Breed by Alpha Jaxton

Chapter 8: Forgetting the pain

“You know how I feel about them and how them make me so mad all the time with their teasing and pushing. I don’t fight back and I respect that they are your friends but you can’t keep acting like you don’t know that they hate me and I hate them too because of what they do.” I tell him.

He just stands there looking in denial.

He is doing it again.

Asking me to ignore my abusers, to forget and act like it’s not real. I should live with him in his ridiculous bubble and ignore my reality. They can never understand how I feel and I don’t expect them to understand or feel it but asking me to try and get along with my torturers is the highest thing they can ask of me and I am not going to stand for it or do it. I just can’t. It is not possible for me to do it.

But looking at those baby brown eyes I feel that weakness. I feel it to my knees and I know without a doubt that he would tell to trust him and I would. That makes me weak but it is what it is right?! Pathetic.

“You are blowing things out of proportion. They don’t hate you. They might be teasing you but it’s all jokes.” He says with a nonchalant shrug.

“You must be joking.” I tell him.

“They hate me because I am different. They all hate me and you are not seeing it. It’s not like I need saving because frankly I am used to it and it doesn’t bother me anymore, but you cannot keep pretending that you don’t see it. It hurts me.” I yell at him.

“You are different but it is a good different. I never hate on you for it. I don’t see the problem.” He says stubbornly.

“You are refusing to see reason. You are not getting my point. I am not saying it is a problem. I am cool with it, it is something I cannot change but you cannot keep lying to my face that I am not treated harshly and different than other wolves in the pack. “ I challenge him.

"lily, I don't just get how you think they don't like you. They are my friends of course they like you and even if they don't I don't care about that. I like you and that should be enough. Trust me." He says.

I look at him like he has lost his damn mind. Men can be so thick sometimes. I see I am getting frustrated like my dad makes me mum frustrated. It's like he is intentionally missing the whole point. What is this thing he is doing? He can't be so blind to the names they call me and how they are mean to me always. Pushing me and calling me names.

All my life growing up eight Jen they have only ever been so mean to me for no just reason and now the fact that he wants to live in this stupid bubble he has wrapped around himself thinking because they don’t treat me mean in his presence then they don’t treat me mean at all is just absurd and for a brief moment I feel loathing for him. The same way I feel sometimes when mama is asking me how my day in school was or when dad comes to pick me from school and he acts like he does not see the dried tear tracks on my face or the lost look in my eyes.

They see it but they ignore it and deep down I know that is even worse.