Alfaaz ( Words left unsaid )

Chapter 3

Life is beautiful,   but not when you have guilt inside you. I don't know about Ahaan but for me life has never been more difficult. I know I need to be strong but I can't help it.  No matter how hard I try,  someway or the other I end up crying for him,  because of him.  Currently I am sitting in my room,  looking at the now broken photo frame in my hand.  How happy I was before he started acting weird.

I look down at it once again as another tear drop escapes my eyes.  All his lies,  his jokes,  his pranks now feel like a trap.  A trap that somehow got me too much captured inside itself that I can't even get out of it,  even after 2 God dam years. 

I feel myself panic as a wave of nostalgia hit me.  Closing my eyes,  I try my best to get back to normal state but the world starts to turn blurry.  Today I  was supposed to leave for Paris but my condition speaks otherwise.

I cry out in pain as I  double down holding my stomach.  I know these signs, but it all stopped for quite some time.  My skin turns red and black spots start cuddling my vision. Trying my best to gain control,  I walk myself to my bed but fall midway with a loud bang.  I lay down on the ground,  not being able to move one bit.

" Shaziyaa!!  " I hear Sara Appi calling me but I can't move. The voices were all clear to me but my body once again gave up.

" Aasif!!  Ahaan!!  Abbu!! " She screamed as she bent down and tried her level best to pick me up.  Not once stopping as she kept on calling someone for help.  Soon the whole room was filled with people and I found myself lying on the bed with Sara Appi beside me, crying as the doctor examined me. I know what's gonna happen now,  the truth I tried to hide for the past 2 years will come out.

" Doctor what happened? " Sara Appi asked,  still sobbing

" It's a complicated case your highness.  Your sister is suffering from a serious case of Intendrom syndrome ( Imaginary disease). In this the patient suffers from past drama disorder or frequent panic attacks.  This disease usually never reach a stage as complicated as this but few of my intuition tell me that her body is way too weak to cope up with all the stress she must have gone through making her like this. " the doctor explained making everyone in the room quiet down,  the only sound heard was of my beating heart.

I know these people needed to know but didn't knew how to tell them.  I guess this is Allah's way of helping me.

" From how long doctor?  I mean how long does it takes to reach this stage? " Appi asked the doctor making my breath stop.  If the doctor by any chance tell her then I know she'll forever hate me for lying to her.

" I don't know exactly but it takes approx two years to reach her stage.  Though I must say your sister has taken good care of it and is a strong person herself else these attacks have the power to kill someone as well. " Doctor said and suddenly I felt someone leave the room. Somehow my heart tells me it was Ahaan but I do not know properly.

" Your highness,  if you allow me I need to take her blood sample for running a few test. " doctor says again as I feel a sharp object inserted inside me and soon the whole world falls into a deep silence.

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I woke up with the beeping sound of something.  My throat felt like being on fire. I needed water urgently as I somehow managed to sit up.  I searched for it everywhere but the mug of water was empty.  I tried getting up from my place I tried walking only to stumble back on bed.  Suddenly a hand came from behind helping me with my posture.  Soon a glass of water was also infront of me.  I wanted so bad to ask him if he's angry with me for not telling him but who am I kidding,  everyone in the family is.

Gulping the water down I got enough power to speak.  I looked in his direction but he was looking away.  His eyes as usual held pain but this time they were hurt as well.  I was about to speak when he started,

" After discovering about Diya I was shattered.  I did not knew what to do and when you too left I felt like I also need some time for my own self.  I decided to go out frequently, engaged myself in my work and somehow distanced myself from others.  For someone looking from outside,  I was just having some time to heal myself but no one knew the truth. 

Every night I used to have a panic attack,  nightmares too.  The condition was so serious that for once I even tried committing suicide but then I stopped myself thinking about my family.  Soon my attacks started dying down and I  was getting back to normal but it was all when I was out of Aasimgadh.  The moment I returned back these stupid attacks started once again,  I had one last night too...

I'm not telling you this because I now know about your condition but because I  don't want you to feel that you're alone.  That no one understands you.  I do,  I know how it feels, though I can't compare to the pain you had but I somehow have a hint of it so don't ever feel you're alone in this.  I know you were undergoing various therapies for the past two years and you even succeeded in getting rid of this problem but returning back here triggered some loose strands once again. " he said and without even thinking I hugged him.  I don't know what came up to me that I did this but I cried in his embrace once again.

" I.. I wanted to... to tell everyone but it.. It was hard.  I.. I can't talk about it. It takes a lot.. " I sobbed hard as he stroked my back murmuring sweet cheerful words.

" my body is.. -" I was about to tell him the biggest truth of my life when suddenly Sara Appi stormed inside my room.  Her face showed pure anger and I realized my position.  I was literally sitting on Ahaan's lap and hugging him.  I jumped out of his lap and sat beside him.

From the look in Appi's eyes I know she heard everything.  She even heard what Ahaan said.  I just somehow know.

I walked up to her trying my best to speak and explain her everything but no words left my mouth and even before they did,  she took hold of my and Ahaan's hands and pulled us both out of my room.

" Appi please listen to me!  Appi at least once!  Appi hear me out please! " I begged her to listen to me once and so did Ahaan but nothing worked.  She kept on dragging us,  passing the hall and out towards the driveway.  I did not once understand what she was trying to do as she forced me and Ahaan inside one of the cars and shut the door.

" Appi? " I asked looking at her and she finally smiled.

" where are we going? " I asked but she did not tell,  only motioned to the driver to move.

We started moving out with Ahaan throwing tantrums on how he'll dismiss the driver if he didn't tell us where we were going but nothing helped.  The driver was more loyal to his Queen.  Suddenly my phone beeped signalling a message.  I opened it to see it was from Appi.  The words inside it were enough to stop my heart from beating once again...

" You both are going to the Royal prison.  It's time to face your past and move on... "