A Lie So Beautiful

23. Iam Happy

Mia's point of view.

The image of my father with sweats all over his face, half his body burning, and pain stricken yet smiling to his beloved daughter just so she is less scared is so vivid in my mind, it was scary.

How can my parents loves me that much that even in their last breath they were thinking of ways to make my life better. Even at that moment where the most painful thing was happening to them, they still think about me first.

And yet, here Iam not even remembering their face. They die with a smile cause I live and yet, here Iam. I don't even have it in me to mourn them, I don't even know what they have done for me and Iam already all grown up.

How can I do this to them, how can I be so infidel that I even forgot them, I forgot the people who gave birth to me, who raised me with nothing but love and the people who died for me to live. How can I?

With that I try my best to remember more , just anything will be fine but I just wanna know more things about them. Just anything, but even when I keep on thinking about it nothing comes up and my mind is just completely blank

The frustration and hopelessness I feel at that moment was so heavy, I felt crushed. And in no minute, I realise I was full on crying and my head has started to hurt so much, I can't seems to focus on anything.

I was trying to get a grip of myself, when suddenly many blurry images pass by in a flash, at some mom is laughing and looking at me, at one dad is lifting me up and cooing to me, at some Claire is calling out to me while running away at the same time. Maybe we were playing, and at some dad(chris) is lifting both me and Claire and sitting at the open area seemingly looking at something but I don't know what.

Some more images comes up and this time both me and Claire are in a hospital bed, she is crying out in pain, and at one I was alone and seems to be making a birthday card for someone.

Images keep on coming but with it my head keeps on hurting more and more and my sight becomes more and more drowsy . And shortly I start to become breathless and my surrounding seems to have become smaller and more stuffy each minute.

Tears seems to be pouring down, I feel overwhelmed by all this unsure emotion and pain. I saw many images, many of my memories seems to be coming back but I cant grasp anything clearly, I couldn't understand even one of the things Iam seeing.

While on the other side, my head ache like it will burst any second now if I continue to think but then again I can't stop myself from thinking. I wanna know all the things I forgot, or maybe I was just so scared of my parents disappointment when they saw me forgotting them, but nontheless my mind seems to be trying non stop to remember everything even when my body can't seems to run along with it.

It felt so stuffy in here that it seems my breathing is gonna stop any second now. I was trying to breath in and breath out but after a while I seems to have started giving in to the pain and not trying to get out of it anymore. Giving in to the pain just seems to be the easier way out. The pain in my head alone is making me dizzy, let alone my short of breath. I guess fainting again wont be too bad.

But just as I was losing my conciousness, I heard someone rushing in and calling out to me.

Chris: Hey, hey Mia, sweety look at me. Look here, come on breath with me, slowly in and then out.

As I heard that voice, I tried to focus on that voice alone and breath in and out as he advice me. After a while of doing as he told me to, my vision starts to clear up and slowly I can start to breath again. But my head sure is still hurting like a b***h.

As my vision clear up, I try to open my eye wide and focus to recognise the person in front of me. As I started to see more and more clearly, I realise it was dad, I saw him looking down at me worriedly. And words can't describe how relieved and happy I was to see dad there, it just seems like everything will be fine now.

Mia(whisper) : Dad?

Chris(sweetly) : Yes sweethheart, Iam right here. Settle down, breath slowly and steadily.

I did as he told me to and shortly, my breathing also turns back to normal. Seeing this he quickly get me a glass of water which I was so thankful for because my throath is all dried out and I can't even speak, I have been croaking out the little words I spoke just now.

So I quickly drank it up, and then give him the glass back which he took with a smile.

Mia: Thank you.

Chris: Anytime sweetheart, want some more.

To that I just shake my head as in saying no. After that dad sat beside me in my bed and wipe off my tear. And only then did I realise I was still crying, looks like I have been shedding a whole lot of tears lately.

And looking at dad he seems really really worried.

Chris: Whats bothering you sweety? You know this are not sickness, its coming from your mind.

When he ask that I went completely still for a while, not exactly knowing what to answer. But I tried anyway.

Mia: I... I saw, I sa..w

Why am I stuttering, this is dad right in front of me. I can share anything with dad. I keep on reminding myself its my dad, my dad who love me most. How can I be ever afraid to share anything with him.

Chris: Calm down Mia, take as much time as you want. We dont have to talk about it if you dont want to alright?

See, its dad. Everything will be alright now. Its dad, he is here for me. And with that encouragement I decide to quickly speak up before I could change my mind.

Mia: No, No I want to.

Chris: Alright! Take your time sweety.

As he said that he just look at me with a warm smile waiting for me to be able to share and that smile seems to give me a whole lot of strength at that moment.

Mia: I remember somethings that I forgot before.

Chris (a bit confuse) : As in?

I take a deep breath readying myself and trying to stay as calm as possible as I start explaining what I remembered.

Mia: Fire! There was fire everywhere, dad was running with me in his arm, while mom was stuck in a corner surrounded by a huge fire. Dad ran with me leaving mom behind but after a while he was hit by some walls and then he just toss me out while he lay there all burned and dying. While I just look at him not able to do anything. I.. I was just staring and doing nothing.

I tried to keep it as brief and short as possible cause I was afraid Ill freak out again.

But that was no use as I realise in no time I was full on crying again, becoming breathless once again. What is with my body being so weak, I started massaging my heart as it becomes hard to breath again.

While I was doing that dad quickly hug me.

Chris: Calm down Mia, shusss. Everythings okay, settle down my little Mia. All is fine.

Dad while hugging me lovingly pat my back and continue to say sweet nothing, making me calm down in no time. He really is my dad, cause for a second there, I felt like the world was closing up on me with everything so dark and gloomy. But when dad embrace me and says everything will be alright, that seems like a light in that dark time and I have no doubt anymore, completely trusting his words.

Chris: Look here sweety and listen to me carefully.

As he said that I tried to focus on him as much as I can.

Chris: What happen that day was no ones fault, bad things happen and no one can control or help at how things are gonna turn out. We just do our best to make sure that things turn out how we want them to be and thats enough of what we can do. If things work out well, well and good but if it doesn't, we have to learn to accept that as well, and learn to live with it and move on

Even as he explain that, I feel blank. I cant even accept that, what happen has happen. How am I suppose to be okay with everything and just accept it and move on. It just sound ridiculous to me.

But looking at my reaction dad dont seems all surprised, it was like he expected it.

Chris: You know, when I found you that day, you were not concious anymore but still then you keep on mumbling 'help mom and dad'; ' please help them'. You never even said help me. All you think about was them.

Something I don't remember again. Looking at my saddened expression dad sigh but nontheless continue to speak while holding both of my hands in his.

Chris: All Iam saying is they feel the same as you do. And Iam sure they rest in peace knowing that you are safe. Your parents love you more than anything Mia, and they will do anything and I mean anything for you to be happy.

Do I deserve that, that unconditional love?

Chris: Lets give them that, even though they are not here with us anymore, we the living can fulfill their dream. And their dream was for their little Mia to grow up to a fine lady who is nurtured with nothing but love and that love which brings her up will be what makes her happy as she grows up. Now we can give them that can't we.

Yeah, thats the least I could do for them. And if my happiness is what they yearn for, why not give it to them with a bright smile on my face. But will I be able to?

But even with a doubt in my mind, I nod my head saying yes to dad.

Chris: Good girl, your parents will be so proud looking at their little girl all grown up.

Will they? When I dont even know them anymore?

This question keeps on bothering me and I cant seems to shake it off.

Mia: Dont you think they will be disappointed that I couldn't even remember them?

When I says that dad's expression quickly change from warm to sour. Making me nearly regret saying it but what he said next make everything seems better.

Chris: Nonsense. Mia, your parents loves you more than anything they could ever love. And in front of your happiness, nothing compares to it. Forgetting them or not they wont care. What they truely care about is whether you are happy or not. And whether your life is good or not. And you are happy aren't you?

When he ask that everything seems clear to me. How can I not be happy, I have parents who loves me more than anything, and when they are gone I got a dad whom I can easily and confidently says is the best dad anyone could ever have. I have Justin as my friend who is more like a brother, a protective one at that and I have a lover as Jace who is the love of my life. Iam surrounded by all this people, and how can I not be happy?

Mia: Ummm, Iam very happy!!

And for the first time today, I smile truely being happy which made dad smile as well.

Chris: Then thats enough, you have done your duty as a daughter to them.

All they want and need from you is for you to be happy and nothing else. And if you have done that, then all they have done for you will be more than worth it. Believe me that happiness you feel will be all they ever cared and ask for.

That made me tear up but in happiness, what did I do to deserve him as a father is beyond my understanding. But Iam so grateful that I was given this chance, just thinking about what I would have done withouth him is scary.

Mia: Thank you dad.

And as I say, I quickly throw myself in his arm.

Mia: If I had not meet you dad, I would never have been where Iam today, thank you for always being there for me. Thank you for taking every steps I take with me. Thank you for always believing and supporting me, thank you for loving me. And mainly thank you for giving me the opportunity to be your daughter and having enough patience to be my dad. I love you dad.

Chris: I love you too sweetheart, more than anything. Thank you for being my daughter.

As he said that he hug me a little tighter in his arms making me smile bigger.

But just as we were doing that I heard Justins voice.

Justin: Oh my god! I can't do this anymore.

And he wipe his tears and join in the hug. Did he cry listening to us?

Justin: Come on Jace, this is no time to act cool, come here.

And with that he pull in Jace into the hug as well making it a big family hug.

Since when they were standing there? But nevertheless Iam grateful they were present as well, cause my family is complete now.

Iam really blessed. Even in family I got a second chance to love and be loved. Even though, I have lose some great people who loves me more than anything, if it was to meet this people right here with me, then I seems to have found a way to be okay with my loss.

I would trade with anything I have to protect and be with my family as we are now. And I can easily say that Iam living the best life I can ever have and I couldn't be any happier.

And I wanna tell mom and dad if they are listening, that Iam doing quite good and that all the people in my life loved and cherished me to the fullest and I love them all with everything I have. I got a family with whom I can share everything, my sadness, insecurity, fear, joy, success and many more. Iam happy, so they dont need to worry about me anymore.

And I hope that, they could also rest in peace happily together until the day we meet again like dad has promised me.

But later I realise that day, I forgot to share and focus on two important thing that can change everything. One was that I completely forgot about the necklace too involve in other thing. While the other one was that, Claire was never with us when the fire happen so how on earth did it end up in her dying in that fire?