Living in the Shadows

La Vie En Rose

Arthur would visit me after my classes, after his photoshoots or VTR he would just go to my place, he even has keys to my unit. We were together almost every day. We do almost everything together.

“What are you doing tonight?” Art texted.

“Study,” I replied plainly.

“I’ll come over.” He replied.

“Ok.” I texted back.

“I miss you.” Art texted back real quick.

“What should I reply? Should I tell him I miss him? Would I look too clingy?” thoughts in my head.

“Same, see you.” I texted Art, giggling thinking he might get annoyed by my cold response.

*Phone rings*

“Hey, I just called to check if you’re okay.” Art asked. I really don’t know what to answer.

“Babe, are you okay?” he asked.

“Babe? Who’s babe?” I asked sarcastically and let out a loud laugh.

“You are my babe, my baby, my love.” He answered with a serious tone.

I just can’t breathe. There’s this inexplicable feeling that rises from my gut, which makes me smile, and makes me feels like I am going to barf. It is sooo weird!

“You are driving me nuts, BABE. Just drive safely. See you.” I replied, trying to conceal what I am feeling. I don’t want to sound too giddy that he would be coming over.

“Ok, I love you Macky.” He responded.

“Should I say I love him too?”  thought in my head

“Ok, see you,” I answered and hang up.

“Eeeeeeeeeeehk! What the heck was that????” I shrieked, thinking out loud. My cheeks are just blushing, I can’t hide my emotions. My cheeks would always betray me. They turn red easily!

After half an hour. He arrived with food and some drinks.

“Awww. Babe, but I still have food in my fridge!  I still have supplies. And, I can’t drink tonight, you know I have exams for my Literature class tomorrow.” Got peeved a little, seeing him with the grocery bags with bottles of wine.

“I’m sorry, I’ll just have a glass after dinner, then I’ll watch you study.” He kissed my forehead and headed to the kitchen countertop to put down the grocery bags.

This setup became the norm for days, weeks, and months.

He became my best friend, we talked about anything and everything, he was the only one I had at that time.

Mum got her promotion, therefore, I get to see her less. Dad was so busy with his life too, he opened 2 more restaurants in Australia, our usual calls turned into texts to almost none.

“Le Petite Fleur will open its third franchise in Victoria, we have here Mr. Johnson, executive chef, and owner of the restaurant.” Art and I watched this interview Dad had on an Australian channel. Thank God for cable TV I can watch the news from my hometown and get updated from time to time.

“I am so proud of you Dad! I love you and I miss you sooooooo much! XOXO” I texted Dad after watching his interview on TV.

“Wow! I am excited to meet your Dad, babe. He looks really cool and the way he talks, he seems like a nice guy.” Art commented as he stood up heading to the kitchen to prepare for dinner.

 “Yeah, he’s the best Dad any daughter could ever have,” I answered softly, feeling a bit gloomy, I was suddenly reminded that he is thousands of miles away from me and I miss him terribly.

“What’s wrong babe?” Art caressed my face and kissed my lips.

“Nothing, I just miss him,” I answered, then he scooped my face and gave me another kiss.

“We’ll see him soon. Don’t worry.” He gave me a big kiss and continued preparing dinner for us.

My parents were at the peak of their careers at that moment. I might be longing for some attention and Art gave me all the love and attention I needed.

On weekends we would visit Art's family and got to spend some time with his mum and dad too. They are really good people. I love his sisters! It feels like I am part of their family.

Art is the 2nd among 5 children – he has 3 sisters and a brother. His sisters treated me like their own little sister, as Art is 7 years older than me so his sisters are like big sisters to me.

My parents might not be around, but I am truly grateful for the love I am getting from Art and his family. We were dating for months but it feels like I’ve been with him since time immemorial.

School is great too, I got admitted to the ladderized program, once I finish my undergraduate degree, I would instantly gain my masters too. Everything seems going well with my life. Art is like the perfect boyfriend a woman could ever have.

Well, he is my first, first everything! So, I guess I don’t really have someone to compare him to.

(La Vie En Rose version by Lady Gaga playing in the background)

Arthur loves soccer as much as I love painting, reading, and writing short stories. I would often watch him play in the nearby field while writing my short stories.

I always dreamed of releasing a book or just publishing something that tells my story. I am not sure if that is something people would be interested in, but who knows what can happen in the near future.

While I am busy at school and some extracurricular activities, Art has been busy with some casting calls. I always prayed for his career, that he would get a formal contract.

Aside from being inclined to sports, he really loves theatre and acting. He never fails to amaze me with his talents. Who would have thought that a good-looking guy like him has so many skills, a jack of all trades indeed! I don’t need to pay extra for someone to fix things in my unit, ha! Perks of having a crafty and handyman boyfriend.

He could play the guitar, could sing, and could act so well! I’ve seen some of his audition videos, and my goodness! Made me fall in love more. Some days, we would be spending the entire day together, some days we would be apart doing our own businesses.

“Thank you for being a supportive girlfriend. I’ll never find someone like you. I miss you!” Art texted me.

“Ugh, so clingy!” I texted back.

“Oh look who’s talking here.” He replied.

“So who is the real clingy one?” I asked.

“I am ma’am. Yes ma’am.” He texted back.

“Just be sure you are not just being sarcastic. I’ll see you later. (heart emoticon)” I replied.

“I’ll bring dinner too, don’t buy anything later. I’ll see you. (kisses emoticon)” last message I received, and I did not reply. Because that is the rule! He should be the last one who texted. My rule, just because I am not clingy.

This is how our daily exchange of texts looks like. I just wish that this kind of conversation would never end.

“I love you.” Art said as he kissed my forehead. “I love you too Derek Arthur Roberts,” I answered, trying to be awake.

“Open your eyes, I wanna see your beautiful green-hazel eyes while you say you love me.” Art teasingly said while trying to squish my face with his big hands.

“Babe, I am just so sleepy right now. I am always sleepy.” I replied.

“Are you tired? Is there so much going on with school?” he asked.

“Maybe you’re just using my body so much. I just can’t stand how many times you release your seeds now.” I replied jestingly.

“What did you say? Do you want one more?” he said pulling the sheets covering my body.

“Nooooo. Babe, I need to sleep.” I replied and fell asleep.

I woke up in the middle of the night feeling odd. I am not sure if I am hungry or if I am bloated, I just can’t explain it. I called Art so he could come over.

 “Babe, can you come over, I am feeling sick. I just can’t explain it.” I told Art, gathering all the energy left in my body. Everything turned black after that call.

“Babe, are you okay? Babe, can you hear me? Macky, answer me.” Art picked me up and brought me to the car.

When I woke up, I am in a hospital bed, I saw Art holding my hand, looking so worried. My mum was there talking to Art’s mum. I am half-awake. Everything looks blurry. Then I passed out again.

When I woke up, Art was sleeping at my bedside the following day.

“Babe wake up. Where’s mum?” I tried to call him with little energy in my body. “How are you feeling now?” Art held my hand then caressed my belly.

“What is wrong with my belly? Am I dying? Do I have cancer?” I asked nervously.

“Babe, take care of yourself, and of our little one.” Art answered while smiling. He looked really excited. His eyes were filled with so much love. This is the first time I saw his expression like this, it is like he won something, he was so happy.

“It is not going to be easy, as your pregnancy is really sensitive, and you need to be on full bed rest. But I will be here for you and our little one, every step of the way. I promise.” Art uttered as he kisses my forehead. He was caressing my belly. His eyes are sparkling with so much joy. I’ve never seen him this happy.

To be honest, I had mixed emotions. I am going to be a mother at the age of 18?! Am I ready? This is just really overwhelming for me, but because of Art, I did not feel unsure of what is about to happen with my life. I love him. I love the idea of having his baby. I love the idea of having a family with my first love.

After few days in the hospital, Art decided to stay with me at my place since mum cannot look after me. You know, career woman, very busy being an Executive of this established insurance company in the country. I honestly felt hurt and abandoned by my parents. I just felt like, all of a sudden, I am not their priority, is that what growing up really means? But I should not stress out. I am having a baby and the love of my life is here with me.

“Babe just stay here in bed. You need to rest. I’ll bring everything you need.” Art said in one breath while unpacking all my bags. “Okay.” I just replied as I dozed off.

The following morning, when I woke up, Art is no longer in bed. I tried to get up and sit when he came in holding a bed tray table with breakfast on it.

“Breakfast is ready for my two babies.” He said excitedly. He was just there beside me, staring at me while eating breakfast. “Marry me Macky.” He uttered. “Huh?” I answered, not sure with what I heard.

“Marry me, Maria Cristina Johnson, be Mrs. Roberts.” He held my hand and put a ring on my finger.

“How did you get this? We were in the hospital..and..” I was hushed by his kiss.

“Will you marry me?” he asked.

I just looked into his eyes and answered, “I love you Derek Arthur, yes, I will marry you.” I kissed him and hugged him tightly.

It might not be the most glamorous proposal, but I know it was the perfect one.

(Close to You by Carpenters playing)