A Lie So Beautiful

39. Covers

Jace's Point Of View.

I wake up all breathless and sweaty, shivering in pure fright.

Mia: Jace, you okay?

Angel! My angle, she is fine and here with me looking at me with a worried gaze. What a relief! Its really a relief.

Jace: Yeah, Iam fine.

She look at me with a warm smile while playing with my hair.

Mia: Bad dream?

As she said that, I realise its just a bad dream and because it was a dream, I could breath a little again.

Jace: Yeah, a really scary one.

A very very scary one, cause I know better than anyone that it will come true someday. If she finally find out all the truth, then she really will hate me. That thought alone scared me so much.

Mia: Want a hug?

Come on, who says no to a hug from an angel. Not even the devil.

So I quickly embrace her to myself.

She felt so warm.

Mia: Was the dream that scary?

It was much more than just scary, but I guess I can't say it like that again right.

Jace: Umm, I lose a precious treasure which I could never give away.

Or rather than that I killed my precious treasure, my angel.

Mia: Seeing as you are this scared, the treasure must be really important one.

I get my head out of the hug and look at her in her eye which is sparkling brightly with curiosity.

If I could ever tell her and make her believe how much she means to me and how important she is to me, that would be such a blessed day.

Jace: It is! It is the most important thing in my life.

As I said that I can practically see her eye enlarge in pure curiosity. It felt warm and fuzzy to know that someone is this curious and want to know so much about me. A person like me.

Mia(curious, curious) : What was it?

You, would have been the correct answer to that question right?

Jace: A white lily.

Now she look confused.

Mia: Flower?

Jace: Umm, a beautiful and delicate flower.

As I said that she seems to be deep in thought.

Mia: Did someone pluck it? Seeing as you say your treasure was destroyed.

Selfishly I even wish this was the truth, cause if it was this way. At least I could have done something to make her grow again and bloom happily even if its just once more. I would have given anything for that to happen if it was a different time from this one.

Jace: No, I destroy it myself. I seems to meticulously plan how to destroy each petal step by step and in the end even destroy the stem with it.

Like Iam doing now. Meticulously planning everything so that I could forever live in this lie I have created to protect her.

Mia: That must be why its a dream.

Jace(confuse): Hmm?

Mia: If its not a dream, why would someone destroy something they consider precious? That too even plan about it.

She said it as if its just so ridiculous that it scared me. It seems to her this is all just something that is impossible, and of course its angel. All this will be impossible for her. Her hurting someone who she love is indeed impossible, and I get why she expect that from someone else too, mainly me.

Jace: I know right? If its not a dream, why would someone destroy something they love so much.

Now, lying to me seems like another normal thing. Scaring me so much.

Mia: But, I never knew you like lily? What does it mean, that you like it that much?

I dont even like flower in general to begin with, so why would she know.

Jace: Cause white lilies mean innocence, purity and calmness.

As I say that Mia look at me confusedly.

Mia: And?

She look cute with this confused expression.

Jace: Those things also stands for an angel and angel also stand for?

I look at her expecting an answer, while she look at me excitedly as if she have figured out something extraordinary.

Mia(excited): Me! Me!.

If I knew she will get this excited over something like this, then I would have said it a long time ago. What a shame, but then I guess, its better late than never right?

Jace: Exactly!

Mia: Then its definitely possible just cause its a dream.

Her being a flower?

Jace: Huh? What is?

I look at her confuse while she look at me with a bright expression and said without a stutter with full trust.

Mia: Because in real life, its not possible that you will hurt me to the point my life is nearly lost let alone plan 'meticulously' for it. And you said you killed the lily in your dream and if the lily means me to you, then take it as a ridiculous dream and not a bad one.

As I hear her voice full of trust and faith, I chocked in my own breath. How can I do this to her? How can I ever do this to my Mia, my sweet angel who loves me more than anything she have ever love, who cares for me like she did to nothing else and who trust me more than even herself.

But me being me once again I decide to just lie about it and change the topic.

Jace: Of course, anyway forget about that. Why are you here, that too now?

As soon as I said that I regret it cause she jump right out of my arm and stand up.

Mia: I nearly forgot again, I brought lunch cause I was sure you will not prepare yourself one. And see Iam right.

And she gave me a glare. I don't even remember anything about my lunch, how did she even keep tap about it is beyond me.

Jace: Sorry, I fell asleep before I know it.

I should at least be honest at this little chance I got.

Mia: Never mind that, come on lets eat lunch..

And she drag me out with my hand in hers towards the kitchen.

Mia: Tatah..........

And as I look at it, she had set up a table which consists of two bowl of rice with a salad on the side and plain boil green mustard on the other side. And in the middle there is a huge bowl of tripe and spicy looking fried beef. Now I know why she is here .

Jace: So you order tripe again and Chris kicked you out again?

Mia (sheepishly) : You can say kind of.

Actually Chris can't tolerate even the smell of tripe let alone eat it. While on the other hand Mia love it with her heart so whenever such day like today came when Mia order it. Whoever won get to stay in the house, with the other one leaving. And I guess Mia loss today.

Jace: So you came because Chris win and you get kicked out?

And yet all the speech she gave acting like she knew exactly what was happening.

Mia: That is the second reason I came here, the first was obviously you my dear.

I doubtsl it, cause mainly Mia is crazy about food and almost all the time, its her first priority.

Jace: Why do I have a doubts here?

Mia: That's your thoughts, how would I know?

And sge gave me shrug as if to say what do I know and quickly drag me to sit down while sitting down herself.

Mia: Come on why do you care about such thing. Everything is working out just fine isn't it? So let's dig in, shall we?

And she scoop a spoonful of everything in my plate. Of course doing the same with hers as well. She look at me excitedly, making me smile as well and start eating.

Seeing me start eating she also start eating and very welly. She must have been hungry.

Actually Mia has a weird habit of starting to eat only when the one with her starts to eat. So we have to take the first bite for her to as well.

Mia: Mmm this is so so tasty, tell me why someone won't wanna eat this tasty tasty thing?

Well here is my chance to tease her again.

Jace: Of course they have to be a fool not to want to eat this.

She nod vigorously while munching on her food.

Mia: Exactly, only a fool wont like this.

She said that and eat another spoonful while I just wait for her to realise what she just said.

Mia: Hey my dad is not a fool.

Saying so she look at me full on offended with her eye somewhat squinted looking so cute. Her baby face is the finishing move to everything she do as a cute thing.

Jace: I never said he was. Its just you thinking while I don't even mention it. So...

As I said that she turn to me and punch me in my arm which, as you may guess, it didn't hurt one bit. As she continue to punch me, It just made me laugh more and more making her more irritated.

And yes like this we finish our, oh so eventful lunch.

After our lunch we decide to go out in the terrace and just gaze at the stars, I guess. The meaning of which I don't really get, I don't know why but I don't really find things like this as magical or beautiful as other seems to believe it as.

To me they are just a light there and nothing else. But Mia love doing this kind of things, looking at the sunrise or sunset, gazing at the stars and so on. So I do it too from time to time which I don't mind at all. Iam doing it with Mia and that make this moment all so precious, to me this was not about the stars or what not. It was just a time for me to spend with Mia quietly and I love and adore every second of it.

Right now, Iam setting up a fort like thingy. I specifically keep blankets and many many pillows and the toys Mia love just for this. So I spread out the blankets and bring out the many many pillow and toys. I brought out about four blankets for us to use.

Mia can just sit outside like this for hours and hours and in the end just fall asleep here. So keeping her warm is a top priority. Being cold and out for so long is definitely not an option. Mainly because it just not an option and secondly because she almost always get sick and very easily at that.

She can be considered very weak in that area, she always get herself sick. And on the other hand she is called the master of clumsy, she can get hurt anywhere and everywhere. She is that girl who broke her foot by just walking on a flat surface. Apparently it has something to do with her bones not strong enough according to Chris.

Anyway like that our fort is set up. Right now Mia is making tea for us and getting some fruits she want.

And now I realise she probably won't be able to bring out all the stuff given her broken arm. So I went in the kitchen to help out and truly enough, she is there trying to carry everything at once with one hand. Its two cup and a huge bowl full of different kind of fruits. How she thought carrying all that at once is beyond me.

Jace: Here let me help.

And I take the bowl and a cup leaving her one. We go out and place all the things in the small table kept there. After there Mia jump up and blob down on the setting. See, all the pillows are not luxuries, its a necessity, I tell you.

Mia: Wahh, I love sleeping around outside like this.

She grin widely and look up at me with a super excited expression as if this is the first time we are doing this.

Jace(chuckling): I can see that angel.

She smile at me and pat the space next to her to come and join her. I went to her and lay down as well just looking at the stars for a bit without anyone of us talking.

Mia: I have been curious about this for a while now but why do you keep on calling me angel?

I look at her as she ask that, the answer was so clear in my mind but I was not able to say it out loud and clear.

Jace: You ask that after all this time?

I mean its about two year since I keep on calling her that.

Mia: Emm, I was curious before too but just never got a chance to ask. So why is it?

Because all you ever do was give, give and just give more and more. Because you gave me everything you have with joy and like a human who could never repay what they receive from an angel. I too couldn't repay back anything. I just keep on taking everything you have and in turn could never give you anything. I could not even give you back the sacred love you have for me.

Jace: You just seems like an angel to me.

Mia: Thats it?

I nod my head in a nonchalant manner making her frown a little.

Mia: Oh well!

Hmmm, I could have said a lot of other things but why did I choose not to, I don't really know. But I decide to change the topic instead.

Jace: Oh I nearly forgot, Lea is getting married this month. She sent an invitation card for you as well.

Mia: Really? Ahh I thought they would never work things out with their shyness but its happening much faster than I expect.

Jace: I know right?

I mean it took more than two year for them to confessed to each other, but then I guess when people are together things can change. And FYI Lea's fiance also work in our company as an accountant in the finance department.

Mia: Where are they getting married?

Jace: Iam not very sure where but its a destination marriage.

I did read the card, I just forgot. It was a beach I think. But I don't remember which beach or even where.

Mia: Oh! Jace how do you want your marriage to be held?

And she look up at me curiously, I never even think about it.

Jace: Isn't this question better be ask to you by me rather than the other way round?

Mia: Mehh guys can dream about it too, you know. Now tell me.

Marriage with Mia is a thing I have never imagine and could not even do so. But trying it is not a hard thing either, actually it was more than easy.

And its Mia, I know exactly what kind of wedding she will want and what kind of wedding I'll have wanted if I have to marry her.

Jace: A simple one with only close one invited.

Mia: That's it?

Jace: Mmm, do you think of all the details as well?

Mia: Of course.

Iam scared.

Jace: Then lets hear it.

Iam really scared, because I know for a fact that Iam there in all her future plan. Be it an important thing like marriage or a simple one like a picnic somewhere. Iam always there and that scares me because I know better than anyone that I will most probably shatter her hopeful and sweet dreams.

Mia: I want a simple marriage too, held in our front yard. With a simple dress but the yard should be decorated with cherry blossom flower and attended by only few people I hold dear to. I would be there with you, and dad and Justin both standing at our side with a happy and warm smile. Us happily laughing together celebrating ourself. We look happy in that dream of mine.

As she finished she look at me and smile brightly as if she is already living that dream. And in that moment I thought to myself, if my soul could ever be worth of something, then I would have exchange it for her dream to definitely come true. What would I have not given to see her smile like that forever, the answer was clear to me Her life.

Jace: I promise, I'll make sure everything you wish for will come true.

She look at me and just smile to herself.

And all I could think of was, another promise I can't keep, another lie that will tear her down, another vow I will break it myself. Why even bother saying it in the first place, I won't be able to be responsible anyway.

Mia: Iam so excited to know what future hold for us.

It scared me to think that she may not be able to meet the future she had envision with such excitement she have now, all because of me.

Will I even be able to say sorry at that time?

With what hope am I even gonna say sorry? Do I even hope to be forgiven? Absolutely not, cause I know I don't deserve it. And I should not be forgiven.

As I was thinking all this I feel Mia head snuggling up to me. She had fallen asleep. She was speaking so excitedly just now, how did she even fall asleep with that much excitement and even so fast at that.

I adjust her head on my chest properly and let her body lie on me. She whine a bit as I move her but then continue sleeping just snuggling up to me more making me chuckle.

She look so cute when she sleep, her soft cheeks all puff out and her lips in a small pout. Looking so peaceful, innocent and carefree.

I slowly kiss her on her forehead like I always do.

Jace: Iam so sorry my little angel, if its possible please don't forgive me.