Mated to a Dragon Princess

Chapter Seven: Don't bond

Astrid’s P.O.V

I was really excited to learn magic, it all seemed unreal to me, I guess this makes me rethink a lot of my identity. I grew up around mostly dragon shifters, me and my parents all considered ourselves dragon shifters. First I find out I’m bisexual and now I’m more than one species or now having the abilities of more than one species. 

I looked down and realized Stella was still holding my wrist. I pulled it away and just followed. 

“We’re going back to my home, pretty much a dead end, we have clues and stuff but they might know a lot we don’t.” She ran a hand through her hair.

“Okay.” I didn’t want to say much else to her.

We walked most of the time because it was foggy which is dangerous to fly in. After a few hours it was night, it got dark early because of the fog or seemed darker so we decided to sleep now and start again when the fog died down. We set up camp.

“Astrid.” 

I looked over at Stella. “Yah?”

“We might as well talk, we might not be able to reject each other for a long time, might as well not make this too awkward. We can fight it all we want but if Caleb doesn’t turn up soon and he won’t, we’ll bond anyways.” She walked to me and sat down beside me on a rough log. “You never told me how you feel about all of this.”

I started playing with twigs. “Of course I didn’t… nothing is making much sense recently. I don’t even know how I feel about all of this.”

She looked away slowly nodding. “I’m really sorry-“

I cut her off. “I have a question.” She glanced at me waiting for me to ask. “When did you first realize you liked girls?”

Stella smirked slightly. “I just had several crushes growing up and they were only ever girls. The first time I ever did anything with a girl was when I was 15, I met Caleb years before and we were best friends. I came out to him and he promised he’d always have my back, he’s the only person I’ve ever been out to, other than you and Roy recently. Back to the main point I met this girl five years ago a noble, Cody introduced us, she was really unimpressed with me. She accused me of being fake, I couldn’t really deny it in a way she's understand. Turns out she just liked me and was frustrated I never showed my true colors since she was so interested. We got close, f****d and then I had Caleb wipe her memory of me.”

I was shocked, and a little jealous. “You didn’t trust her?”

Stella shook her head. “She wanted me to come out, she was convince we’d be mates and it’d be easier to be accepted if we came out now. I’ve always felt selfish for what I did but she was delusional.”

Anxiety courses through me and I asked. “Did Caleb do that kind of thing for you a lot?”

Stella nodded and answered. “I’ve had s*x with a few different women and he’d wipe their memory each time. I didn’t feel the need to save myself since I don’t plan to be with a woman.”

“Do you plan to be with a man?”

She sighed. “Yes, Caleb said he’d fake being my mate and we’d be together in an open relationship unknown to my kingdom, my brother is handing me the crown. He feels like it’d be best for the kingdom and he doesn’t want to responsibility.” She scratched the top of her head. “And for some reason I do.” 

I put my hand on hers. “You really want to be queen?”

“Yah Astrid, leading is something I’ve always been good at, I love my kingdom and I want it to prosper, I look up to my own mother for all she’s done as Queen. Plus it’ll feel good to have being in the closet my whole life feel worth it.” She said.

I smiled, she sounded so passionate. “Is it worth sacrificing true love and being yourself? Living a lie? Are you sure your subjects deserve that?” 

She stayed looking away and clenched her fists. “That’s not the way I see it. Look this isn’t some tragic story on how I hate my life and am sick of putting up this Façade and want people to like me for me nor is this a story about how I want so desperately to fit in.” She crosses her arms. “I love my life, I have my fairytale princess life and I have Caleb for anything else. I like the picture perfect princess side of me, it’s still me, we all have layers, that’s who I am for my kingdom and I love it, that's why I'm so good at it, they don’t need to know the other side of me that’s for my personal life, work selves and personal selves are often completely different. Just know I’m not sacrificing being myself, I’m myself every day.” She explained.

“But if you’re yourself then why pretend to be straight? That’s not yourself.”

She chuckled. “You’re right but that’s the only way.” She sighed. “Enough about me, since you asked me, how’d you know you liked boys? Let me guess, my brother?”

I blushed. “Um yeah.”

“When was the first time you did anything with anyone?” She stared at me as she asked.

I got flustered. “I haven’t, strict parents, strict guards, your brother was the only boy I was alone with to do anything and he never noticed me in the way till two days ago.” I shrugged. “Why did you hate me when we met? When we were 12.”

She started laughing. “I didn’t hate you I had a crush on you.”

My eyes widened. “Really??”

She rolled her eyes. “And back then I was afraid I was making it obvious. Yes you were always around it was hard not to notice how adorable you were. I knew at a young age a lesbian relationship wouldn’t work for royals so I avoided you to get over you.”

I stared at her lips. “How was it to kiss a girl? I mean how was it just to kiss in general?”

Stella looked conflicted but in a split second she let loose. “I’ll show you.” She pulled me to her by my arm and our lips smashed together. Everyone always told me the way if felt to kiss your  mate was indescribable and now I understand why. Electricity coursed through time and for a second I felt love for Stella, actual passionate love. 

She tried to pull away but I pulled her back by her waist, we started to deeply make out. Our tongues began to dance with one another. We started moaning into each others mouth passionately.

Next thing I knew I was on the floor. “Stella?” I sat up and rubbed my head, she had shoved me into the ground.

“I couldn’t let it go any further, sorry If I hurt you I didn’t mean to you just didn’t let me pull away.”

I got up and suddenly I got real brave. “Because I didn’t want you to.”

She fixed her eyes on me. “It’s not that easy.”

I scoffed. “It is Stella.” I walked over to my sleeping bag. 

Stella clenched her fists. “We can’t just act like this isn’t going to end in a few days. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“It’s too late for that and you know it! You can’t just avoid the pain, right there on that log, Stella I was ready to embrace it. To get the best out of this.” I grabbed my sleeping bag and shook the dirt off of it. “I’m going to sleep somewhere far from you.”