A Lie So Beautiful

45. Together.

Jace's Point of View.

I wait up all night just sitting in the couch and looking at the door from time to time. I do know its likely that Mia will come home in the morning. But I can't help it and just wait.

Even though I was just sitting there, doing nothing. Ironically time quickly pass by, sleep wasn't even a choice as I don't fell even an ounce of sleepiness. I was much more affected then I hope for.

At first when I meet Mia, I tried to show someone who was not me and just act out everything in someone else perspective so that I won't get affected by anything she does later on. I foolishly hope that I could just act like she fall for someone else who was not me to begin with, so that I would have no room for regret.

But as soon as we meet, Mia fall in love with that person I show her as me. So beautifully at that, that I was even jealous of myself. But as time goes by seeing the love Mia had for that person, I also slowly but surely fall for that image I create, and slowly that image become someone who I call myself and am most familiar with. The plan was thrown away like that.

But of course, it does not end there. Mia cared for everything I do, she was supportive of everything I decide and was there by my side at all time. And like this, she starts to got to know me all too well. The image I create becomes just a first sight of me to her and nothing more. She walk in my world and look through every corner of it and get to know everything about it so clearly and lovingly that I could do nothing else but welcome her in.

She keeps on peeling off each of the covers I had built to meet her so that my secret could be save. And this way she just come closer and closer to knowing the true me, while on that journey getting to know me all too well. She made sure that the journey of knowing me was filled with nothing but love, making it much more precious and priceless than I would have hope for it to be.

But besides myself, slowly slowly I also start to reach out to her, I started to get to know her more clearly. And I realise that the more I know her, the more I get scared by how beautiful and bright she is. The purity and innocence by which she live and love is so rare and beautiful that it sparkled with nothing but smiles and laughter. She make her life so simple and calm that there is just no choice but to be happy.

But in that happiness, there is me. Her Storm. That happiness she so preciously nurtured and gaurd to make sure nothing can even scratch it, is something I could never share with her let alone made it with me.

Cause no matter how much she learn to know me and even understand about me. Something so bitter and disgusting is buried inside me that even her unconditional and beautiful love could not dig it up and end it. Cause my passion to protect that bitter truth was so great and outstanding that all the love I ever have, it has wrap itself around it keeping it more than save and sound. And sadly enough I couldn't even wish for otherwise.

Iam really really sorry to my angel who has done nothing but love and love and love me so faithfully and lovingly that even my heart succumbed in fear and waver in doubt kneeling in front of her.

I sigh to myself once more and just out of habit look at the door once again, but this time it is worth the watch. As I saw angel walking in while looking at me with a foreign look which I have never seen on her, distant. It has not even started yet, I cannot feel so guilty and helpless yet, but I have already feel it. How must she be feeling then, for her to be this upset. How will she react to everything later on if this alone can affect her this much? I am scared.

Mia: Why are you here? That too early in the morning?

Its around 5:30am right now. So, pretty early.

Jace: I was waiting for you.

She look at me confusedly with the tired and weary restless expression of hers. I can't seem to find the spark of happiness and peace she usually carried in her eyes today.

Mia: Waiting for me? Isn't it too early? You know that you can just come and find me later on right?

As she said that she come to the couch and sit besides me while answering herself at the same time.

Mia: But since you are here already, what's up Jace?

I told myself that if I turn my eye and clench my teeth and just say it, it will pass in a few second without me even knowing but as expected, I can't be more wrong again.

Jace: Remember when you told me before that you don't want me to lie about something even if its something which may cause misunderstanding between us?

She suddenly look up brightly and nod at me with eye full of expectation and hope. Was confessing so great for her to the point that where I expect her to be angry, there isn't even a speck of anger in her eye, rather its filled with warm welcome of understanding.

Jace: Well, I lied about something before cause I thought you might misunderstand. But I think I'll rather say it in open and fight about it rather than keeping it from you.

Mia look at me expecting me to continue on, while I just keep on telling myself to turn a blind eye at her honest filled eye and just lied through it.

Jace: Well yesterday when you come to Dr. Mirnic's clinic, I told you that I was visiting Cane's mom cause of her sickness right?

Mia: Umm.

Jace: Well that was not the case, I was actually visitin..

Mia: Claire right?

She indeed knew, but what scared me was her calmness. Cause I knew she will understand me again rather than judge about it.

Jace: And you already know that.

She nod at me with a sullen face.

Mia: I saw you guys when I was inside Dr. Mirnic's office to keep his stuff. But later when I go out, all of you keep on insisting that its his mom.

She does not look mad at all like I had hope for. Not even a little bit of anger when she blatantly got me lying to her face. And that too by secretly seeing my ex fiance.

Jace: Iam so sorry for lying, but I just thought you will be too uncomfortable to see me with Claire given our past and all. I th.....

She cuts me off with a smile on her face making me feel much more guilty.

Mia: Its okay, I understand. I was there just suddenly, so you must have been startled by the situation. And its not just casual meeting, she is sick and that's the first priority.

What less will I expect from her. Of course she will understand.

Jace: I know you understand but I just wanna say this. Cane's mom is very ill and on top of that Claire's constant sickness has take a toll on him. And he does not have enough time to take care of both of them like they need him. So he ask for help, and I consider you might be uncomfortable with it, but I couldn't turn it down.