A Lie So Beautiful

21. Self

Jace Point Of View.

While I was still frozen in my seat drunk in my own prison like mind, I feel someone tap me in my shoulder so I look up.

Justin: You okay there man?

I must have zone out for awhile seeing as he is looking at me worried and in Iam your doctor, you my patience kind of way.

Jace: Iam alright, how's Mia?

Justin: Still unconscious, but she seems to have faint from exhaustion and shock. But what cause the shock is not sure yet, maybe its the accident but there are chances its not that as well. So we will know only when she is conscious. But other than that, all is fine just waiting for her to wake up.

Thank you God. Thank you so much. My prayers were really answered

Jace(full of hope) : So, she is not in any danger now right?

Justin: Emm, nothing critical was found beside her wrist. She hurt it pretty badly even affecting some part of her bone. But with proper care and rest, its nothing to worry about. Although it will take probably more than a month to heal.

Ahh! This will kill her. That angel's clumsiness is no joke, so to stay still and not hurt herself for a month is a big challenge for her. But with such a wrist, how does she even treat others? But I realise that's not the point right now.

Jace: Okay!! What about all the scratches? Any big wound?

There were many scrap marks in her arms alone and I didn't even check her body. If her body is the same as her arm, then its won't be a simple case no more.

Justin: No, she must have scrap herself in the fall explaining how the scratches but only in her arms. But its really a miracle that she does not have any major injury considering she fell from so high up, but nonetheless let's take it as a blessing and carry on.

And he did a mumble a thank you god and even look upward and give a kiss to nowhere.

Jace: Okay, where is she now. Can't I go see her yet?

Justin: You can but don't wake her up. She need all the rest and yes Chris and me are needed for others, so we won't be available for a while.

I nod my head and was looking at him expecting him to tell me where she is but him being him he also stare at me.

Jace: Before I do something to you, better tell me where she is.

Justin: Oh!! And here I thought why he is listening to me so intently.

Of course, him and his thoughts. Ridiculous.

Jace: Are you telling me or not.

Justin: Okay, okay. Take the corner and the second room to your right.

As soon as I heard him I was walking away to go to Mia but not before I heard Justin whispering.

Justin: I knew he will never talk to mevif not for Mia.

I tell you, that dude dramaticness is never ever ending but he speaks the truth as well. But thats not the point right now. So I quickly turn the corner and reach the second door.

And as I open the door, I was met with the sleeping face of Mia. She look so pale and disturbed. Even as she sleep she look as if she was having some trouble. Her face shows nothing, but distress.

I walk over to her bed taking step as gentle as I can, as waking her up is not encouraged. I slowly pat her hair and take her hands in mine and softly kiss her forehead and seat besides her in the chair kept besides her bed.

And as soon as I touch her, slowly her distressed face fade away and a peacefull one seems to appear making me sigh in relief. I don't know how it start or even how it happen but whenever she have nightmare or distress in any form when she sleep, and I touch her and stay beside her she always find comfort in it and slept away peacefully as if nothing bad will happen anymore. She recognise and seems to trust me even in her unconscious state.

Chucking to myself, I continue to softly and slowly pat her head and enterwine our hand and leave a soft kiss on her palm from time to time. And as I do that I see her sleeping comfortably now which make my heart flutter in pure joy. How can this girl trust me this much? It is beyond my understanding.

What a bittersweet truth is this.

But nevertheless, Its so relieving seeing her all okay and sleeping in front of me peacefully. Cause only I know how worried and scared I was when I saw only her car in that street. Only I know how loud my heart beat looking down at that cliff and only I know how unsafe I feel when I know my angel was in danger or how panic stricken I was when I saw her unconcious while hugging that little kid. And only I know, how I make it through my heart breaking into pieces as she cried her heart out looking all scared and frightened.

But in a twisted way it make me happy that I could at least shared her pain with her. It make me relieved that when she is sad, I have the honour to share her sadness and it makes me happy that at least I was given the opportunity to worried and feel scared for her safety.

But what make me scared out of my wit and saddened to my core is that when she is this scared, shock, hurt and beaten she find comfort in me, she trust me enough to be there for her with no question ask and that she love me enough to know that its me even when she is unconscious.

How strange is it that her love make me hate myself more but again was the only reason why, I could ever love myself.

My angel was the one blessing in my life nothing can ever compare to and for a matter of fact, I know even when years pass by or a century fly by, she will be the only angel that guard me in my life.

But what make my tears drop down as I sit here was how undeserved I was of this love. What is making me weep like a baby right now was me not knowing what to do anymore. How can I do this to her, to my Mia?

What will I do, if she cried so heartbrokenly again?

What will I do if she can't handle the pain?

What will be my answer to her anger?

Or worse what will I even do if she forgive me?

Thinking of all this make me cried in total agony.

Cause no matter what I say or anyone else says for that matter, I know for a fact that Mia's love was compareable to nothing, it was majestic and holy on its own. It was a pure and innocent love which no words can do justice in describing it. But mine was a rotten, spoilt, taint and conspired one. My love for her was born in the mouth of lies, woven in the bone of desperateness and ripen in the heart of broken promises.

But yet those two love meet, how unfair can life be because of selfishness like mine.

Mia: Come on, Iam not gonna die this early. Why are you crying that heartbrokenly? This is making me feel a little sad.

Jace: Mia?

And as I saw her give me one of her warm smile, I quickly get up and hug her as if my life depend on it.

Mia: Aww were you that scared?

I just nod and hug her more and more trying to absorb the warmness that surrond her as much as I can.

Mia: Iam sorry, I make you worried.

When she said that I let go of her and look at her while cupping her face.

Jace: In this lifetime, at least to me, you don't ever have to be sorry

Mia: Hmm? Why not?

Jace: Cause you are my angel and my Mia.

Mia: Huh! What's that suppose to mean.

Ahh what am I going on and on about before I check on her health. How foolish am I becoming?

Jace: Never mind that, how do you feel now, should I call for Justin if you are not comfortable anywhere?

Mia: No!No! Iam alright, I was not that badly hurt anyway. I must have faint from exhuastion, nothing else.

Hmm, am I the only one who supposedly don't know this. Caused everyone and even the patience is knowing this piece of information.

Jace: Well you do are a doctor, cause Justin said the same thing before.

Mia: I knew it. But how are the kids, are they alright?

Typical Mia, always thinking about others. Iam not really surprised that this is her first question at all, I expected it all along.

Jace: Lexy come by earlier, she said all of them are fine and also wish you speedy recovery.

Mia: Phew!! That's a relieve then.

And she sigh in relief and look at me with the most sweetest smile I have ever seen.

Jace: Thank you.

Mia: Hmm?

For making me remembered that Iam still a human who cried and feel scared when he see his love one hurt and who smiles and feel giddy for no reason seeing his love one smiling in joy. For making me realise, I still care and still love and all this is no more just an act I chose in my selfishness.

But for whatever reason it may be I just shake my head and give her a smile making her nervous but nonetheless giving me a smile as well.

Mia: Then, how is my hand doing, caused the cast seems to have gotten bigger again.

And like she said the cast this time has really become bigger and this time its not just a bandaged cast, its a fixed one as this time her wrist is completely broken and sprain is a far away history.

Jace: Of course it has become bigger, you even lift a kid with that hand, what do you expect from it?

When I said that she look at her cast in a admiring manner, is she going crazy. Should I consult a therapist or a psychiatrist now?

Mia: Actually I was expecting a lot worse than this but if its just broken than, Iam lucky I guess.

Jace: What more were you expecting?

I means if blood is not involve, is there another step higher than broken as well.

Mia: I don't know, like my bone completely crushed or tissues torn or worse just fall off I guess.

Well there seems to be much more level than broken than.

Jace: Okay, stop. Its broken and that's it. Let's not discuss worse things today, we have already seen enough.

When I said that she just nod and take the water I offer to her and drink it.

Mia: What about Justin and dad? Are they not here?

Jace: They have gone to check up on others, they might be back shortly. Should I call them if you want?

And I was about to walk out to call them, we don't need her to ever cry again because we didn't come faster, like ever.

Mia: Stop, stop! Iam not a kid that I always need the three of you everywhere even when you guys are working.

When she said that I look at her with a look that screams seriously?

Mia: Okay okay, I got the hypocrisy in my word cause I just cried about it a few hours back and blah blah but now Iam no more like that.

Jace: Whatever you say angel, as long as you are fine, so be it.