The Definition of Love

Dear Phoenix Academy Acceptance Committee, When I was 8 years old, I asked my Grandmother what love was. We were very close, and she was the wisest person I knew. She told me, “Love is a strong force of attraction and affection between a man and a woman.” That confused me because I loved her, and I loved my mother and they were both women. She explained that that was love but not “true love” as she called it. That only increased my confusion. I wondered why a woman couldn’t have true love with another woman. When I was 12, I was more confused than ever because I thought I was in love with a girl. I didn’t tell anyone about my feelings, not even my best friend Mindy. I asked my Grandmother if true love could be with a girl and she sighed and told me that only troubled people fall in love with the same gender. I learned the word homosexual that day. I asked her more about people who were homosexual, but she did not speak kindly about them. What she did tell me sticks with me to this day. I thought maybe I was broken because I liked a girl. When I started high school Mindy and I became closer than ever because she opened up to me that she was bisexual. I was honestly relieved; I didn’t feel alone anymore. I told her I thought I was a lesbian, and she was glad that I understood what she was going through. We came out to our families the next week. My parents seemed disappointed and sad, like I had made a terrible major life decision. They didn’t understand it wasn’t a decision it was just who I was. My grandmother no longer came around, my siblings blamed me. Mindy’s mom and dad were fairly supportive about her coming out, but her extended family was not so understanding. Everyone at school assumed we were a couple. It was funny at first but then the bullying started. It seemed like nobody took our side and things escalated as the year continued. That summer Mindy tried to take her own life. I knew how she felt because I was struggling as well. Our parents agreed we needed counseling, so they sent us to a counselor who thought there was something wrong with our brains. He only made things worse and a few months later I overdosed on cold medicine in an attempt to end my life. Our parents found us a therapist who specializes with l***q+ individuals. She is a great therapist and I really like her, but my sophomore year of high school was so terrible that I had to move schools midway through the year and so did Mindy. The bullying had gotten to the point where I was missing school, skipping due to the harassment. When we switch schools, we thought it would be better, but it wasn’t. Our therapist told us about The Phoenix Academy and our parents agreed it would be the perfect learning environment. I hope you will consider accepting me (and Mindy). I think it will give me the opportunity to be myself and begin to learn and understand what love really means to me. I want to find my own definition of love. Sincerely, Karissa Rose Carwyn