Between noon and two, because Cookie Coke is apparently high on coke, and because Jonah doesn’t feel he can honestly count on the woman to accomplish her duties, he and Sandy sit at the dining room table, skim through their cell phones for important wedding-related contacts, and reach out to:
The Tiers of Batter to see if the cake will be delivered to The Golden Mongoose through hell or high snow. Missy Brightchild takes Jonah’s call, a prissy little b***h who says, “We’re professionals. Through rain, shine, and almost two feet of snow, your cake will be at the reception.”
Pastor Blaine Hardwick tells Sandy in an almighty tone, “God sometimes likes a thick layer of icing on his Christmas days, and He never has a day off from church.” Sandy’s unsure exactly what this means, but attempts t
