The Wolf Inside

Understanding is useless without Comprehension

Pain flushes in Gun's eyes as soon as he understands the situation we are in again, as I once again rejected him.

I felt my eyes are burning as I felt a twitch in between my legs, the arousing flame I had inside as I perceived the strong sweet scent that always pressurized my mad Dog insanely gone crazy. We haven't talked but our body was resisting the fact we are rejecting the heat right now. Damn it! Without our consciousness, slowly our warm bodies approached as if they were longing for the heat that only he could burn. I want to stop and again refuse this heat, but the raging feelings that stir the emotions are like a blazing fire that is slowly burning in my heart at the same time as I caress his soft cheeks and as the time bringing our faces closer amid the growing tension between the two of us, in a trice our eyes met and each of us seemed to be drowning in the burning tension Gun cared but not me as my confusion grew.

I strongly pushed him and he fell down on the floor and yelped again even after I punched him a while ago. I don't know why I am so angry! I am angry. With who? I'm not entirely sure about my feelings.

Before I left the room, the words he gave me made me more in pain that I wanted my heart to be numb not to feel this... Anger? neither Pain?

"Did you even dare to think if I am okay with things like this?... Cause I too did not dare because all I know is that I need you."

"But why act like I just accused you of a crime, Nix?!"

I faced Gun passing me and one final hesitant pain was filled in one glance and I left him in pain in his room, Luckily his family is not home, I do not know if his family already knew that he and I are mates. I once never thought of questioning how the deities work but as soon as I knew my mate was my best friend it was very hard for me to accept it, and I don't know why. What will other people think of me and our family if they'll know?

As soon as I reached my room I immediately jump into bed and sink my body with heavy sighs escaping in my mouth.

"But I'm an alpha. I'm obligated to be the leader of our pack" I said to myself

"As an alpha, I should be at least be responsible, right?" I ask randomly

to think of the circumstances an omega will experience having a male mate is not in their vocabulary too, and they have very high pride and attitude. I'm lucky gun did not ignore and rejected me but I was the one who has rejecting him. I'm being irresponsible.

"I reckon, I need time to be steadily prepared. I might one day accept him fully as my mate right? or not? well, he is really a big need if I have my Heat Calling me.

I abruptly sat down to where I was laying earlier,

I JUST DON'T WANT TO BE DIFFERENT.

Gun kept insisting that a male-to-male relationship is not a bad thing, not a mistake? does this make us different? Well, he really fulfills my desires especially in s*x, not to mention whenever we interlock our eyes like there talking without us understanding it. I whipped the air on my bed because of the confusion of my mind. Does this make me disgraceful in front of my parents or my family if they'll know that my mate was a fuckin' guy? I again smashed my body to the soft mattress in my bed laying there wanting to be eaten by the bed.

I was puzzled out by a knock on the door neither shouting nor just calling my name to let her in. I got up and walked to the door to open the door knocker, exactly when my door opened my mother's face appeared as if she was worried she immediately asked me if I was okay

"What's wrong? are you okay?" she asked me and softly brushed my hair but I avoided her gaze instead of answering her question because I am not sure if I'm okay.

"if you continue to avoid my gazes I will call Gun to come here and I'll let him kill you" she threatened me jokingly, but that sudden joke surprises me and made my heart pound so fast

"YOU KNEW?!" I reacted exaggeratedly but she only patted me on my shoulders while shaking her head

" knew what?" she responded suspiciously because she denies it like she was caught kissing dad in an act, still acting like a child. I just looked at her seriously not giving her an escape

" Okay okay " she gave up and chuckled

" I don't know but Gun's mother and I concluded the first time you met gun, you two might be the one for each other," she said.

SO WAS I THE ONLY ONE WHO'S CLUELESS?

''more like you're lacking common sense" Mom teases

"Mom!!" I backfired But why does it feel she's okay with it? I can tell her anything right? She's my mother he'll listen to me

"Mom... am I different?" I asked quietly

"What? of course not!" she said comfortingly as she half hugged me because we were sitting down with each other.

" Not because you are fated to a male mate, it does not mean you are different by flaws or what, the judgemental mouth is everywhere it is a given that's how ugly the society is but the love that Gun wants you to also feel is so beautiful and powerful nothing and no one can beat it, and on the other side many alphas out there have a male mate too right? you know that. *sigh* All you need to do is to slowly accept and have a broader view in love don't base it on gender and more importantly ask yourself, know what your heart desire especially now that you know whom you are destined to be together with." she pauses looking at me, my Mother's eyes is one of the most comforting zone, her emerald eyes that are lightly brownish is like a nature that made me help relax my mind.

" son, he is a precious one, Gun is also soon to be a leader in their pack and so are you. He'll be the Luna. The both of you have responsibilities in your pack, self-responsibilities, and responsibilities to your mates just like your relationship back then when you knew nothing about your mate, your best friend."

'That's way too different mom' I argued in my head. Being friend and mate is different.

" You were strangers but you helped him stop from crying and held him. You did not know each other the first time you met, and you became friends because you knew you were happy to be with Gun. Slowly and solemnly learning each other by heart that is why you grew together to be right here now, but what lacks the both of you are understanding, adding compression and communication, because Nix, Understanding these things is useless if you are not listening wilfully and in the heart." mom explains patting me in my back.