shadow of soulmate

arms around

I sit in my room and write and solve whatever questions I can. Then I peep into my phone. No message I see, so I keep it back.

The phone rings after 35 minutes. I pick it up. Its him, he Is sounding eager and excited. What has happened god knows. Its 1 30 pm and the afternoon sun is over my head. He said,” look down your window on the left. I hurriedly walk to the other side of the bed to window . I see him. What on earth is he doing here. . He was in the park swinging in the air at me while talking.

I exclaimed on the phone “what are you doing there ?”

He said,” I came to meet you”

I m angry now. What the hell is wrong with him. My parents are at home now . What will I tell them?. I shouted at him,” I cant some come now.. you moron “

He is sad and remains silent

Then he starts pleading . Please!!!.

Going down now is risky . But this heart is not to be trusted upon.

It forces me to meet him. My mother was in the shower. I told my father I am going to give this copy to friend. Well , there was no such copy and there was no such friend.

I tell him silently, “wait for a minute , I m coming . Stay were you are”

I stop the call and quietly get out of the door. I hurriedly use stairs and go down. Then I almost run to the park.

He stands there . I go near him

He smiles as if he experienced rain in summers. He come close towards me..i m wearing a red dress ,sleeveless feet covered with pumps and hair just washed with no makeup. I adjust my dress. Then he looked at me and said, “you look nice “

With outrageous tone, “ why are you here ?” I shout at him. I shout so loud that a guy standing 15 meter away could listen me. He puts his fingers in his lips and enact to be quiet.

I tell him ,” lets walk and talk “

He comes near me and replied, “I can pick you up and walk also.”

I m quite shocked to hear this . Really he said that. I hoped that her girl was there.

I sarcastically reply ,” god has given me legs I can walk" . We started walking and talking and I was telling him about the area around me and houses. When suddenly he stopped,” he opened his arms and I in that motion hug him. I almost wrap myself around him and it stays for almost 5 min. He promoted in my ears ,’ I love you’. I was almost in confusion state and couldn’t reply anything back. I said, I m going back home my mother must be looking for me. I ran back home almost like a cheetah. In the lift I kept thinking the 3 words he said to me . Now a days , this words are like used for nothing and mean nothing to people , they say it in flow so the question was should I take it seriously or not. When I entered the house ,my mom asked me, “where have you been?” I replied in a gloomy mood,” went to a friends house. :” she could read that something was going on my mind. I didn’t want to talk to anyone .

It was evening when I got some time to go through my phone as I have been avoiding it for a long time. Do I love him too? And is that right ? I don’t know completely . I don’t want to extend this thing between us anymore. The notion, the emotions all should be erased as soon as possible. I decided not to give him any reply back. I don’t way to convey anything

I open my diary and Express e everything . I know I don’t have anyone to share these thoughts but writing it gives me relief and just releases the burden of feelings and guilt.