love takes time

Tani , a sweet girl can be a bad b***h , she is a capricorn , suffered tons of betrayals , heart breaks , rejections . she was in a relationship from past 3 years and was being used . will she ever find love ? what will be her next step ? what are her feelings ?  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TANI'S POV  " break it of with him "  guri's words are hard to digest but makes sense . . . . i loved him never , restricted him from anything  he is allowed to have female friends but its opposite in my case , he is allowed to talk to anyone , its opposite in my case . . . . i trusted him but he never trusted me   . .  even though i tried to earn his trust did every thing possible . tried my best to be a good partner  . . never tried to control him . thought he will leave me if i did so . was with him in his darkest times . feed him sweetest words possible  he received enormous amount of compliments  , he heard the most positive words  ,  he got all the love from the bottom of my heart  in return all i got him doubting me , him not being thankful , thirsty compliments and not the generous ones , him scolding me if i did not obeyed him as if i did not unfriended anyone or did not pushed ppl away  ,  i got habitual of telling him every thing happened through out the day even the smallest details  , he was done telling in a line or two , was never interested in talking to me for long   even if i gave him a specific time to meet me he failed , he failed to prove he wants to be with me  , he failed his test , he failed to prove his love . even though i loved him from the bottom of my heart all i wanted was to be with him , to have his time , to have conversations , to feel his touch and his physical presence , i wanted him to come , i wanted him to be with me   but till when , when will i let my self respect fall , it has already fallen down to a point i dont even have enough self esteem left , till when will i cry every day ... yeah every f*****g day  i cry maybe for hours idk my eyes are swollen . i want to drift away in deep slumber and i never want to wake up NARRATOR'S  POV  alone in a room with the lights off  , curtains pulled up , doors locked , the moon light coming in through the windows , lyrics of the songs made sense to her , lying on the floor in the middle of the room , eyes closed , while crying she slept  , was  too tiered to crawl up to bed .  next day ~ mumma  : open the door ! UTH JAA ( wake up!!) its 12 in the afternoon ! have a bath and breakfast too , then sit to study !  tani : 5 MINS MORE PLEASE  i' ll wake up on time pakka (promise) . she gets up from the floor ties her hair up , opens the door and does her daily chores , texts her bf ( Rahul) and here is how the conversation goes  tani : today is the date we were about to meet , you could not make it right ?  rahul : sorry honey i could not , im really sorry  tani : ive had enough of you ! from past 3 years you COULD NOT JUST MAKE IT ! rahul : you know what the hell is going on in my life !? tani : i dont need your stupid excuses mister  rahul : you know what ? ive had enough of YOU? you are a ugly b***h !? you have no t**s no hips ? only a innocent face ? you can never satisfy me !!! i dont want you !  tani : oh i thought you loved me ? should have known this earlier , that you just used me ? and i've lost feelings for you , i have changed all the passwords , changed your number in my sss to my number ,  all the other accounts insta , snapchat i've changed all the passwords . the thing is i dont want to be with a toxic person like you . you just dont even feel a thing . even if a break things off today you'll be fine with it ? right?  rahul : i do feel things , i' m not toxic i just want you all to myself  tani : stop , just stop it all i want to say is good bye , i dont want to meet you even though i've never met you before in real , and i dont want to be with you anymore . best of luck for your future . i wish you to achieve success in any field you go . best of luck for your journey . if you still want anything i'm here always to help you  rahul : hmm same to you best of luck for your future i too wish the same for you  tani : yeah delete my pictures from your device . all kind of them  rahul : done  tani : great                                                                                BLOCKED  TANI'S POV i could not believe what just happened . why cant i stop my tears from falling ? why do i feel free ? .  (after hours of crying ) i loved him god why he never came ? he called me ugly b***h ? wtf ??? as if he is actually handsome ? skeleton s**t face dickhead mf . mumma : open your door you have to have lunch  tani : hmm  narrator  sobbing she wiped off her tears , washed her face  and had her lunch ..... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~GURI ~~CALLING ~~GURI~~CALLING ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ . .her phone screen flashed  tani : hello ?  guri : yo sup?!  tani : b***h i had a break up and thats up  guri : thats a great news ! congo !!  tani : i love him dude i cant just celebrate it  guri : ohh come on dont you feel liberated ?  tani : can i call you tomorrow ? i dont feel like talking ... umm ill call you up tom for sure  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~CALL~~~ENDED~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~