Breed by Alpha Jaxton

Chapter 59

“........ from this moment onward I remove every bond connecting me to you, by the moon goddess and the earth....” he takes a deep breathe. 

“Let it be so.” He says and falls to his knees with the pain that wrenches through him and myself. 

It feels like I am being torn apart. I can’t breathe. I try to stand but I am weak to my knees. I can’t move. 

Seeing him on the floor I want to run to him and help him up, my heart still longs for him. I still want to reach for him and take away the pain. It feels like a chunk of me was yanked out. I have never felt such gut wrenching pain before. I am gasping for breathe as tears flood down my face. I don’t care if they see me cry. They have succeeded in destroying me. They have succeeded in hurting me and breaking me beyond repair. 

My eyes find my mum and dad. They are huddled together watching and mama is obviously crying. But from their stance I see resignation. They knew. I didn’t know there was anything left in me to break and fall apart but apparently there is because I fall to piece and I feel the cold seep it out my skin and flood me. 

I struggle to stand because I have cried I rather go somewhere and cry where none of them Will see my humiliation. Emily is not here, she’s still with her mate somewhere having a good time. 

As I struggle to stand up I nearly slip and fall on my face but someone grabs a hold of me from behind and I feel heat. Scorching heat but I don’t focus on it. I feel more cold than heat. 

The cold has seeped into my bloodstreams. I am feeling the numbness and I welcome it with open arms. 

I find my mama and hold her eyes. She’s trying to tell me how sorry she is with her eyes but nothing can make up for this. No matter the apology they have done something unforgettable and unforgivable. I can’t stay with them again. I have to leave. I can’t stay anywhere close to them. 

Jeeeezzzz this hurts so bad. Everyone betrayed me. Everyone of them that are watching with pity and remorse. These heartless lots feel remorse now?? 

Now?? When it is all done and gone ??

I thank whoever is holding me up because I would have fallen on my face. I can’t do this again but I see the smug smirk on Jenny. I have a lot to tell her. 

“You f*****g slut.” I hiss at her. 

Her eyes widen and the crowd gasp. 

“You open your goddamn legs for anybody but the one person you should have shut your legs for you couldn’t. How could you do this to me??” I ask her. 

“How could I do what? Like I said I didn’t force him to choose me... he did by his own free will and I am obviously the better choice. Don’t lie to yourself. I am obviously the best sister.” She smiles innocently.

“You are the better sister or the easy sister?” I ask her smiling but bitterly and with no amusement. 

“I think you can see from there that I am the one holding the price. I am going to be the Luna and you are going to be .... you.” She says and step closer to him.” She is still looking smug. 

People are looking at me with eyes of pity and i want the ground to open up and swallow me. I wonder who is holding me up.... 

“Wake me up. This is nothing but a dream.” I say to myself. 

Oh goddess this should be nothing but a bad dream. Please God. 

My eyes cut to the Luna and the Alpha. The Luna looks smug too and the Alpha looks bored. 

This was what all the meetings were about. Her inviting Jenny over for dinner. There’s no way Jeremy didn’t know about his mother was trying to matchmake him with Jenny. There is simply no way but he knew and kept it away from me al this time. He knew. The Alpha is clearly in on it. He has never liked me and he even encouraged Jeremy to stop hanging out with the cursed girl. Here I am standing being made a spectacle and not even my parents can stand up for me and defend me. Must be sad. Lol. 

“I am done with you. I am done with all of you. Horrible people. Totally horrid. I don’t know what I ever did to you guys that made you hate me. All I did was to be born different and with white hair. Why??” I ask no one in particular and i feel the hand holding me up by the waist tighten around me in comfort. 

I don’t know who it is, he even smells different. I have never smelt that before. Something masculine, musky and ancient. It smells like something you find when you are going deep deep into the words and I it stumble on an ancient figure or remains in the earth. There is this smell and feeling to it and I feel like he is making it better somehow. Taking the pain. Soaking it off me. But it seems like the pain I am feeling is endless. It has no beginning or end. This is the end for me. 

Without a mate I am nothing. No existence. Just wondering why the goddess even created me in the first place. I am better off dead or gone. I can’t wake up every morning and face the loathing, smug faces of the people and the face of my blood wicked sister. 

“I hope you’re happy. I hope you are really happy.” I tell them all .

Some even have the stupid courtesy to avert their eyes from mine in shame and some are sobbing. I must be that pitiful right.

“I am done here... I hate you and I don’t want to ever see you again. And I hate you for enabling her. You always did. You always f*****g did enable her.” I tell her. 

“You don’t mean that baby. You don’t mean that.” She says. My mother says. She’s openly crying. I don’t know why she’s crying and acting surprised. It is not like she doesn’t know what she doing. It’s not like she didn’t know she was destroying my life. 

“I didn’t know he was your mate baby. I swear we didn’t know.” She starts towards me but one look at me changes her mind. I am here to make her feel better so she cab assuage her guilt. She brought this on herself. They both did. 

And there is my father watching and waiting. 

“You always loved her more than you loved me. Protecting her but not me. Why?? What did I ever do to you??” I ask him. 

He just looks stoic and angry. Angry at who? Angry at himself?!

“That’s not true and you know it.” He says simply. 

“Why did the both of you turn a blind eye to the truth of the abuse and bullying because you are shitty parents.” I scream at them. 

I fall or least when my legs give out the man behind Me holds me up. I wish he would just let go of me so I can fall the ground and curl up into a ball and just cry. 

My eyes find Jeremy’s. He looks like he is in pain. Pain I don’t understand because he did this to us. He didn’t have to but he did anyways. After all the years of friendship and love. He was the only one who stood by myself and now he used the same jabs and insults and he threw them right in my face. 

The pain is lancing through my body. I am crying and sobbing. I am broken and I don’t think feeling this kind of pain is normal. It hurts so f*****g bad. 

“What did I ever do?” I whisper like a mantra over and over again. 

I hear the Luna’s voice in the background talking to her ladies. She’s obviously tired of the display. She orchestrated this whole mess and manipulated her son but she is not to be blamed for it entirely. He knew what he was doing. He made the decision to let me go and deny me in front of the whole pack. I look at him and let him see the stark naked pain he has caused me. I let him feel it too. There is no link between us anymore, he severed it and it can’t ever come back. 

I am sobbing for the love I never had, for the family that never loved enough, for the dad that picked his favorite daughter over me time and time again, for the mother that stood Idly, for the pack that abused me. I’m crying for everything I have lost today.