Love Beyond Chaos

Chapter 7

BLAKE'S P.O.V

I noticed her the minute I stepped into the class.

Not because she was loud or flashy, but because she had this presence; quiet, soft, impossible to ignore.

And when I noticed an empty seat beside her, I didn't complain. I took the opportunity and sat down next to her.

She tried to ignore me by reading a textbook, but it was upside – down. I'm sure she didn't know, she was just so focused on not talking to me.

I fought back a laugh, thinking how cute she looked. I pointed it out to her and she blushed, covering her face in humiliation.

When she blushed... God.

I felt that blush deep in my chest.

I don't know what made me to ask to sit with her in lunch. Maybe it's because I loved her smile, or her blush, or maybe it was because I wanted to know her more.

Lunch with her started on a good note. The problem started when Dylan asked her to tell us more about herself. I saw the hesitation in her eyes, so I made a joke to relax her and make her calm down; but it did the exact opposite.

I noticed the change in her expression, before I could ask what was wrong; I saw tears gathering in her eyes. Tears slid down her cheeks and she made no attempt at stopping them.

The moment I saw tears in her eyes because of me, I felt this pain in my chest.

When Laurey asked her what was wrong, she put on a fake smile.

A smile that hid all the pain and feelings I knew she had buried deep inside her heart.

She made her way to the restroom, head hung low and dejected. Seeing her like that, it felt like I was the cause of her pain and it hurt my chest even more.

Dylan nudged my shoulder lightly. "Dude... what did you say to her?"

I ruffled my hair out of frustration. "It was a joke. I didn't mean to hurt her, I swear."

I looked at Laurey and she was looking at me with a sad smile on her face. She wasn't angry like I expected her to be, just... disappointed.

"I know you didn't mean it. But you need to apologize to her when she gets back." Laurey said, looking at me.

I nodded my head, looking at the hallway Lexi ran to. One part of me wanted to follow her, but I restrained myself. I felt like if she saw me, she will become uncomfortable.

The cafeteria was filled with laughter, chats and gossips. But they all faded into the background, because my mind was filled with thoughts of Lexi.

I was about standing up to look for her when I saw her walking back into the cafeteria. Her head was still hung low like before, and her hair was covering her face; blocking me from seeing her expression.

She sat down and started picking on her food.

"Sorry for leaving you guys like that." She apologized while picking her food.

"It's okay... there's no need to apologize. Lexi... are you okay?" Laurey asked her with a smile.

She looked up from her food and smiled – a short, weak smile that showed she was tired of everything.

"Yeah, yeah... I'm okay."

"Are you sure?" Dylan added again.

"Yes... I'm sure."

She went back to picking her food.

I cleared my throat. "Lexi... I'm so sorry if my joke made you feel uncomfortable. I just saw that you were a little hesitant to tell us about yourself and I thought making a joke will make you relax. But I had no idea it would affect you like that. I'm truly so sorry."

She looked at me, her lips slightly parted; like she was not expecting me to apologize to her.

"It's okay.... I know you didn't mean it." She whispered.

I smiled, feeling relieved that she didn't blame me or hated me for it.

Soon, lunch came to an end and we went to our various classes.

Throughout, the day I couldn't stop thinking about Lexi. The pain in her eyes when I made that silly joke.

What could have happened to make her react like that?

The thought of her being in pain because of what someone did to her made my chest burn in anger and I had no idea why.

I just had this urge to know her, to never make her cry and always protect her.

I wanted to be close to her. I wanted to see her smile more often—and maybe, if I was lucky, be the reason behind that smile.

Okayy... What is wrong with me?

The closing bell rang and all the students trooped out of the school in groups, going in various directions. I went to the parking lot and leaned against my motorcycle, hoping to steal a glimpse of Lexi coming out of the school gates.

I finally saw her walking out with Laurey and Dylan. She was in their middle and laughing about something they probably said. She was no longer tensed, she was laughing; a real laugh.

It made me happy to see her happy. I don't know why, but seeing her smiling was enough for me to smile and feel happy as well.

I know she felt me staring at her but she didn't glance in my way, but it's okay. As long as she's smiling that's all that matters.

Why her smile mattered to me so much, I didn't know. Why did it pain me when I saw tears in her eyes? Why is it the first time that I feel this way towards her – towards any girl in fact?

Why do I want to know more about her? Especially about her hidden secrets, the memories that bring her pain; so I can hug her and comfort her... tell her that she's safe with me and I'll always protect her.

I sighed and climbed into my motorcycle. I wore my helmet and sped off, heading home to clear my head...