My Triplet Lovers

August : Untold Thoughts of You

I sighed deeply and lean at the window and stare at the cars passing by while a ray of sunshine passes through my face with a warm feeling and joy it gave me as it quickly disappeared as buildings block its ray of sunshine. This warm feeling reminds me of Troy, whenever he's there beside me, I feel a warm comfy feeling and when he's gone the feeling just fades away but not the memories. I thought I could distract my mind from thinking of Troy but somehow in every little thing, I find a way of thinking of him. He's somehow everywhere I look. I glance back at him and look how peacefully asleep he is, I found myself smiling at him just by doing nothing. I knew it was genuine happiness I was feeling when I looked at him.

I thought there was nothing else that was gonna happen because he was asleep but I was wrong, completely wrong!

He started to lean closer to me and he formed his lips like he was about to kiss someone, Could that someone be me?

I was shocked by what was happening, he didn't stop leaning closer to me and I didn't stop moving backwards until I didn't have any more space to move back to, It was a dead end.

As he gets closer and closer to me I look at him and get tempted to kiss him too.

I lean forward to him and as I close my eyes and get ready for possibly my first kiss with the person I love.

As we get closer to each other, our noses began to touch and I could feel both of our heartbeats in sync but some part of me tells me this is wrong... this should only happen when he's aware of what's happening and if he feels the same...

I move my head away from his but as I said, there was no more room to move back to. It was a dead end.

I didn't know if I should pull him towards me or push him away.

I was so confused! This is wrong but I want it to happen...

While we began to get closer again, his face was so close to mine that I could feel his eyelashes moving...

Oh wait, he's waking up then! but yet he's still so close to me. I see his eyes open with that sparkling look in his eyes until we were both looking at the eyes of each other in a deep gaze.

He slowly smiled at me as his gaze gets even deeper. For a moment I felt like time stopped for us to have this moment. It made me love that time I spent with him even more.

As we continue to stare at each other, his uncle interrupts and tells us...

" *ahem* Sorry to interrupt your moment there but I'd just like to say that we're here" He sounded confused informing us yet a wide smirk had formed along his lips as he looked our way.

Troy tries to make the situation normal and not awkward by asking...

"H-how long was I out?" He calmly asked.

It's as if nothing happened, I mean he was awake when he saw both of our faces were about to meet.

Seriously he didn't feel nervous or anything? was that just a joke? But seems like he doesn't remember a thing which probably meant he thought it was still a dream. To break the ice I answered his question.

"Not too long, about 20 minutes or so" I answered yet I couldn't avoid sounding confused but it seems like he didn't mind it.

I immediately get out of the car so I could absorb the fresh air outside and not the awkward atmosphere inside the car. For a moment I felt relaxed as the warm breeze brushes off my shoulder but that slight relaxed feeling ended quickly as Troy was behind me making me nervous as usual.

At the coffee shop, everything seemed to be back to normal. Even when we were playing in the playground.

I will never forget this day!

This is the best day ever!

- end of the coffee day memory -

Continues reminiscing back at school when Monday came.

I hate going back to those memories. It hurts me to think that it's all in the past now, nothing but memories. There's nothing I could change since they're just memories now, all I could do is look back and see how happy I was before everything changed between Troy and I.

Tomorrow's the last day of August, will things change by then?

All I know is that I won't give up 'til I find out why this happened. I won't force him though so he won't push me away even more. I'll be right here waiting for him 'til things get back to the way they were. Now that I think about it more, it doesn't matter if it goes back to the way everything was before... All I want are things to get better again even if it'll be different. I just can't lose him.

He's too important to me, He makes me feel something different compared to the other boys I've liked before. He's special. I wish he knows how special he is to me.

I wanted to look at his picture on my phone again and just do that but someone might see it so even if it's risky, I continue looking at him in real life instead and I'm impressed, He didn't turn his head and look. Not even once.

I won't lose hope, I know there are many different ways for him to notice me again.

I planned things ahead anyways and so far I've only tried plan A - M yet nothing changes, it's always a fail.

But who says this is the end? I mean there are a few more letters in the alphabet then when those fail, I could go with the other plans like Plan A1, A2, A3... and a lot more.

Call me crazy or desperate, I really don't care at this point, I just gotta know...

I just want him back...

maybe you won't understand because none of what I'm doing seems worth it...

or you might be one of us, the people who would do anything just to clear things up and finally have closure and some peace of mind... and maybe end up with the person we love, The love of our lives.

No more being down in the dumps! I'm gonna do it!

I motivate myself enough to not back out and think of many ways to get him.

I mean- get him to talk to me again!

yeah... that-

Again call me desperate or crazy all you want, I really don't care.

When you finally find someone that will make you feel this way maybe then you'll finally understand me.

I started to plot out my plans from N - Z which is basically thirteen plans left then if those don't work I'll use the numbers!

I plot the fake scenarios in my head...

" ... Plan N... You faint right in front of him then he'll catch you! then both of you will gaze upon each other having flashbacks with your old but sweet memories! Then...

He leans forward... then... HE KISSES ME!!!" I scream inside my head as that thought came back! The kiss!

but then it made me think... "Nah, that's too cliche. This isn't some Romantic novel that someone could just erase or delete what they typed and know exactly what will happen next. This is real life!"

I said to myself while erasing what I wrote for the plan and slapping myself back to reality.

“C'mon! be more realistic Maya!”

I told myself. So I decided to think of a different one, something that looked less desperate and more realistic

"Hmmm... what about... writing an anonymous letter or poem! Do it every day 'til he falls in love with the anonymous letter sender!" Now that I'm reading that out loud, it's still desperate of me but hey, it's not as desperate as the whole fake fainting one so I thought this would be a great plan 'til I realized "He might not be the type of guy who likes letters or poems or anything romantic in general..."

I sighed as I thought of the many ways this plan could fail. Like it could also take too long for him to like me or he could assume it was from another girl and instead of ending up with me, they'll end up being boyfriend and girlfriend then they MARRY EACH OTHER!! and grow old with each other's company while my heart breaks every day because of that failed plan and I'll end up lonely with no one beside me and probably adopt a cat but soon the cat will leave me soon too because it found another cat it would spend its whole life with and have kittens then again I end up lonely and die but not peacefully 'cause all of that HAPPENED BECAUSE OF A FAILED PLAN!

Suddenly, I heard a giggle coming from my right side.

I turn my head slowly thinking it might be a ghost listening to my thoughts.

Then I was surprised, It was Troy.

I haven't seen that sweet smile and adorable giggle of his in ages.

Oh God! did he hear my thoughts? I was sure it was all in my head and I didn't say any of it nor whisper it... Oh My! Are my thoughts that loud? Oh no! maybe everyone heard me!

His little giggle turns into a loud laugh... Are my thoughts that embarrassing?

I look behind me, nothing seems to be funny...

Is this a sign that things will be better this month?

"That smile of yours that shines ever so brightly,

Will it once again be set free?"