He Called Me Gorgeous. Disaster Engagement Series Book 2

Episode 5

He loves when you call him Francis for some reason” “really? Did he tell you he loves when I say his name?” That didn’t sound at all like Fran. I thought back to the day before when Carmela was telling me about Fran staying at Chris’s flat because he was upset that I had moved out and I thought she was just saying that to make me feel bad. I couldn’t help but wonder if Chris and Carmela were exaggerating. Fran was always so cool and they were painting a picture of him as if he was a love sick teenager. None of it made sense. “Gorgeous just go in there and tell him how you feel and then you can live happily ever after" I started to hop up and down because I was so nervous "what if he says he hates me and I smell and he never wants to see me again?" he let out a laugh "he won't Lydia, he's crazy about you" I wanted to believe him but something didn’t feel right “can you stay here, I will give you a thumbs up at the window if he says he likes me back and a thumbs down if he says I smell" Chris rolled his eyes. I knew I sounded mental but I was too nervous to care “ok Lydia" he said and I could tell he was kind of nervous too. I took a deep breath and ran up the steps to his front door and I remembered that I had my key with me. I looked at the little pink heart keyring Fran had bought me when I started staying with him. It said I Love You on it and hoped that he did. I decided to let myself in. I took a deep breath and looked back at Chris and he was smiling. Was I really doing this? Was I really going to tell him I wanted us to be together? I walked into his hallway and immediately felt like I was home. I felt like the past few days of feeling like an emotional wreak faded away. I wanted to be there and I wanted to be with him. And I suddenly went from questioning every detail to just being desperate to see him "Fran..Franco...Francis are you here honey? I need to speak to you" I shouted into the house but he didn’t reply. oh no don't say he's popped out. I'd only just got up the nerve to speak to him. I closed the door behind me just as he was coming out from the living room into the hallway "Gorgeous what are you doing here?" He looked a little shocked to see me and he looked like he hadn't slept in days, I felt so guilty, I wanted to grab his beautiful face and kiss him. He stepped forward but he didn’t really look happy to see me. But I had come this far and I wanted to lay my cards on the table “I need to tell you something..." I said. He was shuffling from one foot to another and it was something he had always done since we were little kids and I loved it. He was always so cool and he only done that when he was nervous and it gave me a little thrill to see him nervous to see me. Maybe Chris was telling the truth. Maybe he does love me. “Fran I need to speak to you... it’s just that...” then a girls voice screeched from the living room door "oh my god your Lydia Knight. I am obsessed with you." My mouth fell open. Who the hell was this and why was she here? She had long dark hair like me and a big pair of fake t**s and red lipstick. I felt like someone had stabbed me in the heart. I had only moved out a few days ago and he had replaced me already! I knew he didn't feel the same way about me, I couldn’t believe I had been so stupid to have thought that he had been sitting around devastated that I had moved out. I could kill Chris for getting my hopes up. I finally managed to give the girl a smile "Yeah, hi I'm Lydia" "oh my god" she screamed "I'm Lyndsey" I looked her up and down and she wasn't even pretty! How could this be happening? Inside I was heartbroken but I couldn’t let those pair of arseholes know how hurt I was. So I did what I always do, I fought back the tears and smiled. “are you Frans friend?" I asked in a friendly tone. I looked at him and he looked embarrassed. "Yes we’re just getting to know each other, if you know what I mean?" she said as she rubbed his arm and I wanted to slap her "can you wait in the living room whilst I speak to Lydia please" he said through gritted teeth, he looked really annoyed. I had clearly interrupted them and he was probably desperate to get rid of me so he could go back to screwing this b***h. But they were both fully dressed so nothing had probably happened yet but I still felt like s**t. I should never have let myself fall for him. How could I have been so stupid? “yeah alright handsome" she said, she did seem surprised by his aggressive tone but she just wondered into the living room. It was quiet between us because neither of us knew what to say. “I'm sorry about her..." I cut him off, I didn't want to hear it “no I’m sorry I interrupted your date” Then he asked “what was it you needed to speak to me about?” Oh s**t! I couldn’t think of anything to say. I knew I had to pull something out my arse. There was no way I was going to declare my love to him now that he was banging this stupid cow, especially because I was pretending to be cool with him being with this girl. I decided to wind him up. He had literally ruined my life by breaking my heart and I thought I would ruin his afternoon with his new girlfriend. “I just wanted you to know that I'm not leaving the band, the Big Man and I just had a silly argument” I said in a really patronizing voice. He looked confused “what are you talking about? What happened?” He asked and I knew I had hit a nerve with him. He clearly didn’t give a s**t about me but he loved his stupid band. I decided to try and annoy him even more "anyway the two of us have made up so everything is fine. I just thought I would let you know because I don’t want you to worry” he nodded his head “why were you arguing?” I couldn’t think of a quick enough lie so I told him the truth “the stupid bugger got it into his head that there was something going on with me and you. He thought we were seeing each other or something. I told him he was being daft and that we are just friends but he wouldn’t listen to me” “why would you argue about that? What if we were together? It wouldn’t be any of his business?” He said with a small smile creeping onto his face. His beautiful smile gave me butterflies. I stared at his mouth for a few seconds then managed to snap myself out of my daze. “I think he was angry because we work together and if anything happened between us and it didn’t work out then that would be the end of the band. But I told him that he was being an i***t and that nothing has or will ever happen between me and you but we ended up having a little argument, but it’s fine now” he looked a bit gutted when I said nothing could ever happen between us but I just think he wanted me to leave so he could get back to his new girlfriend “I’m glad you sorted it out” he said but he sounded really cold. “I felt awful that we had argued but anyway the Big Man has said I can stay with him because I'm still too scared to stay in the flat on my own " he looked really angry. That's the thing with Fran he always needed to feel as if he was in charge and I knew that if I told him I was depending on the Big Man instead of him it would kill him. "Lydia I told you to stay here with me, why did you move out of here just to move in with him?" his eyes were narrow and I knew he was livid. “I’ve took up enough of your time and the Big Man has been really sweet” this was all bullshit but I knew it would annoy him. Not because he wanted me all to himself but because he’s a control freak. He took a calming breath then gave me a weak smile and he put both his hands on my shoulders? “Please don’t stay with him Gorgeous. Just come back here. I will decorate the spare bedroom for you and I will give you loads of space. I’m sorry if I was suffocating you before,it won’t be like that if you move back in” “you weren’t suffocating me, I just thought it was time to let you get on with your own life” he looked into my eyes and I could feel myself melting but I had to remember that the girl he was sleeping with was in his living room waiting for him. So I shrugged his hands off me, "Why are you annoyed with me Gorgeous?” He asked. He had no idea how I felt about him and who much it had hurt me to find him with this girl. But I was still angry with him and I wasn’t doing a good job of hiding it. Just then Lyndsey came back out into the hallway "is everything ok?" She asked with a fake smile. So I gave her a huge fake smile back. My teeth were so clenched that I must have looked possessed "Yeah everything is fine thanks. I just popped in to give Franco something, we shouldn't be a minute" she gave me another over the top fake smile. So I gave her one back because there was no way I was about to be out smiled by this b***h, but she didn’t even seem to notice that we we were in the middle of a smiling war, the stupid cow. “oh right, I can't believe I'm actually meeting you, I'm such a big fan. I’m actually obsessed with you. I get my hair done at the same place as you and I always try to dress like you" By that point my face was in agony with all the smiling and I had to admit defeat. I looked her up and down again and that’s when I noticed that she was wearing the same exact outfit I had wore the week before when I had went to the cinema with Carmela. This girl was clearly a f*****g stocker. “When I had my boobs done I took a photo of you to the surgeon” she said snorting with laughter. She continued to gush over me when Fran interrupted her “can you wait in the f*****g living room please" Fran snapped at her. I knew him well enough to know when to back off and leave before he lost his temper, her face dropped "yeah ok" she said and she stomped into the living room and slammed the door. That was my cue to leave. I had successfully annoyed him and didn’t want to hang around for another second. But I wanted to really put the boot in on my way out the door “I came round here to give you this" I handed him back my key and the love heart key ring he had bought me when I first moved in. "What's this? I don't want this back" the look of anger slipped from his face and he just looked upset "well it belongs to you it's a bit broken but you can give it to Lyndsey" he rolled his eyes "Gorgeous come back. I want to talk to you" I turned my back on him and walked towards the door "No you’re clearly busy. I will speak to you when you have the time" he ran a couple of steps in front of me and put his hand over the door so I couldn’t open it. “Lydia please stay, I will get rid of her and we can talk” he looked as if he was desperate for me to stay and I wondered why. “what do you need to speak to me about?” I asked. He opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. “I better go and leave you and your girlfriend” “she’s not my girlfriend” he snapped “ok well I better go and let you bang your Lydia Knight lookalike” I pulled the door as hard as I could and slammed it behind me. Then I ran down the steps and Chris was still waiting outside and he was speaking on his phone to Carmela. "oh no babe she’s outside and she looks sad. I don't think it worked out, I will call you back later" he ended his call “so what happened?" He asked as he rubbed my arm to comfort me and I had to fight back the tears “he's sleeping with some girl, she's in there with him now" he looked shocked “oh Gorgeous I'm sorry, if I thought for one minute he was here with someone I would never have made you come round here, I'm so sorry Lydia" he gave me a hug. I could tell he genuinely felt bad for me. I think that Chris and Carmela had built it up in their heads and that they just really wanted ‘couple friends’ so they became determined for me and Fran to be together, but the truth was although I loved him he didn’t feel the same way. “thanks for the hug Chris I needed that, I wish you were still drinking, I really need to get drunk" "I need a drink too Gorgeous" he said and kissed the top of my head. "Promise me that you won't tell anyone that I came here to tell him how I feel. I couldn’t stand the embarrassment. I will just try to stay out his way until I get over all this" he stroked my arm "ok Gorgeous, whatever you say" and that was that. I had never been so hurt before in my life. Not even when Michael left for Australia or when Stefan put me in hospital. This was something else and I wondered if I would ever get over it.

Chapter 11

It was the night of the Big Man’s party and none of us were in the party mood. His flat was swarming with fabulous people but I didn’t feel fabulous at all. He had hired a DJ and a caterer but we all had faces like a smacked arse. Firstly the Big Man still wasn't himself. He’d got really drunk the night before the party and I had to stay with him. He was being sick and he was really upset, but I had no idea what it was all about. He was actually crying at one point. I could hardly make out a word he was saying. When he woke up the next day he said he was going back into therapy. I think talking about his brother with me had rattled him. When I got to the party I couldn't even look Fran in the eye. He was sitting nursing a whiskey and he looked like he was feeling really sorry for himself. I know Fran didn't really smile a lot at the best of times but he looked like he was going to burst into tears. I wondered what he had to feel sad about. I had went from feeling heartbroken about Fran sleeping with that girl to feeling embarrassed about nearly telling him how I felt and now I wanted to kill him for leading me on. Chris wasn't himself either he said he felt bad about what had happened at Frans house and Carmela couldn't make the party and he was struggling without her...and without alcohol. The four of us were miserable. But on the plus side I was wearing my new red dress and Frans friend Tommy couldn't keep his eyes off me, much to Frans annoyance, which I loved. I seen Fran giving him the evil eye every time Tommy looked at me. The party was in full swing and the place was full of people but none of us could even keep a smile on our faces. I stepped out onto the balcony for a cigarette. It was the first time since that night with Stefan that I had been out there and it felt really weird. I looked over the edge and down at the ground. I couldn’t imagine what it would have been like if he would have thrown me over. The thought was frightening. He would have killed me and that’s when I released that I needed to stop dwelling on all the bullshit with the Fran because life is too short. I should have been thinking about what's important, because although they had all been driving me nuts recently, they had all been there for me when I needed them most and that's what's important in life. I needed to stop being angry and try and get our friendships back on track. I leaned against the wall deep in thought when Tommy appeared in front of me. "Alright girl" he gave me a kiss on the cheek. "Hi Tommy" I said trying to sound enthusiastic but it just sounded fake "you ok?" He asked lighting his cigarette "yeah I'm fine" he gave me a big smile "you look stunning" he was such a flirt. "Fran ain't happy cause I keep staring at you, I had to tell him to calm down" I shrugged my shoulders “I think he's had a bad day. Just work stuff, I'm sure he's just in a bad mood, anyway I'm going to go upstairs to bed, I'm tired and this party's s**t" he let out a laugh "well that's hit the nail on the head hasn't it, why don't I take you up stairs and tuck you in" he was such a ladies man and although I had always fancied him on London Streets I found it a bit of a turn off "tell me something Tommy? You’re a gorgeous looking guy but do those lines actually work on anybody?" I said with a smile "What do you mean?" "I mean has any woman ever said 'oh Thomas please can you take me to bed and tuck me in" he started to laugh "do you know what? It does actually work on a few of them" I laughed "well it won't work on me" he stepped in really close and almost whispered "that's because you’re a good girl" the hair on my arms stood on end. God he is sexy, a mix of his east-end London accent and his beautiful eyes. I could have grabbed him and kissed his face, he was so hot. I had to snap myself out of it "you my friend are a chocky cockney" "and you my friend are a little princess. I better get back inside, I can see the Big Man and Fran staring at me, they've both warned me to stay away from you and they don't look happy" he said with a little smile. "I don't want to get on the wrong side of them two" I could feel my temper boil up from the pit of my stomach. Why were they telling hot guys to stay away from me? I was in no way on the look out for a boyfriend, in fact it was the furthest thing from my mind, but how dare they interfere in my life. Fran was sleeping with girls in the bed he had shared with me and the Big Man thought I needed therapy because I was damaged goods, and now they were both acting as if they owned me, I was so angry and I wanted to slap them. Tommy broke my thoughts, "you alright girl?" "what do you mean they have warned you to stay away from me?" His face fell "I didn't mean to upset you darling, I just mean they said you're off limits" I had to get out of there quick because I was going to explode, who do they think they are! I put out my cigarette "I better go Tommy" I marched off the balcony towards the elevator. Tommy followed me “stay for another drink princess" I just kept walking “no thanks" Fran jumped to his feet and ran towards me "where are you going? I need to speak to you" he sounded really pissed off. Why was he angry? I just ignored him then Big Man ran over "don't go Gorgeous. Stay for a while" I pressed for the elevator "I'm going home, this party’s crap" They were all chiming in asking me to stay. When the lift finally came I stepped inside and pressed the button. Fran stood with his hand over the door so it wouldn't close "Gorgeous stay, I need to speak to you." They had me surrounded, the three of them stood and stared at me but I didn't have anything else to say, Fran seemed really angry "oh f**k off, Gorgeous" I said in a sarcastic voice and I rolled my eyes. I heard the Big Man laugh as the doors closed. Well that's them told. I got upstairs and Stacey was crying at my kitchen table. It was the first time I had seen her all night "Hello honey" I said gently "Hi Lyds" she said through her tears "Are you ok honey?” I sat down next to her and took her hand "whats wrong?” She let out a big sob "I told Jamie that I love him, and he said he doesn't feel the same way about me" I felt awful for her, he had only been using her for s*x and anybody could see that, but she was still heartbroken and I knew exactly how she was the feeling. I was just lucky that Fran hadn't used me. He had just flirted and made me feel special and looked after me. It was me that had took it the wrong way but I was still angry and heartbroken "I know how you feel honey. I went over to Fran’s the other day to tell him how I feel about him and he was there with some stupid girl that he’s sleeping with" she looked totally surprised "I don't know what I'm more shocked at Lyds. That he was there with someone else or that you’re finally able to admit how you feel about him" I was so sad "well Stacey all I feel now is embarrassed and angry" “me too Lyds” I wiped a huge tear away from her eye "you know I'm always here for you, no matter what happens you can always talk to me" she was sniffing and crying and I was desperate for her to stop "thanks Lydia, but I don't know what I'm going to do. He was really horrible to me, he said he doesn't even like me" I was mentally counting to ten because I wanted to go back down stairs and rip their throats out in front of the whole party. "I can't live here anymore, not with him down stairs, I'm going to be homeless" poor Stacey, I knew she was being really dramatic but it was no different to me storming out of the party. "You're not moving out of here, stop being silly, you can stay here for as long as you want honey. I like having you here. Tell you what, why don't you decorate your bedroom to make it your own" I gave her a big hug "thanks Lydia I feel so much better now" but a bit of decorating wasn’t going to make me feel better. There was only one thing that would help me and that was running away “I don't know about you Stacey but do you fancy a holiday? Because if I need to stay here for another minute I'm going to kill one of those little shits" she dried her eyes, "yeah that sounds good Lyds. Maybe we can meet some new guys, yeah that would show them wouldn't it? " she said with a smile. "Yeah Stacey why not" I said with a little laugh. But the thought of anyone other than Fran made my skin crawl.

Chapter 12

Stacey and I decided to go to St Bart's for our holiday and we left the day after the Big Man’s party. We literally threw a few bikinis into a suit case and ran to the airport before Fran or the Big Man could stop us. The holiday was fabulous. The hotel was beautiful and the balcony looked straight onto the sea and the views were stunning. It had the most beautiful crystal clear water and white sand beaches. We drank cocktails with breakfast every morning and worked on our tans. We would swim in the sea and eat delicious food and I felt like I was in heaven. There was a few hot guys on the beach but they were only interested in other hot guys. Stacey and I laughed the whole time and it was the perfect distraction from all the mess at home with the boys, but unfortunately we had to go home at some point. On the last day reality set in. I was going to have to face Fran and although we had been away for 3 weeks I had started to feel awful for how I had treated him. He had no idea I was falling for him and it wasn't his fault he didn't feel the same way. I also felt bad for abandoning the Big Man when he was in such a mess before I left. Even though he had the boys to lean on I still felt guilty. When we got back to my flat it was about two o’clock in the morning and I was exhausted. I dragged the luggage out of the elevator and Stacey was standing watching me which was typical of Stacey. Stacey was yawning her head off "You ok honey" I asked “yeah I just want to go to bed" she walked into the kitchen as I struggled with the luggage and then she shouted "Lydia can you come here please" I decided to drop the luggage and ask Harry to help me in the morning. I went into the kitchen to see what she was shouting about and Fran and the Big Man were standing at the kitchen counter with faces like thunder. I was shocked that they were both there so late "Hi" I said rather shyly, I hadn’t spoke to either one of them since we had went away. The break had done me good but when I seen the concern on both of their faces the feeling of guilt washed over me. I should never left without telling them. The Big Man jumped up and ran past Stacey and hugged me "you look really well Gorgeous” he said. Fran sat upright on his stool "you ok Gorgeous?" I just managed to say "yeah" Stacey looked at them both and turned and gave me a kiss on the cheek "I'm going to bed" and she stormed off to her room. I looked at the Big Man but he just smiled and said "you look incredible Lydia" he was clean shaven and had a bit of spark back in him. "I'm sorry for leaving without saying goodbye, but Stacey needed to get away" I decided to blame her for my dramatic departure "Big Man she told me that you and her had words at your party, maybe you should go and speak to her" he shrugged his shoulders "why what's her problem? It was only a couple of shags and she made out as if it was love at first sight or something" I rolled my eyes "for god sake Big Man, she's heartbroken at the way you treated her" he looked really confused “I'm sure she’ll get over it" I gave him a big hug "can you please smooth it over with her. She’s my friend and I don't want it to be awkward between you, just go and apologize and let her down gently this time, please for me" I said in my best little girl voice that I knew always worked on him "ok Gorgeous, I will apologize, but only for you’re sake" I gave him a kiss on the cheek "thanks Big Man" he gave me a huge smile “So why are you guys here so late?" I asked. Fran cleared his throat "Carmela told us you were coming home…