My Triplet Lovers

This Is All In My Head!

After she shook my hand and gave me a warm smile, we all went back.

Although there was another thing I was wondering. I asked Luke about it as soon as we got back, while Maya wasn't looking, I asked him...

“If you two were childhood best friends before and you knew each other..

How come you didn't recognize her the many times I've pointed to her before when we talked about her if you already knew each other for years?”

He replied...

“Of course I wouldn't recognize her because it was 6 to 7 years like I said since we've seen each other and we were quite young so unless we had a picture of each other or really good memory then we'd remember.”

And gave me a look as if what he said was already so obvious that he wouldn't really need to mention and elaborate more on it.

I mean yeah, it did make sense and yeah, both of them are quite forgetful.

- 12 noon -

I followed Maya as soon as possible so she wouldn't think I was “ghosting” her again.

We got in and no one was there yet 'cause most of them arrive between 12:30 or near 1 pm so I was sure we were alone.

So since that was the case I decided to talk to her again to clear more things out to her.

I was dead set to make things work out again and chose to break the ice with the things I was about to say.

So I took a deep breath in then said it..

“Hey... Maya?” I started as casual as I could get. I also tried so hard to not let my anxious voice show so it wouldn't bother Maya so much again knowing how she over thinks.

I paused to look at her if she was gonna answer but it looks like she was waiting more on what I was about to say.

So then I continued before I hesitated and flaked out again.

My next words were...

“Can we start over?”

“What do you mean?” looking bewildered when she replied.

I answered more clearly and specific this time.

“Can we start over? as friends this time?”

I replied and waited for an answer.

Took a little while so I added some stuff so she can see that I still really wanna be friends.

Distance won't be a problem to us as friends, but as lovers...

I don't think it'll last...

Being friends is good enough for me for now.

“Can we be friends now like for real? I think we rushed things so, in the end, we crashed..." I added.

Sounds over the top, I know but there's really no telling what'll happen next. I also chose to be somewhat poetic? I don't know if it was poetic or dramatic 'cause Maya knows more of those stuff than I do since she writes poems too but never really entered them in contests nor showed it to others.

I few more minutes, still no response and once again, I felt quite fearful on what her response might be.

But she looked like she was thinking of it more this time of which might be the right decision. So I just waited.

Nervous yet patiently waited.

Soon, she was ready to tell me what her decision was. I anticipated what that answer could be. Hoping she'd say yes.

“Of course! as long as there aren't anymore lies and you won't just leave me there hanging again, but as a friend this time. ok?"

I was relieved when I heard her answer, I didn't wanna keep her waiting and assured her with just two words.

“I promise”

After I said those words to her, she then put one of her hand out towards me hoping to get a handshake as a formal way of agreeing to be just friends again but instead, I went in for a tight hug ‘cause to be honest, she gives the warmest hugs.

I didn't care if she hugged me back too but I'm glad she did.

We hugged longer than expected, but like I said, I really didn't care since no one was around.

it probably lasted 10 minutes or so because a few minutes later, we heard footsteps getting near our room.

I wasn't gonna let go but Maya did since she said if the others saw us, they might get the wrong idea.

As we sat down, we did nothing but smile at each other. It's been a while since I've felt this free and happy again.

Around 12:30 pm, some of our classmates started to come in.

The whole day went on normally as it did before but better.

After we resolved our little conflict, I felt less pressured and I can finally ease off the guilt that kept weighing me down for weeks.

It was 4 pm, basically time for us to go home. All was well but I realized, I wasn't really telling her the whole truth...

I still liked her, probably even more now.

But I can't just tell her that I still liked her ‘cause I was the one who asked to be friends again first.

I guess that's a truth to be revealed for another day.

I'd lose her either way anyways...

So I hid what I felt once again.

I just looked over Maya just to check if she's feeling better now that we've resolved this problem.

She had her eyes closed and her hand clenched over her chest.

I got worried. Not too long though, she opened her eyes again but stared blankly at the wall

At that point, I knew I had to do something because something could possibly not be right here.

I started waving my hand literally in front of her face and yes, her eyes were still wide open.

Since it looked like she didn't notice, I tried asking her if everything was fine.

“Hey... Are you ok?" I worriedly asked and near her ear as well so she could hear me better even if I was just right beside her.

It looked like she noticed but still took her a while to reply.

She looked like she was thinking of an answer really hard but she eventually did respond.

“I'm fine” Maya replied and gave out a forced smile.

I was a hundred percent sure it was forced ‘cause I could tell when it was real or not.

I knew something was wrong but I didn't want to get a lie because she'd lie how she really felt even if we were okay.

I didn't want to force her and feel more pressured by it so I let it slide this time.

“ok” I answered, and she looked like she was confident that I believed that.

Yet a little relieved because I didn't ask too much of what really troubled her.

*The school bell rang*

Everyone already stood up yet Maya was still sitting and as if she doesn't know what's going on around her, possibly too busy with her thoughts...

But she realized what was happening after a few calls from our teacher.

She still didn't got up though as if she was still processing what to do.

After I got my bag, I decided to carry her upwards so she stood up before our teacher scolded her.

Before I let her go, I tightly hugged her again because she seems more relaxed whenever she gets one.

Even after we were all there waiting to leave the room, I talked to her again and assure her that whatever's going on inside her head, I'm always prepared to listen and be there.

So I told her all that.

“Hey, you can tell me whatever's bugging you. I'm your friend now after all and there's nothing's wrong with this"

I told her with a voice I know that can calm her down.

She didn't answer but hugged me back, that's all the answer I needed because of how tight she held me.

But even so, without a verbal answer, I once more got worried because it seemed serious that she can't even talk about it.

I asked her without asking too much because I noticed I ask too much when I'm anxious.

“Are you ok? Are you scared? I feel your heart pounding fastly" I asked while grabbing her shoulders and I looked at her expecting even a short answer.

“I guess I'm just tired, that's all it is really" she replied and once again, formed an obviously forced out smile.

I wasn't gonna let this one go again.

So I asked to be sure.

“Are you sure?”

She started looking worried as if I just caught her lying, which I technically did-

“Yeah, I'm fine. Don't worry about me"

then grinned from ear to ear this time not looking even a little bit forced and looked real this time so since I trust her, I just believed it this time.

“Ok, I trust you" I replied.

Hugged her again because it always seems like it's never enough.

We then went out together yet after we passed through the gate, we went on different paths.

She went home after that and I didn't ask her if she wanted to come along with me so I could walk with her to go home since her house wasn't that far and my car was gonna pick me up at 5 pm.

Luke wasn't with me because he was practicing something for a school show or something, probably a club.

I really wanted to run back to her and tag along with her to go home to make sure she's safe. I mean, nothing was stopping me from doing it except for one thing I couldn't forget.

I couldn't get the thought out of my mind that bothered me earlier...If it was possible that...

That we could be more than just friends...

“Just a single thought can ruin it all,

Between our true feelings, there's always a wall”