Chapter 3: Sensitive
968 Words
She's not attracted to Lucas. God knows she’s not. Pero hindi niya mapigilan ang sarili na lingunin kung nasaan ito. The way his muscles flex with every movement—nakakairita. Bakit ba ako tumitingin? Napairap siya sa sarili. She felt stupid for anticipating every damn thing that jerk of an ex did.
At wala naman itong pake. Para lang siyang hangin.
Lumipat siya sa ibang equipment, determined to ignore him. Nilapitan naman siya ni Ken na agad tumulong sa pag-set.
"May pinaghahandaan ka ba?" tanong nito na may halong pang-aasar.
She gave him a sarcastic smile. "Sino—" napatigil siya nang dumaan si Lucas at tumabi pa sa equipment niya, "—of course. I'm planning to have a baby, eh. Gusto kong makahanap ng gwapong tatay." Tumawa siya as if it’s the funniest joke in the world, habang si Ken naman ay natatawa at umiling.
"I thought you're getting married with—" nginuso pa ni Ken si Lucas na seryoso sa ginagawa.
Nabuka ang bibig niya. She didn't know he knew about that. Pero dineadma na lang niya. “Pero hindi naman ibig sabihin na dapat may mangyari sa amin. I want a child, yes—but not him as a father.” Pairap pa siyang binitiwan ang equipment.
Ken chuckles. “Are you sure? Para namang in-love ka pa sa ex—aray!”
Tinampal niya ang braso nito nang malakas. Tumataas ang balahibo niya sa ganoong usapan. Wala na siyang nararamdaman para sa gag0 niyang ex. Wala. Kahit pa may anak na pala itong sinikreto.
“Tumahimik ka nga! Ang malas ng bibig mo!”
Ken only laughed louder. “Buong school lang naman kasi ang nagambala dahil sa inyong dalawa noon.”
Sinamaan niya ito ng tingin—pero bago pa siya maka-react, pareho silang napalingon nang tumikhim si Lucas sa likuran nila. She didn’t even notice him walk up. For a second, she panicked.
“What?” tanong niya, defensive.
Nakatingin lang ito sa kanya, mabigat, bago lumipat ang tingin kay Ken.
“Can I talk to my fiancée for a minute?”
Ngumisi agad si Ken. “Sure. She’s all yours—’wag mo nang ibalik.”
Binelatan niya ito, pero tatawa-tawa lang si Ken habang umaalis.
Pagharap niya kay Lucas… wala itong sinabi. Tinitigan lang siya nito, para bang pinag-aaralan. Then he simply turned around and went back to what he was doing.
She felt insulted.
Noon pa man, mahilig itong manahimik para ipamukha na mali siya. Mahilig siyang ipahiya sa tahimik na paraan. And she always fell for his consolation kisses, his gentle tone, his soft apologies.
He was insensitive. Always had been.
Inis siyang naghanap ng gamit at lumabas ng gym. Hindi pa rin talaga ito nagbabago. At bakit ba siya naaapektuhan?
Pagdating sa condo, mabigat ang loob niyang kumain ng salad habang nanonood sa Apple TV. She changed her living area setup again—she always did that when she felt stagnant.
Inis niyang kinuha ang remote, hindi namalayang nasa kandungan pala niya ang bowl. It fell and shattered on the floor. Mabuti na lang hindi siya natamaan.
Naiiyak siyang tiningnan ang salad at ang basag na crystal bowl. Isang luha ang dumaloy sa kaliwang mata niya. She quickly wiped it away.
Tumayo siya para sa trash bin, pinupulot ang malalaking piraso nang—ding-dong.
Doorbell.
She wanted to finish cleaning first, but whoever was there seemed impatient. She huffed, stood up, and swung the door open.
She didn’t expect Lucas.
“Anong ginagawa mo rito?” she snapped.
“Anong nangyari sa ’yo?” he asked back, looking at her face like he could read everything.
Nag-iwas siya ng tingin. “Wala ka na roon. What are you doing here?”
“Your father called,” he said. “Pinapapunta tayo sa bahay.”
Napatingin siya sa living area. Her father didn’t even bother calling her directly.
She nodded without enthusiasm. “Susunod ako.”
Akmang isasara niya na ang pinto, pero pinigilan ito ni Lucas. Nagulat siya nang hawakan nito ang kamay niya.
“Nakabasag ka na naman?” he asked quietly.
She almost laughed. Alam nito ang ginawa niya—pero hindi ang dahilan. Hindi ang bigat. Hindi ang sakit.
Nang tingnan niya ang kamay niya, may manipis na guhit ng dugo mula sa maliit na sugat. Hindi niya man lang napansin.
Binawi niya ang kamay. “Bakit ka ba nangingialam? Magiging mag-asawa lang tayo sa papel. Kahit kailan hindi ka nagkaroon ng pakialam sa ’kin, so ’wag ako ang artehan mo ngayon.”
He pursed his lips. “Still in the past, huh.”
She froze. A little humiliated.
She looked away and bit her lip hard enough to taste blood.
“I still just hate you and your guts. Mauna ka na sa bahay. May sarili akong sasakyan.” And she shut the door on him.
She ran her hands through her hair and clenched her jaw until it hurt.
She cleaned again, showered, dressed up. She chose distraction. She chose to look unbothered—even if she wasn’t.
She wore a matching mini skirt and cropped tube top, paired with peep-toes. She did her full makeup, curled her lashes, and left.
She arrived at her parents’ house around five.
Pagpasok niya, rinig niya agad ang tawanan sa pool area. Nang masilip niya kung sino ang mga nandoon, umatras siya. Her father’s political associates.
Hard pass. She wasn’t in the mood for fake smiles.
When she turned to leave, her heart nearly fell out of her chest.
Lucas was walking toward her.
May hawak itong basong may gin. And he was clearly tipsy already.
She remembered—madaling tamaan si Lucas. Nerdy, good boy, weak to alcohol. Focused.
And someone who once made her feel useless and stupid without even trying.
- Writer
