X's Lament
Oh Father in heaven, forgive me for I have committed a grave sin and hath forsaken my duties. I should have never gotten involved. After eons of helping souls pass on, I should have known that nothing good would come from making a bargain with a soul with earthly attachments. A soul that refused to pass on. A soul that would have eventually forgotten all that made them what they are.
This soul I have grown attached to should not have moved me so. For like other souls, they will eventually pass on and forget about me when they arrive to where they are going. I am the both the messenger and the guide to all living things that pass in the living world. A guide that leads them to what awaits beyond the shackles that tied them once the world on which they lived.
And I, your faithful servant, have forsaken you by going against your jurisdiction and releasing a soul meant to pass back to the physical world. But even more than that, I have found myself developing emotions beyond my comprehension.
Is this what it feels like to love someone so wholly and completely, Father? In the past I would have said that it was a fickle emotion that would eventually fade into nothingness once a being loses their meaning to live. But as an entity that exceeds human understanding, I find myself questioning whether I am cut of the same fabrics as the souls I lead towards salvation. Have I become defective, Father? Have I let myself be swayed by the wills of the little beings of the world on the other side of the veil?
I ask you, Father, for your forgiveness and mercy. These feelings that I have caused me to make an irrational decision. A decision that has cost me to question if I am really fit to be the guide to wayward souls of the beyond after millennia. Through my sense I have gained sensibility. And in turn, I hath forsaken thee of the duty you placed upon myself.
I shall more than humbly accept atonement for my transgressions and will more than willingly give up my position to thee to bestow upon a more worthy being than myself.
My only wish before you bestow me my punishment, is that you please watch over Imani and her siblings going forward. She has shown me what it means to have a true sense of bravery and selflessness. In my lifetime of glancing upon the most purest and wicked souls, I have never witnessed a being that was able to question my values and make me see the different reasons why humans do the things they do as they exist. I have achieved a new perspective on what it means to be, to feel, and to think like a human. The good, the bad, the ugly.
Heavenly Father, I know that this love as they call it will only lead to my destruction, but for me, who is able to experience this feeling first hand, please let me perish with this pandora's box. If I am to die because of attachment, let me die indulging in this sickly sweet poison. Let my body be torn and beaten by the demons I keep at bay. If only to spare the soul I hold dear to me from the wrath of your mighty hand.
Please offer them assistance in my place and protection from those that wish to destroy their happiness.
In Your name I pray, from your most loyal Reaper, your faithful soldier, and your most wicked servant,
Amen
