Desire becomes Her

Chapter 18

18

She wasn't sure how long she had sat in the hall crying, but she eventually got herself up and put her ear to the door of the Great Hall. She could hear all of them, she could hear Lucifer speaking, she could hear Lucian and she could hear David; but he wasn't crying anymore so that made her feel a little better. She didn't want to, but she walked away from the door and down the hall way. It was no use standing there and worrying about it. She couldn't stop it, so she may as well ignore it. So she went to bed.

How many hours had passed she did not know, but when she woke up, it was because Lucian was pulling the sheet back and climbing on top of her. She moved a little, to turn on her side and ignore him, but he flipped her on her stomach, putting his full weight on her. "Lucian, I don't want to do this."

"And I have had a bad night and need to relax." His voice was cold, something she hadn't heard in a long time.

"And you think I haven't had a bad night? Leave me alone --." He pressed her head into the mattress and pulled her underwear off and continued to hold her down as she struggled. "No, Lucian...not like this. No...Please! You promised, you promised!" He ignored her, and took her wrists in one hand and produced a piece of rope and tied them up above her head; she screamed, but knew no one would come to help her.  He had only done this once before, the first night she spent in the Pit with him, alone. He had shown her what he could do to her if he wanted; and he had done it until she complied and got used to what she was to him; A thing to do as he pleased with.

When he had finished, she laid there, a sneer on her face, and body sore from struggling. He lay next to her and for the first time in a long time she had no desire to be anywhere near him. She slept on the opposite edge of the bed and listened. Throughout the night, she could hear David crying, calling in his tears and it made her cry. This had been one of the worst days of her life and she had no one at the moment to comfort her, but herself. Eventually she managed to close her eyes and fall asleep.

The sleep was restless, she couldn’t find a position that didn’t make her hurt. When she woke up, she was alone and she scooted herself to the middle of the bed, hugged a pillow and cried until she fell asleep again.

They all left her alone that day, except Lucian, who came back several times to take from her what he wanted but she didn’t struggle again; she just gave in. All she did was lie in bed and try to forget everything. It was hard though, as she couldn't get much of it out of her memory, it was stuck there for good; no matter how hard she tried to push it out. What he had done was unforgivable.

It was late evening when the door finally opened and Mammon walked in with David on her hip. The pretty little thing, with her long hair, and excessive jewelry looked at her in almost sympathy. "I heard Lucian showed his true self again. Not such a nice guy, now is he? He r***d you, didn’t he?" She looked toward the dark marks where the rope had been tied over the holes in her arms; it still hung from the headboard.

“It wasn’t the first time Mammon; it probably won’t be the last…” Addison wouldn’t look at Mammon she just looked at the bruises on her arms. "Just give him to me...please." She had sat up, pushed hair from her face and reached out for David. Her arms were bruised, and she had teeth marks on her shoulder; she looked worn.  Mammon held him back a moment before handing him over. David clung to Addison and she held him close. He had a bandage taped to his chest that ran from his collar bone to his navel, his dark hair smelled of incense and blood.

"He's not yours anymore. He belongs to Lucifer now."

"He'll always belong to me, Mammon, I am his mother. He's part of me and that can't be taken away." She didn't look at her as she spoke, just lay David down beside her, he had nodded off to sleep in those few moments, thumb in his mouth. She got up out of bed, stood with her arms crossed, eyes narrowed. "I don’t understand how you could let this happen to such a small child, he’s only a year old, Mammon...”

"It’s just the way it has to be, Addison. Lucian interfered, like he always does and made things a whole lot harder for you. David was never meant to be Lucian's son. He was supposed to be Lucifer's. He was simply taking what belonged to him back.  You are lucky he didn’t kill him and start over with you." She almost sounded sympathetic but Addison knew better and when Mammon gave a smile and turned around she rolled her eyes and sat down again. Her body ached and her head was pounding and she just wanted to go back home.

Sitting cross legged on the bed she brushed back David's hair and carefully peeked under the bandage that ran down his torso. She found symbols carved into soft baby skin that had already started to scab and heal. She bit her lip and tried not to cry and curled her body around her son and watched him sleep off the trauma he had experienced. She could handle all the horrors of this world but she was not sure this was fair for him; despite what he was.

Sleep came easy that night and it was a sound sleep despite having David’s hot little body beside her. When she woke up, she woke to a hand on her back and weight behind her. Lucian had come to lay with her again. She pulled away as he ran his hands down her arm, his chin on her shoulder he looked at David sleeping soundly next to her and breathed in, taking in the scent of her hair and nuzzled into her neck. She elbowed him in the gut and she heard him grunt but he didn't back off. "I won't apologize for last night, Addy."

"I didn't expect you would."

 He hugged her closer, running a hand over her hips and between her legs. She tensed up, but his hand remained. "He belongs to Lucifer now." He let out another long slow breath and kissed her neck gently.

"Don't ever. Ever. Do that to me again." She clenched her jaw, keeping back her anger, though her nose tingled with the onset of tears.

"You know I can’t promise that." He wrapped his arms around her and he hugged her close to his body, held her tightly and she let him cling to her, in no mood to fight with him again.