Poor Queen

I

I woke up as the sunlight hit my face, I squinted my eyes and in reflex, I quickly stood up looking around.

Tiffany's not here anymore, I was alone in my bed.

I got up from it and looked for her, I toured my house but she wasn't here.

Where would she go?

Don't tell me she just left and escaped this place!? I became anxious, it really bothers me. It can't be!

I went to the bathroom then immediately washed my face, brushed my teeth and fixed my hair.

I don't have money but I have necessary things that I need here in my house like water to drink, for hygiene stuffs, few clothes and foods.

All of these was from stealing, I admit. But I don't steal now, my people do.

I'm not proud of it but it's the only way we know to keep us from starving.

As I rule this place, I teach them how to steal and fight but last night, when Tiffany gave me advice. I feel bad, so bad to myself.

She's right and I'm considering it to change but this place is holding me back.

My people here, they need me, the children and grannies the most. I need to feed and help them because no one would care for them, strangers... beggars. They're helpless.

I went straight to the storehouse and outside of it, I saw Tiffany and Yoona playing with the children.

The children were running while the two were chasing them. They looked so happy together and it's the first time that I saw Tiffany laughing like this. It's real, I could see it through her eyes. She's really beautiful.

I started to contemplate things in my life, what if I leave this place and ask Tiffany to give me a job?

My life will change with the help of her.

But what about these people, if I leave them who will gonna help them? I don't want Nick to rule this place. Never! Over my dead body! He's evil, he's much crazier than me. I cringed just thinking about that.

I was back to reality when Yoona called me and she's waving at me.

"Taeyeonie! Good morning!" Yoona shouted and I smiled at her.

Tiffany looked at me and smiled a bit.

I sprinted to them "Good morning, what's up kiddos?" I asked.

Children ran to me and hugged me. Oh yeah, they love me much and likewise.

I chuckled and petted each of their hairs.

"Good morning boss!" They all greeted in unison.

"'We're playing with Tiffany, she's really kind and soooo pretty," one of them said.

"She's like you," the other one commented.

"Is she going to stay here?" Erika asked. She's really cute. My favorite. You can't blame she's too adorable.

She's only five years old, she's mini me.

I glanced at Tiffany and she smiled sadly. I took Erika as I wrapped my arms around her hips and she wrapped her arms around my neck. Our faces were just inches apart as we looked at each other while other children just kept playing around.

"Tiffany will stay here just for few days," I answered. I was kinda sad but I plastered it with a smile.

Erika pouted "But I want her stay here with us," she whined.

"But we can't let her stay, she has her own home," I tried to explain.

Erika was about to cry but Tiffany took her from me and shushed the little one.

"Don't cry baby," Tiffany glared at me so I quickly averted my eyes from her. She's scary, geez.

"You know, I can visit y'all like everyday," Tiffany said.

Erika's face lit up "Really?"

Tiffany nodded "I promise," she compromised.

Erika briefly hugged her then looked at me "Did you hear that boss Tae? She promise to visit us!"

I nodded.

"What's your name baby?" Tiffany asked.

"I'm Erika Kim! I'm her daughter!" Erika pointed her index finger to me.

Tiffany frowned and looked at me. She was confused but I just shrugged.

Yoona tittered "Not fit to be a mother," she said to me as she put her arm around my shoulders.

I rolled my eyes.

"I remember, just few months ago..." she lifted her hand making three little fingers up or an OK sign "my dad left me while walking on the street. I was so scared that day, I was crying but no one seemed to care. But boss Tae found me and she took me here and take care of me, us, all the people here," Erika stated.

"Also Yoona and dean! They always feed and bath us, I'm happy here with them," she added.

In her young age, she can already appreciate people around her. What a bright child she is. I hate her so called father, no, he don't deserve to be called a father! He just left Erika like that! She's so young.

No matter how hard life is, I will never abandon my child.

"That's good," Tiffany shortly replied.

"You promise to always visit us, I will mark your words," Erika said trying to be serious but the result just made her more cute.

"So cute," Tiffany pinched her cheek.

Erika pouted "Not cute."

I chuckled they're like mother and daughter.

"The breakfast is ready!" Yoona announced as she pulled her arm from me.

All kids ran inside the storehouse.

Tiffany put Erika down and the kid excitedly ran as she followed her peers.

Before Yoona walked inside the storehouse, she beckoned us to come along.

"Let's eat," I offered Tiffany.

"They really love you," she said ignoring my offer then she looked me in the eyes "They see something in you," she almost whispered.

I blushed and looked away.

"I love them too, that's why I'm taking care of them, let's go inside and eat," I held her hand and dragged her not harsh.

She didn't argue and just followed me.

My mind was on our hands. My heart was beating like a drum and I like it. She has soft and smooth hand unlike mine, rough.

She's also warm, duh. Of course she is! She's alive, don't act stupid Taeyeon. I scolded myself.

I feel like being myself again, I mean, when I'm with Tiffany, I can show her my soft side.

No, she sees the real me through my facade, I know she can do that.

I'm empty but she's filling it and giving me life again.

Omo, I must be crazy thinking all of this.

After we ate breakfast, Tiffany asked me to tour her around and meet new people here. I gladly accepted it, she's treating me good now and I swear, I like it so much.

Geez, stop giggling Taeyeon! You looked like a fool.

"What's the matter?" Tiffany asked while we're walking.

Shit. I lowered my head to hide my red face!

"N-nothing," I muttered.

"You look hot, I mean, red. Are you sick?" Tiffany stopped walking and held both of my cheeks.

My eyes widened like saucers and I pulled away "Y-yeah, me... okay.. fine, me! Yes... just okay,"I babbled.

Seriously Taeyeon? Don't embarrass yourself in front of her! I mentally slapped my face.

Tiffany giggled "I didn't notice it before, you look cute," she said.

I pouted "I'm not cute!" I retorted.

Tiffany nodded "Not always, but... you're beautiful," she complimented.

I gaped at her, dumb fish be like!

Did she just say I'm beautiful?

Tiffany held my chin and put it up to close my mouth "I appreciate your beauty, must be thankful because the queen notice it," she smirked then continued to walk.

She's sorta conceited with that.

Tiffany stopped walking again so I sauntered to her.

I glanced at her, Tiffany twinkled her eyes then she frowned.

My forehead creased, I looked at where she's staring. I saw Dean was teaching teenagers how to fight and steal wallet.

There were two groups, one at stealing wallet from Dean's back pocket and the other one was fighting each other like ufc. Yeah, they're fighting brutally, they really hurt each other. Real cuts and bruises.

I feel ashamed but this is our routine. Tiffany just came yesterday and she keeps bothering my mind.

We used to be like this.

This is where we're good at.

I know it's wrong but it's hard to change it.

"What's the meaning of this?" Tiffany asked.

I can't answer her and I was avoiding her gaze.

Tiffany held my hand and dragged me until we're in front of my house.

Not again, she will initiate argument. I could sense that.

"What's that Taeyeon?" Tiffany asked like demanding reasonable reason.

"We're teaching them to fight and steal," I replied flatly. Still, I'm not looking to her.

"You know it's bad! They're so young for damn's sake Taeyeon! Why? Why you're allowing it to happen?" Tiffany ran her fingers through her hair. Obviously, frustrated with what she saw.

"Because it's the only way to keep us living! I just said it! Damn it!" I yelled at her.

Tiffany was shocked. It's not my intention to raise my voice so I looked apollogetically to her.

"It's not easy to change Pani, I was like running and feeding a whole village but as you see, I'm just like them. Jobless and penniless," I'm holding back my tears.

"I want to change but I'm worried to them, people here are helpless. If I don't help them, who will gonna help them? They're strangers, no one will care," I elaborated.

"Then don't take responsibilities if you can't handle it! You're making their lives even worst! Influencing them bad things, you're making them lose in their tracks," Tiffany retorted.

I feel, I was stabbed hard and deep.

I'm really a bad person and she's slapping right it on my face.

"They're innocent, the government will help them anyway. There are charities for oldies and orphanage or foster care for children. Their lives will be better there... And I don't want to see Erika stealing or fighting," Tiffany bit her lower lip as her eyes were everywhere.

"Government?" I shook my head. "I thought they already forgot us. Ohh... or maybe they don't know that we exist," I vomited my snarky words.

"Excuses, so many excuses Taeyeon," Tiffany shook her head "You will never change with that mind."

After that, she went inside my house leaving me with my tears streaming down my face.

I f****d up.

Always.

*****

Too fast or too slow?