My Triplet Lovers

Through Her Eyes

As soon as I got home, my aunt approached me and asked...

“How was school today?” She asked yet still sounding concerned specially because of the way I've been acting these past few days. She waits for me to answer so I didn't hesitate and just told her.

“It was better today” I was so happy that I couldn't contain it that it showed through the look on my face of how happy I was.

She finally looked relieved after hearing what I said.

I went straight upstairs after that to change into my clothes.

I lay in bed after that and had a huge grin on my face the whole time and it never seems to go away.

I guess it's ‘cause everything between us now has been resolved but I can't help but think about my other feelings towards her too.

I wonder if she sees me the same, I guess I'll never know until she tells me.

- Maya's POV -

After Troy and I started rebuilding our friendship again, I felt more at ease knowing I'm not the only one who cares about our friendship.

The thing is, it's not only because I like him that I want to remain friends and close to him but because once I get attached, it will awfully feel painful for me to let go.

As ridiculous as it would sound to some why I became like this, it's still the truth, I guess it started when I was younger.

- 8 year old Maya -

First day of school

“Hmmm...” I looked around to look for my friend but I couldn't see her even after the class started.

“I guess she's in another class, I'll get to be with her anyways at recess or at the end of school” I optimistically thought to myself.

At recess, lunch, and after school, I checked all the classrooms that was in 2nd grade.

She wasn't in any of those classes.

“Oh well, I guess I'll see her tomorrow!”

Days and months after that, I still looked for her everyday not until my grandma who knew her well came to visit, I asked about my friend then she said...

“She already left as soon as she finished 1st grade”

My little heart crumbled... but I refused to believe it.

I just kept telling myself that she must be still here so everyday I looked over and over again to all the classrooms and even the 3rd graders thinking she might've went up a grade level 'cause I knew she was smart too.

For years and years, I stayed in denial. I guess that's why I never moved on 'til now.

If I just moved on, I probably wouldn't be so clingy to people...

I mean, this isn't the only time it happened but at least the other one got to say goodbye.

- Maya at 6th grade -

Everything was normal for the few months since school started not until halfway through.

My friend since 3rd grade came at the end of school to say goodbye because she was already leaving.

Everyone immediately went to her and hugged her right away, they were a lot.

I was the only one who wasn't there hugging her and saying goodbye yet. I was there standing still looking at her, she looked right back at me and the way she moved her eyes were as if she was telling me to come in for a hug.

I still stood still there and was shocked, confused, and hurt at the same time, it was a little too much for me but I knew she was leaving either way so I just had to hold back my tears as I was coming to her for a hug.

But as soon as we hugged, my tears flowed down as if it was a never ending rain.

She saw me cry and hugged me tighter.

After that she left and waved goodbye to us.

My tears kept falling even after that.

A more sad part was that was the same year my grandfather died, he's somewhat related to why I stay attached or clingy to people.

Since he was in a different country, we only ever get to talk through calls, cards, and letters we gave to each other.

He always promised that we'd see each other one day in person and I held on to that promise ever since I was younger but unfortunately he died and I can only ever see him in pictures but never in person.

It left a hole in my heart knowing how special he was to me...

Every person I get attached to gets a special place in my heart but once they leave, it leaves scars too.

I don't know why it has always hurt me ever since.

I guess I gotta get over it or else every little thing will hurt me, even something as someone not saying goodbye to me or just leaving me behind.

I mean I am older now, I might as well be a different person.

I breath in and slowly exhaled out because that topic always seems to make me tear up whenever I mention it.

It may not be a big deal for others but it'll be different to everyone, it just hurts that much that it made me scared of people leaving without saying goodbye.

Probably why I just distanced myself from Luke years ago as well...

Knowing how painful it feels for me for someone to just leave without me knowing hurt too much that I decided that I just disappear from people I was close to, one of which was Luke.

All I thought is that he wouldn't notice if I was gone out of thin air.

I didn't want to be the one to hurt first so I guess I chose to leave them before they leave me...

I most likely am or have been a jerk too to Luke for disappearing out of nowhere before too. He was a very close friend of mine too anyway. Gotta explain that to him too, I mean he doesn't look mad but I gotta make sure... I have to apologize at least... 'cause if he thought like me, that would have actually hurt.

I was gonna look for his account to talk to him but apparently he already sent a message and friend request too.

I'm surprised he found it so quickly.

“Hey! May! Is it really you? or should I call you Maya?”

Those were the first words he used on his message. I'm still quite off about it or somehow slightly awkward because I knew what I did and also because it's been years since we actually talked...

But I tried to sound undisturbed as much as possible.

I know he's goofy and all but I don't know who he is now, we both changed at some point at least.

Although I do miss being friends with him so I replied as soon as I could.

“Hey! nice seeing you again.

You can call me anything you're comfortable with, it will be ok”

I replied.

He responded as soon as he could and said...

“Cool, I'll call you Maya too so there isn't any confusion when we're with Troy”

I wanted to end it there so I could get time to adjust to seeing him again.

“Good! gotta go for now

bye”

After I sent him that message, he seemed to have understood and didn't reply afterwards.

I know I haven't explained myself to him yet but it still seems too soon because we've only just seen each other earlier.

Just baby steps for now 'til I could tell him why I disappeared out of nowhere before and never got to tell him why.

Speaking of disappear, I haven't gotten my answer from Troy yet why he did it.

I mean, I never asked or more importantly, I never got to finish asking him so might as well try now?

I checked if he was online right now, unfortunately not.

So I decided to do some other things and waited for him to go online.

Every 5 minutes I checked, I really need to know 'cause the curiosity is killing me each minute that passes by without getting my answer.

Around 25 minutes later, the green dot at the bottom of his name lit up which meant he was online.

I right away chatted and asked of course if he was busy because if he was, I wouldn't really get a clear answer if his attention is split in to two or more.

He replied and said he wasn't doing anything at the moment, I went straight forward with him as to what I wanted to know.

“Can I ask you now? about why you ignored me... you said you had a reason, I'm all ears

I won't judge whatever it is, I'll try to understand”

He saw my message afterwards and he was typing, then he erased it then typed again then erased and over and over again. Still the same.

I gave him time to think of what to say, I might look impatient to him if I didn't wait.

Also, I would know whether he's typing or not because in the bottom left corner, you'll see a bubble with three dots if he was typing and it obviously means they erased what they said when the bubble is gone.

“I... I can't... I don't know how to explain it...”

He replied.

I was about to tell him it's fine if he can't tell me yet but apparently he wasn't finished with what he said yet.

He continued with...

“I can't say it here... it's better if I explain in person if...that's alright with you?”

It wasn't a problem to me, I could wait.

I guess...

“Sure. when though?”

I asked.

“Since we've got classes tomorrow, is it alright if I tell you tomorrow around lunch so we get more time?”

He answered.

“Sure. Don't worry, whatever it is, I'll understand, I won't get mad if that's what you're worried about”

I answered and assured him.

“Ok :)” He replied, I guess he's fine 'cause of the smiley.

We didn't talk after that, I guess we were both preparing ourselves to what he will be revealing to me, what I'll be feeling after he says whatever he had to tell me. I gotta be ready knowing how emotional I get.

Hopefully it isn't that bad like he's got a condition or something.

He was online the whole time I was online too but neither of us started to talk about a different topic, I guess what I asked is pressuring both of us so I decided to stay relaxed and probably know more about him.

I went through his account to see his pictures and what were the things he liked and loved doing. He doesn't post much but the person posting on his timeline is most likely his aunt since I saw her twice when we went to go get him and the ride back home.

The more I scroll down, the more I wanted to know more about him.

He was just so fascinating and interesting that I couldn't help but want to know more, I hope one day I do have a chance to know him specially in a deeper way...

“The truth is what I seek, Am I ready?

Things crumble, Everything won't stay steady”