meant to mean.. what are you not telling me” i said with tiers forming in my eyes. She turned and looked at me, her face fell into a soft frown “Look Rain I don’t want to hurt you, your my daughter but you have the right to know” “Right to know what” I said “That bastard that called himself your father has been seeing another woman” My mouth fell open and anger rage in my body.. my dad my hero had been lying to us. I didn’t no how to react. “You okay tho mam?” I asked “I’m fine Rain, don’t worry” She looked at me and said “ there is 20 quid on fireplace for you, I’m going to work soon” with that I looked smiled, as I started to walk away she shouted “And Rain please behave.. I will ring you later” I just nodded and carried on walking. That night I was out and about with some friends.. we decided to get some beer but of course we were under age.. Natty who was my best friend went to ask her mam to buy us it.. her mam was really down to earth.. loved by all our friends. “Mam can you get me and Rain some beer from shop please” “You having a laugh child” “Ohh please mam” she continued “Rains mam said its alright if I can” “Okay then.. as long as she did” Me and Natty looked at each other as if to say we can’t believe that just worked. We laughed and our night had just begun. The next morning was school.. but I didn’t bother going.. with no dad to answer to and my mam was always working I just stayed home or went to Natty’s as she didn’t attend school.. every night we would have a drink.. nothing over the top but we was 14 thinking we was bad arse. A few month had past and I’d stopped going to school full stop.. I’d clean the house, do the washing even make dinner for me and my mam.. I was going on 15 still a child well teen.. my mam had started staying out more than she was home.. in fact she only came home when her money book needed to be stamped, most of the time she didn’t even call. So one day I phoned her “Mam.. where are you?? We have run out of gas and the house is cold..” “That isn’t my problem” she said “What do you mean?? Isn’t your problem” I was getting really mad.. but what did she expect. “Look I’m out.. ask your f**king father” And she hung up. I was fuming.. I sent her a message telling her to go f**k herself.. I instantly regretted it.. but nothing I could do once it was sent and I wasn’t about to apologise.. no way.. I got my phone out and ring my gran.. “Gran it’s Rain” “ hello love.. are you okay??” “Not really gran.. we have no gas at home and my mam told me to ask my dad as she won’t pay for it as she is out” “Okay love” she said.. then continued “Come to my house and leave your mother to me” “Thank you.. I won’t be long gran” and I hung up. I got to my grans and she was on the phone to my mam.. When she spotted me she said her good byes and hung up.. She looked at me with sadness in her eyes.. I hated seeing my gran so upset.. she started to explain to me what was said over the phone.. her face was set which wasn’t good.. “Is it really that bad” “Yes love it is” she replied as she continued I couldn’t believe my ears. “Your mam has moved in with her fancy man” she said “Great.. not only has my dad f**ked off but now my mam” I carried on as she sat there patiently listening to me.. “I’m 15 year old.. in a house on my own when she should be there to look after me.. not leaving me to fend for myself.. what am I going to do” “We will sort it..” “Sort it how gran??” “I’m not sure yet love.. but I will do my best..” She took a deep breath then said “Put Kekkle on love.. I’m parched.. thanks love” I looked and laughed and made her a coffee. Later that night I was at home thinking about what had been said and how I was going to look after myself.. what s**t parents I have.. I needed a plan but right now I needed my bed. A few months later my mother returned home.. and was trying to make amends.. I had started babysitting for my mams mate Lilly her kids were little terrors but I loved em.. Lilly was like a second mam to me I spent most of my time there.. Natty was always with her new boyfriend and ovs 3’s a crowd and all that but we still spoke most days. I’m nearly 17.. got myself a nice little job I’m doing okay.. Lilly works with me and on weekends we go out for a few hour drinking, dancing, laughing just loving life.. my mam lives with her fella and I live with my gran.. No stress no-one to answer to well only my gran but as long as I stick to her rules she’s Cush.. I get a call and it’s Lilly she is in a bad way I can hardly understand her through the tiers.. “Calm down Lilly.. I’m on my way” I put the phone down and make my way to hers.. I get there and bring her straight into a hug and her tiers are flowing.. “What’s wrong Lil” “Iv got behind on my rent and their kicking us out” “No way.. where are you going to go” “In a hostile” “I will help in anyway I can.. try not to worry.. everything will be okay” “ the housing said I can bid for a house” “That’s some good news love” i said She wasn’t sure but we looked up the site and she started to bid.. A good couple of months past and Lilly was in her new home and I was staying with her to help with kids and decorating.. we was in the back bedroom when I looked out the window and saw a lad.. he had his back to.. “Lilly.. who is that lad” “Aww he lives next door with his mam” “Do you speak to her??” “I have but not much why Rain” “Aww no reason” “Yh Yh Rain.. I see you checking him out” “Behave woman” We both started laughing and carried on with what we was doing.. Never in my wildest dreams would I predict what was to come..