All that you deserve

Bro’s night out..

James 

“Hey dude.” Alex, one of my closest friends, shouted, signaling me to the seat that he and my other best friends sat. Tonight, is our official unofficial bro night out; at coyote the first bar we ever visited decades ago. I smile to myself as I remember the fake IDs and the very drunk Alex, all of that seems like a lifetime ago. Before, I was hardened  before I was the eligible bachelor… the guy that all the lady’s wanted in bed but not in their hearts. I sighed realizing how sappy I have become. Walking towards my three best friends, Noah, Alex, and Ryan, every constant in my life. We grew up together, my mom partially raised them as her own and they are my brothers as much as they are my friends. We met in kindergarten and the rest was history. We were inseparable, apart from that one time in college when we thought we needed to give each other space to find “ourselves”. What a joke that was. We all came back a little jarred, but found solace in each other- I know sappy. 

I thought I found a new friend who got me until they stole my million dollar idea ,literally! And that said friend later became my competition then took the one woman I loved. Noah after our little find yourself experiment have a phobia of trying new things, Alex a once lovable dude was now a douche to anyone outside his trusted  circle, and Ryan lets just say after that year he joined the army and his once contiguous smile is now dimmed. But, all in all we love and still have each other and after a long day at work I look forward to relaxing with my brothers. 

“Dude what took you so long why are you always late?” Ryan said, glaring at me as I got close to the table.

“How can I be late when there is no set time to be here?” I replied while taking a seat.

“Hey Jammie!” Courtney, our regular  waitress, greets me, “ the usual?” she asks, while staring longingly at Ryan. We met Courtney four years ago on a night like this, it was her first day she was nervous and we put her at ease, and she is an unofficial member of our Friday night outing. Over the years her longing for Ryan has become noticeable, but Ryan fails to entertain the idea,but gets upset if another guy so much looks in Courtney’s direction. We asked him if he ever asked her out and he only replied before he shot down the conversation, “she deserves everything I can’t give to her.” I fear that one day someone will see the beauty in Courtney and he will be too late, but for now a little ribbing is  always fun.

“Hey beautiful..” I replied, earning a silent growl from Ryan and a glare. “ I will take anything you offer me, you know that,” I continued, looking at Ryan who is about to break the glass cup with his bare hands.

Courtney smiled at me, her unique  beauty with green eyes and dark hair shone brighter as she turned to look at Ryan shaking her head, willing him to calm down. Knowing that I am ribbing him, he gives one last glare before looking down at his cup exiting from our conversation,but while staying in tune.

“So your usual?” Courtney asked, I nodded as she took the empty glasses off the table and walked away.

“I don’t understand why you don’t just ask her out” Noah said, looking at Ryan.

“No” Ryan replied without looking up from his glass.

“No you won’t or…..”  Alex started but was cut off my the forceness in Ryan’s voice

“No we are not having this conversation”

“Man you are so whipped” Alex said chuckling.

Ryan glared at us but turned his heart in the direction where Courtney was standing at the bar and the love and longing that radiated from the look he gave her was a little heart breaking.

“Brother,” I said, looking at him, he looked at me nodding, understanding my silent words.

“How is your new project?” Noah asks, trying to change the subject.

“ I finalize the deal tomorrow.” I replied with a smile. I was one step closer in completing my empire and achieving all that I had promised that poor broken kid that life time ago. I have worked hard and sacrificed a lot but the fruit of my labor was rewarding.

“ Celebration at your house tomorrow.. provide the beer… I will bring the ladies.” Alex stated. 

“ I am not with one of your wild parties Alex…” I relay to him. Alex loves his beer as much as he loves his one night stand. He loves them, hurts them, and leaves type without the actual love, and I was ok with that, but recently not anymore. Now, I just want solitude and completion and I can’t find that with the girls Alex brings around. His girls were either too clingy or too carefree; I don’t know if he has a special spot where he gets these girls from, but he always finds  the “party type” and for some reason I do not feel that anymore…. I want more. 

He looks at me like I have grown too heads.Before, he could read into my internal struggles I hurried and stated “I was planning and going to see mom… you are all invited if you want…. she asked for you guys the last time we spoke..said she hasn't fed her boys in a while.” 

I got all their  attention by that, they love my mom as much as they love her cooking. They nod in agreement and promise to show up tomorrow.Courtney came by with food and drinks without looking at Ryan; he was a little perplexed by it I could tell by the little frow in his brow. After she left we settled into casual conversation about our jobs, dating life and lack therefore, and with plans to meet tomorrow at my moms house we ended another successful guy night out. Now home to an empty house just the way I like it …..think?