chasing stars

Im standing on a flat rock. Im really high up. I think it's on top of a mountain. Im surrounded by only the star filled sky. Its beautiful. Theres nothing but darkness on the sides of the rock. I can feel someone else here. I somehow know that it is a man. I feel like he is behind me. I want to turn around but its happening so slowly. Its windy and my hair is whipping about wildly. As im starting to face him This loud disrupting noise starts. Each time i hear it everything shakes. I see only his long black hair blowing across his face and very muscular Arms, chest and wide shoulders. I instinctively reach out for him. Im suddenly falling, i stiffen my arms bracing for impact. I hit the ground. I wake up panting. My heart feels like it is going to explode. I run my hand through my hair. Ew, its drenched! Yep, i fell in between my bed and the wall... again. I really need to rearrange my room. I struggle to wiggle myself up and roll across my bed. I land on the other side on my feet. I slap the alarm snooze button and aggressively click the off button. I raise my hands to my temple and try to calm myself. I let out a heavy sigh and collapse my upper body on my bed with my arms stretched out across my bed "Ugh! Stupid alarm! I almost saw him!" i say to noone. Now im going to be in my head allday. Oh well, time to get this train wreak of a day started. I hurry through my shower It isn't until im struggling through drying off ,and brushing my teeth that i notice. My ferret of a baby sister swiped my favorite lipgloss... again. That's the 4th one i re-bought this month! My baby sister is 13. She for some unknown reason thinks im cool. We are going through the raiding my closet and taking my make-up stage apparently. I guess i should be grateful she looks up to me but, im lipglossless and grumpy today. I grab my brush and start brushing my hair as i stumble through my room. Ugh, would it kill me to clean my room! Yep, im wearing sweat pants today! I find a purple pair and a plain white t-shirt. Its friday, and i dont care. I grab some matching purple socks and my slides. Well the right one anyway. Wheres the left one? I decide to go full on maniac at this point. Im throwing clothes in the floor everywhere. Now im frustrated and land in the floor on my butt. I take a deep breath and look around at my very messy room. Then i see it. My left shoe that is. Its under my dresser across the room. I really need to be more organized. Ugh!. I fish my shoe out only to realize i have 5 mins before the bus. I start grabbing my books and homework and cramming it in my bag. My baby sister starts yelling to hurry up. "im coming you little ferret!" Marcela is her real name. I race downstairs so fast my foot catches the last step and smack face first into the wall in front of the staircase. "wow, i see you're in all your full glory today" my mom says. I look to my right and shes holding toast and a yeti cup full of coffee. "Thanks for breakfast and the grace genes Mom" I put the toast in my teeth while i put my bag over my shoulder. "Those clumsy genes belong to your father,dear. I gave you the looks thank you very much" she says as she heads for the door. I grab my keys and quickly kiss her cheek. "i love you mom bye" "oh and Eva, dont forget ill bring pizza home for supper. You dont need to take anything out of the freezer" "yay, pizza" i say as unhappy as possible. "Eva, i have to work and im sorry that means you have to eat fast food more than youd like" " I know mom. If you werent a good cook i would be happier for pizza nights" my mom crosses her arms and says" Ill cook this weekend okay? now hurry up before you miss the bus" I follow her out and begin walking to the bus stop. I hate that i have to ride the bus. All the 11th graders pretty much drive themselves or ride with friends. I see my sister and her bestfriend Sara are chatting so i dont interupt. I guess i cant be to upset. My mom does the best she can. I see the bus coming. I take a deep breath and prepare myself. The bus is LOUD. I follow Marcela and Sara up the steps and start my decent to the trenches. I find my spot on the last seat in the very back. I throw my hoodie over my head and put my headphones in and snuggle into my corner. We have to drop the elementary students off first. Then middle school and finally we're released from torture. I grab my bag as we pull up. I step off the bus and drink the rest of my coffee. Im trying to get my cup in my bag. When i hear yelling. Its the most popular couple in my school. They are having a very heated disagreement. I know its wrong to eavesdrop but im a teenage girl. I am attracted to drama like a moth to flame. My personal life is non-existent. Im taking a very exaggerated length of time to put my cup up and act like i dont hear them. " I saw you kiss her Jeremy!" " Amanda she kissed me!" " Your hand was on her Butt Jeremy!" Ohh this IS good i think to myself. "Amanda if you don't trust me, why are you with me!" " Good question Jeremy. Why AM i with you?" " You know what we are DONE AMANDA!" just then my only friend Micah walks up. "Tell me you heard everything" I laugh." I heard enough. He kissed someone else apparently" Micah grabs his chest all dramatically "say no more my heart cant take it" I roll my eyes and stand up. " Come on before we are late" We both have 1st period together. Its my favorite part of the day next to lunch. The rest of my classes Im bored and friendless. Im not bullied, just ignored. Most of the people from my school wouldn't even remember me going here if it werent for my picture in the yearbook. Micah is what has kept me sane. Hes my best friend. I think he's going to make it big one day. Hes really into broadway, musicals things like that. Ive been forced to watch Grease so many times, i think my eyes will bleed if i see it ONE more time. If he asked me to watch it again. I will though. When lunch comes Micah and i sit down outside under our favorite tree. I pass him a sandwich from my bag. He does his bad news cough. I stop chewing and give him my warning look. "Eva my love" oh this isn't good. He only invokes my love on grade A bad news. I immediately tense and sit up. " I dont know how to tell you this" oh no no it's bad , really bad. "You know how my dad moved to California" i say a muffled "yea" because i still have mouth full of sandwhich. " Well , you know how my parents divorced right" i narrow my eyes "go on" i say "well, he wants me to come live with him." my eyes go wide and i force the food down my throat. " what are you saying Micah" he rubs his hands through his hair " Im saying in 5 days when school let's out. Im moving to California and I'm not coming back" i just sit there for a moment. I'm still processing it all. " wow, i did not have Micah moving to California on my bingo card" " i know but Eva its a great opportunity for me" " i know Micah. Im just having a selfish moment. You're MY best friend. Im not ready for you to be all IM GONNA DO ME just yet. i thought we would graduate together before i had to let you go be all YOU and fabulous" " they have phones and video calling ya know" as he shoulder bumps me. i immediately relax and giggle "yea true. promise you won't forget me Micah?" " FORGET you? my best friend? NEVA!!" just then the bell rang and we get up heading back to class. The rest of the day was a giant fog. I went from thinking about my reoccuring dream to Micah moving and THE loneliest senior year ever coming my way. The bus finally arrives at my stop. Marcela , Sara and I start walking home. "Hey Eva what's wrong with you" Marcela asks. " Nothing just had a bad day." she hits my arm " try again" " Micah is moving to California okay!" and i start walking faster. " wait, WHAT! When! WHY! " i stop and turn around " His Dad wants him to and he's wants to" " wow I'm happy for him but i know this is hard for you" she says. " Yea it stinks but at the same time i want him to be happy" i say. " hey i was planning on going to Sara's but i can stay if you want me to " she says. I laugh " No, ill be fine. Go have fun okay" " okay Sis love you" she says as we part ways to different sides of the street. I finally get home and make it to my room and collapse on my bed. My phone starts ringing. Its Micah. "hey wanna come over and watch a movie after i get back from the mall" " i cant , my mom said i have to stay home this weekend because i stayed out 30 mins past my curfew last weekend. Remember." "oh right, you're grounded. Well, im about to go to the mall, so call you after?" i reply " yea, call me after and let me know how your date went. Let him know your best friend is crazy so no mistreating you okay?" " He knows Sis, he knows" i bust out laughing "so you already told him about me? You LOVE me, you know you do" he starts laughing " yea, you're my crazy lady forever" " forever and always" i hang up and decide i may as well clean my room since i have no life. Im just finishing up when my room door opens. "I really need to ground you more often. I haven't seen this floor in years" i come out of my closet from straightening my shoes "yea, i was bored and sad" i say while popping down on my bed. My mom comes all the way in and sits beside me on my bed. "wanna talk about it?" So, i did. after i was done. She sat quietly for a moment. All the sudden she stood up and said "Yep, that settles it. I know just the remedy." i looked at her partly Curious and partly concerned "remedy for what?" she looked at me and smiled "you need a summer vacation" okay now I'm concerned "what? we can't afford vacations mom." she gave me that look she gets when she's about to do something crazy "no, WE cant but I can let you go visit my sister." "Aunt Vivian? we havent seen her in like 5 years mom" she looks at me with a smirk "Shes my sister, honey. Sisters are forever. So what do you think? If she says yes, do you want to go?" " ill think about it mom ,okay. Its Arizona and that's kinda far from home." she taps her foot and i automatically know its a losing battle "Fine Mom, ill go okay. Now I'm going to eat pizza if you don't mind" "fine by me my beautiful daughter. Can you text Marcela and tell her to come home" "yep on it Mom" i say as i make my way downstairs. Im deep in thought about spending the summer in Arizona. Im having mixed feelings. Itd be nice to see where my Dad grew up. He died when i was still in my mom's belly. My Aunt Vivian is his sister. My mother and Aunt Vivian were best friends growing up. My mom decided to leave and move to Texas after i was born. She said it was to hard to live there with all the memories of him. I guess i can understand that. My grandparents on my mother's side moved shortly after to be close. She was an only child. Ive never been to Arizona. Ive never been out of this state for that matter. My mom remarried when i was 3 and They had my baby sister. He cheated on my mom so she divorced him. He visits my sister still though on the weekends and holidays. I took the divorce hard because he stopped being my "Dad" if you know what i mean. Im over it now but it was hard for a bit. I decide its time to go to bed early.This day has been weird. I tell my mom and Marcela goodnight and get up from the table. I pick my phone up and text Micah on my way upstairs. I hope he doesn't think I'm mad at him. I just can't take anymore conversations at this point.