Heart of Steel

Busted

I awoke the following morning having no clue how I was even able to get a few hours of sleep and feeling terrified to face Sam. He must have had a reason for coming up there last night. I checked the time on my cell phone and noticed a text from a number that I didn't recognize or have saved in my phone.

Coming in at 9 AM. Had 3 missed calls from Sam and a text to meet him in the Library.

The Library? Why on Earth did Sam want Shane to meet him in the Library? The only possible explanation I could come up with was the exact same reason I had taken Shane in there over 2 years ago: no cameras. This posed so many questions in my mind. Did Sam know Shane had been there last night? If he did, how did he find out? What had Shane done with his car, just nonchalantly parked it in the back lot or something? I was too frazzled to even reply. Being that it was only 8:20, I knew I had time to shower before Shane got there. Sam may not have wanted me in the Library, but I was going to be there. I knew he was protective of me and I didn't want him losing his temper and trying to hurt Shane. This was, after all, completely my fault. I was the one that went behind everyone's back and picked Shane up in hopes to find out what had happened to me. And while I hadn't forced Shane to come over last night, I hadn't kicked him out either. Dammit! I thought to myself in a frustrated tone. Why the hell did you have to make things worse, Kase? You decided 2 nights ago that you were going to accept the fact that you couldn't be with Shane and then you almost had s*x with him last night! What is the matter with you?

My self to self lecture was interrupted by a loud knock at my bathroom door, causing me to jump and let out a high pitched squeal. I hadn't even heard someone come in my bedroom.

"Yes?" I said tentatively.

"Are you decent?" said Sam in an almost menacing tone.

He sounded pissed.

"Um... yes..." I said slowly.

He opened the door rather forcefully as I took a step back to get out of the way. He was wearing a scowl that I had never seen on his face before. It did not suit him at all. His blue eyes were blazing fiercely, eyebrows narrowed, arms crossed tightly across his chest.

"I need to talk to you and Steel in the Library. He'll be here in half an hour." he said before turning around and practically racing out of the room.

"Why the Library?" I shouted after him, unsurprised but still upset when he didn't respond.

What the hell was that all about?

After showering and drying my hair I threw on a pair of athletic pants and a comfortable t-shirt and headed downstairs. I had decided to give Shane a heads up by texting him and saying that Sam wanted me to be there too. When I walked into the Library, they were both already there and Sam was holding Shane by the throat against a tall bookshelf. A small part of my brain began to freak out, but then logic took over and I realized that Shane was about twice Sam's weight and could have easily shrugged him off. Plus Shane looked extremely calm. I walked over to them a little more quickly, but I didn't by any means run.

"Don't lie to me Steel! I know it was you who set the cameras to sleep mode and I know that you were here last night! Now I'm going to ask you one last time, what in the hell were you doing?!"

"Sam-" I began, but stopped abruptly upon seeing the rage in his eyes as he snapped his head in my direction.

"I don't want to hear a word out of you! I'll deal with you next." he growled, scowling at me the same way he had in my bathroom earlier.

"Don't talk to her that-" Shane began.

"She's MY sister! I can talk to her however I want!" Sam yelled into Shane's face.

"And you two better tell me what the hell is going on before I bring Kendrick and James into the mix!" he spat.

Shane and I exchanged a significant look while Sam looked back and forth between us for a few seconds of tense silence.

"I found out about us." I said simply, looking Sam straight in the eyes.

Since his face was so close to Shane's, I could see the latter close his eyes and hang his head in defeat.

"Can you get off of him now?" I asked Sam with a slight tone of annoyance.

Sam narrowed his eyes at me, then turned to glare at Shane before releasing his throat and turning away from him. He put his hands on his hips and paced back and forth, positively fuming and as red as a fire engine. Then, when he had seemingly calmed down enough to speak, he stopped pacing, pressed his hands together in front of his chest, and looked at Shane.

"I thought you of all people were the one person I could trust to take this seriously. What the f**k were you thinking?"

"I... wasn't." Shane said simply, hanging his head even further and looking downright ashamed.

Sam took a couple of steps toward him, but he didn't seem nearly as aggressive as before.

"You know she could get killed because of this. You know that." he said calmly.

Shane's eyes filled with tears but he couldn't seem to bring himself to look at me or Sam.

"I know you love her, man. And you must miss her like crazy. But you have got to remember why we're all in this mess in the first place. You can't lose site of that now. She's much too important, and her life is much too precious. Hopefully one day, this will all be over. But it isn't yet. And you know that."

Now Shane and I were both crying, but for different reasons. I assumed he was doing it because he was ashamed that he had put me in such danger, but my motivation was different. It was because I still didn't understand this reason Sam was speaking of and it was extremely apparent to me at that point that no one was going to tell me. It was also because I could tell by the look on Shane's face that we were probably never going to get to be alone and/or intimate again. The childish side of me wanted to blame Sam for ruining our perfect little moment, but again that damn logic showed up and said that Sam was only pointing out the cold hard truth, and he was doing so because he truly cared for both of us.

"If you slip up like that again," said Sam, still looking into Shane's distraught face,

"I will not hesitate to have you fired. I can't let you put her in that position."

Shane finally looked up to see Sam's stern gaze, but couldn't seem to find his voice. So he simply nodded, closing his eyes and swallowing simultaneously. Tears continued to stream from my eyes as Sam turned to face me, his face softening only a touch when he saw how upset I was.

"I know you don't understand this. Because no matter what he told you that night you took him home, I know he didn't tell you the whole story."

I wanted to ask how he knew that, and how he had known that Shane was there last night in the first place, but I couldn't speak either. I just kept crying and looking up at the tall Library ceiling, wishing that he would hurry up with his lecture so I could go cry alone in my room. He walked closer to me and embraced me in a tight hug. It took a few seconds, but I finally gave in and wrapped my arms around him, then broke down completely. I don't remember exactly what I said, nor if all of it was comprehendible, but I do know that the words 'I'm sorry' came up several times. Sam just kept hugging me until I calmed down and then he pulled back to look me in the eyes, his hands on my shoulders.

"One day you may understand all of this. But for now just know that if you care about him or yourself at all, you have got to stay away from him. The only interaction you two can have is professional. Do you understand?"

Anger and jealousy expanded in my chest like a flame to kerosene. Why the hell was I the only person who had to be in the dark about all of this? Everyone else seemed to know the whole freaking story. This was incredibly frustrating and confusing. Of course I cared about Shane! And of course I didn't want to put him or myself in danger, but I also wanted more than just about anything to spend every single waking moment by his side. All I could do was nod slowly. Sam seemed satisfied enough, because he patted my left shoulder with his right hand and gave me a small smile.

"I love you, sis. And I only want what's best for you." he said quietly.

I nodded again, forcing myself to look him in the eyes this time.

"I'm going to leave you two alone for about 2 minutes." he said before turning away from us and walking towards the Library exit.

I looked up to find Shane leaning against the same bookshelf Sam had him pinned to a few minutes prior, looking completely deflated. I walked up to him and wrapped my arms tightly around his waist. We both sobbed loudly and animatedly for what seemed like an hour. We each said that we were sorry, then we each wiped the other's tears away affectionately. Then we shared one last kiss, which was very short but just as incredible as all the others. I stared into his hazel eyes for a long while, still the most beautiful things I had ever seen even though they were puffy and red, and then, somehow finding the strength to do so, I turned away from him and walked out of the room.