Dive

In The Spotlight

“How the hell did I agree to do this?” I let my mind wonder while my ass is shaking, tight in a tiny bikini, on a platform just three meters above the Olympic pool. The clear blue water should entice me but somehow it just gives me the impression that I'm on a scaffold.

A rain of spotlights and cameras deepens my angst. How will I manage when I have to jump from 22 ft. if I panic now? But, everything in its due time.

I watch Laura Thaler, usually a morning show anchor, approaching me, all sparkly in a revealing, champagne sequin dress and endless heels. Her daring red lips and curls a la Marilyn Monroe  delights the crowd. I kind of wish I were in her shoes right now but that ship has  unfortunately sailed.

-Hello Eva! Nice to see you tonight, so determined and fit! Are you up for the jump?

-Wow Laura, thanks for having me, I confess I have my doubts, while in training I seem to be a lot more chill than I am right now but that does not mean I won’t pull through it! I joke facing the camera for those at home.

-Well, we have a surprise for you to boost your morale! Let’s watch the projection panel there!

I turn reluctantly to see my beautiful son’s face, filling the screen:

“Hello Mom, I am here at the Hollywood sign with grandma and I wanted to send you a virtual lucky star to help you do the best jump ever! We love you Mom and I trust you will do great! Sending lots of kisses your way!” I had to agree to my ex husband’s request and send Noah to the States for the summer. My only wish was that my mother could join to take care of him while his father was working because I know Dean and he follows a crazy schedule. I did not want my kid to end up playing video games from morning until noon. I even paid for my mother’s accommodation somewhere close to Dean’s so that she would not create discomfort for him and he reluctantly agreed. It was for the best since I can see Noah is now in Hollywood, alone with my mother, 232 miles from Las Vegas where his father fervently proclaimed that he wanted him for more bonding.

I close the rain of thoughts and refocus on the screen where the enchanting Chloe appears, at the edge of an infinity pool, in a place, somewhere exotic, lucky b***h. I really thought she would extenuate herself with planning our upcoming launch party and drilling through dance rehearsals and I even felt guilty about ditching all that work in her lap.

“Hey Ava! I miss you girl and I am rooting for you! I watched the first episode, girl you look amazing, so determined and so capable! I know you can do it! I have my fingers crossed for you! Love you so much! Make me proud!”

-Love you too Chlo, I mutter because in my soul I know that what she says is true and I appreciate her taking time to encourage me.

- Hmm Eva, feeling better already? Pouts Laura with a perfectly studied gesture.

-Laura, honestly my emotions have grown even stronger. I miss my kid. I haven't seen him, apart from video calls for three weeks already, also I wish I were with Chloe but I am stuck here ... jumping to my death! I laugh slightly hysterically.

-Lets give it one more try than- we have your brother and your best girlfriend in the live audience!

-O my God! If you could find anyone less likely to lift my spirits in this world, it would be my brother Victor! Since I came here he’s only been pestering me to drop it and return home. 

I watch as Victor waves timidly from the crowd, my friend Nora close to him, her fists tight in an encouraging stance. Another assistant brings them a microphone:

- Hey sis, love you! Don’t embarrass us and please try to keep your bra on! 

I blush hard and laugh embarrassed because what else can I add to my older brother's Oscar speech. 

-Feeling so much better already, Laura! I am ready to jump, only need my trainer to help me get in the right position!

-Hurray, you go Ava! That’s the spirit, Laura awkwardly pats my arm and leaves the platform.

I shake off any trace of anxiety and let the adrenaline kick in. I am going for a mundane, head first dive, knowing my limits and having no airs I would be related to Greg Louganis, known as probably, the greatest diver in history.

My coach advises one last time to keep my back straight and pay attention to my legs line.

This is quite tricky because when you jump your brain forgets everything about your back, about your legs, and in my case, it plunges straight into a frenzy at all that water, knowing I cannot get out of it on my own. 

I cast a deer in the headlights glance towards the divers and one of them beckons me the ok sign. 

Finally, the scene lights turn from red to blue and that’s my que to perform.

I am always amazed how time expands in such stressful circumstances. I feel the splash, I am utterly relieved nothing seems  broken, and at the same time I watch in terror as the water line moves further and further. When you jump from 10 ft. height, you should expect to go at least another 10 ft. under water. Of course I know that, but my laughable survival instincts are crippled the moment I feel the chlorinated water directly into the sinuses. 

A firm body supports me from behind while strong arms guide me upwards. Coughing and spitting water, I struggle like a madwoman while one hand and my feet are deep-rooted around my savior. I get the “monkey in heat” analogy right now but I couldn’t care less and I continue to squeeze the life out of my rescuer while he gently pushes me towards the edge of the pool. 

As I climb out, making sure in a fraction of second my boobs are in place and still covered, thanks Victor for the extra concern, I regain my composure. I spare a fleeting look to see Raiden’s conceited smile, while he backstrokes to resume position. Stuck-up bastard!

The show must go on!

I take my place in front of the four judges and expect their critique. The public loves this s**t: the drama, the juicy gossip, the confrontations...and the judges were hand selected to fit the profile. Only one of them is a professional swimming coach, the rest: a scandal show host, to judge the artistic impression, a piercing fashion guru to mark the attire and a notorious singer, renown for his over the top parties and drug scandals- probably for the extra piquancy, since he constantly flirts with the eccentric fashion authority.

-What posture! What grace! Eva, I was about to jump to save you but seeing the attitude of the professionals in the pool, I would have done nothing but complicate things! gets the show on the road the third moderator, wrapping me in an awkward hug since I am dripping all over.

-Why didn’t you jump to save me Zach?! A minute more and I would no longer be here! I joke, faking an elbow to his ribs. 

-Well, thank goodness you are still with us and looking so fine! Let's see what the judges have to say about your performance. I am positive we shall have a nice surprise ladies and gentleman!

I am surprised to receive quite the positive feedback from the team of judges. Even the fashion critique who constantly disproves of my appearances at various events and galas, considering them vulgar and tasteless, gives a 7 for my Agent Provocateur Izaro asymmetric cut-out bikini, in color-block, paneled design, combining pink, coral and orange.

With an average of 7.5, I walk with light steps to my place, among the other competitors, making some of my dance signature moves while one of my most popular songs drives the crowd wild.

I am greeted enthusiastically by Zoe and Caesar, a couple of stand up comedians that I have met at this show for the first time and with whom I bonded from the first days of training and shooting. They are such fun, free-spirited people that they even manage to make me relax and agree to have a good time.

Their influence extends as far as making me agree to attend one of their shows, taking place this weekend. After their special, we are going to Club O for drinks and dancing at their special 90’s hits party. I am really pumped to dress nicely, put on some make-up and shake it till I can’t no more- it’s been a while since I had the chance to do this outside our shows or private parties. No matter how fun they are, it is still work after all and I hardly ever get to let my guard down.