Poor Queen

Closer

Late at night.

I was sleeping on the couch at the kitchen while Tiffany was in my bed at the living room.

I hate this, we're both in silent treatment.

I was staring blankly at the ceiling.

I can't sleep like this. Maybe, I won't sleep tonight with this situation. I was bewildered and I want to decipher this.

Why am I being like this?

Tiffany just came and messed it up. She's messing my quiet life. My heart beats erratically when she's around me.

I don't want to think that I'm starting to like her. She's good with words, she can manipulate people with it.

She's blunt and careless.

You know that she's saying the truth and she just care. My mind said.

Excuses. Am I just making excuses?

Yes! Because if you really want it, you'd find ways. I answered my own question.

I mirthlessly laughed at myself. I'm hopeless. I'm afraid to change, I'm afraid to leave this place and try new things but most of all, I'm afraid that no one will help us.

Yes I think we're not normal because other people thinks we have disease or we're criminals but yeah, we are. We steal money and foods but we don't hurt people. They made us do it because they don't help us and just ignore us.

We fight, only to other gangs but to clear things, we're not a gang. We're just people helping each other to live.

Excuses. Don't blame other people because of your misery! My subconscious chided.

"Hiks... hiks..." I turned to face the couch, I was crying silently.

When night comes, my emotions get stronger. I don't let anyone see me like this, not even to Yoona.

I always show that I'm fine but deep inside me, I'm broken. I want to live my life too, to change and be a better person.

But I have these responsibilities as a leader, I'm not complaining but I feel like it's controlling my life.

I can't just leave them.

Then I felt the couch weighted more as another body sunk on it and warm arm wrapped around me.

I startled but Tiffany spoke "Taeyeon, I'm sorry."

I stiffened and my heart beats faster than ever!

Tiffany's hugging me from behind! Her intoxicating scent became a drug to me.

"I know you're just helping them. I'm sorry for being close minded but still, you know you have choices. I mean if you really want to help, don't make them used to depend on you," she mumbled but I can hear it clearly because her face nuzzled at the back of my neck.

I mustered all my confidence and turned around to face her.

Her eyes were different now, there were so much emotions but mostly, I could see concern.

Tiffany wiped my tears on my face "I don't like it seeing you cry Taeyeon."

I didn't know but I started to lean closer to her, I was looking at her lips. It looked so soft then I gradually looked at her face.

Tiffany didn't move away as I felt her breathing on my face.

We're about to kiss but I stopped, just inch apart.

"Thank you for the concern, Pani ah."

Tiffany genuinely smiled "Pani?"

I was about to pull away but she won't let me as she hugged me tightly.

"Pani? That's cute. Always call me like that," then she snuggled to me as she buried her face on my chest.

"Good night Tae."

I smiled and hugged her back "Good night Pani ah."

Just being with her is perfect.

She's perfect.

And I'm taking back what I said 'cuz tonight, I'm going to sleep well and comfortable.

I woke up and again, Tiffany wasn't here anymore. I guess she's there again near at the storehouse.

I quickly fixed myself and went outside to check her.

In my surprise, I saw the elders formed in lines.

They're exercising? Or dancing?

I walked slowly as I watched them then I saw the kids in front of them with Yoona.

I smiled at the scene. They became one as they moved.

Cooperation. They have team work.

Actually they're like robots but they're cute robots, indeed. Their movements were limited especially the elders, maybe because they're old.

Then I saw Tiffany... she's the one who initiated it, apparently, she's the choreographer.

Everyone has smiles on their faces, they're all energetic while the children became hyper. It became their quality time.

Tiffany was giving them positive vibes and I'm thankful to her for that. I like their smiles. It's real and it gives me good mood.

I stared at Tiffany while she's still instructing them. She's smiling at them. Her eyes were also smiling. She's so lovely.

For me, she's a crystal clear because I can see her emotion through her eyes easily and it's obvious, that she always try to hide it to everyone.

Somewhat, we have a connection to each other as she's seeing the real me through my facade.

I will not deny it anymore, I like her.

But the day after tomorrow, she will gonna leave us. The three days stay will be over.

I shook my head, no.

She have to stay here, I will extend it! But what if she don't want to stay? Don't be selfish! And she promised to visit everyday so cheer up!

Still, it's different that she's here with us.

I turned pale just thinking of Tiffany will leave, I didn't realize that I held my breath. I sharply exhaled then I choked.

"Are you okay? You're spacing out Tae," Tiffany said with concern in her voice. I didn't notice that they're done.

"Whoa, Tae? Is that your pet name to Taeyeonie?" Yoona asked playfully to Tiffany.

I cleared my throat for the last time.

"Good morning," I greeted with my hoarse voice.

"So cute!!!" Yoona squeaked and pinched my cheeks then she kissed one of it.

Tiffany frowned but quickly hid it with smile "You didn't answer me, sleepyhead. You always do," she's implying something and I know what it was.

I'm being dumb again for not answering what's being asked.

"Oh I'm fine. Anyway, as I see, they're all happy," I glanced at everyone and beamed.

"It's Tiffany's suggestion, sure thing all of us have fun," Yoona informed me and I nodded.

"Okay! Let's have breakfast! I know they're hungry like me! Yay!" Yoona added.

Then everybody walked and entered the storehouse.

"Come on Tae," Tiffany said.

Before she could walk I held her hand, she quizzically looked at me like I'm a puzzle.

"Thank you Pani," I told her, wholeheartedly.

Then she gave me eye smile, I almost lost with it.

"There's really nothing to thank me," she stated like it's obvious.

"Thank you for coming into my life," I said not breaking out gazes to show her my sincerity.

Tiffany nodded "It's my pleasure," then she entwined our hands and dragged me inside the storehouse.

After breakfast, we bathed the children then Tiffany made a lot of activities for them.

We taught them how to count from 1 to 10.

We taught them how to read and write.

And we played with them.

We enjoyed every activity and this was the first time that we stopped our routine. We stopped teaching them to steal and fight. And we actually stopped stealing and fighting just for this day because of Tiffany.

I guess it's really a good thing, that she's here with us.

Too good to be true.

The day quickly passed.

And I'm starting to get worried about tomorrow.

*****