Hate And Desire

Chapter 4 - The Past

Tumatakbo pababa ng hagdan si Celestine dala ang gamit niya para sa swimming kasama sina Jordan at Georgina. She was too excited, kasi alam niyang magswi-swimming din sa parehong resort ang crush niyang si Rohan, the guy wanted to court her at nahirapan nga lang itong pumorma dahil agad nakaharang si Jordan. She grimaced at the thought of Jordan, nagkatampuhan sila at ilang araw na niyang di kinakausap ito, if not because of this swimming na ay hindi niya talaga kakausapin si Jordan ever! Sumusobra na ito sa paghihigpit sa kanya.

"Sherry where are going?" Called her mom from upstairs, her mom loved to call her by her nickname Sherry. Hindi kasi siya pormal na nagpaalam dito, kapag naman kasama na si Jordan sa lakad ay panatag na ang loob ng mga magulang niya. She just turned sixteen and Jordan was so over protective when in comes to her. He's been acting like her older brother for six years now. Tinuring na siya nitong tunay na kapatid eversince that day she promised him that she'll be his Martina, but sometimes, naiinis siya kay dito, masyado itong mahigpit sa kanya and there comes a time na gusto niyang isumbat dito na hindi siya ang kapatid nitong si Martina. 

"I'm going with ate and Jordan, we're going on swimming!" She replied hurriedly.

"Okay, just call me and your dad kapag dumating na kayo sa resort!" Her mom shouted.

"Copy mom! Love you!" Ganting sigaw niya.

Nang-aantay na sa labas ng gate ng mansion nila ang kotse ni Jordan, nandoon na din sa loob si Georgina. Gosh! She's seeing him again after that huge fight they had the other day, nahuli kasi siya nitong nakikipag-date kay Rohan sa likod ng building sa School nila noong minsang sunduin siya nito. He was so furious and he even dragged her away from Rohan at may mga classmates siyang nakakita sa kanila at napahiya siya. After that, nakaririnding sermon ang narinig niya sa Daddy at Mommy niya dahil sinumbong siya nito.

Binuksan na niya ang pintuan sa backseat. Both of them are wearing shades at sana nag-suot na rin siya ng sun glasses para man lang naitago niya ang inis niya sa lalake. Padabog siyang naupo sa likuran at pabagsak na inilagay ang dalang bag sa tabi niya.

"Sweetheart what are you wearing?" Tanong nito na alam niyang nakatingin sa kanya sa rearview mirror

"Why?" Kunot noong tanong niya. What is it this time?

"I'm going to be in a big big trouble. Change your outfit! Now!" Maowtoridad ang tono nito.

"What--"

"Listen to Jordy, pretty...." Putol ni Georgina, giving her an encouraging look.

"But what is wrong with my outfit? swimming ang pupuntahan natin di ba? Alangan namang mag-long sleeves at mag-pajama ako?!" Reklamo niya, she's just wearing an outfit for swimming. She's wearing a black animal print bikini top, ang patterned bikini buttom niya ay nasa ilalim ng maiksing puting shorts niya.

"If you don't change, might as well put your long sleeves on." Muling sabi ni Jordan saka pinaandar ang makina ng sasakyan. She rolled her eyes on him at kinuha na lang ang shawl sa bag para itakip sa sarili. She's really pissed off. Wala siyang kibo sa biyahe habang ang dalawa lang ang nag-uusap sa unahan niya.

"You know what honey? That big modeling company in Paris has been calling me. They are raising the offer." Masayang kwento ni Georgina. Oh well, her ate is really gorgeous and has a body of a professional model, she's already one of the most in-demand commercial models in the Country from a Shampoo ads, beauty products and other branded products in the Philippines.

She saw Jordan hold Georgie's hand while he's driving. "Yeah? Ah! I'm proud of you honey, have you accepted the offer?"

"Oh not yet, I was thinking, what if after na lang ng kasal natin?"

Celestine froze on what she just heard. They're getting married? Why Jordan didn't tell her about it? Dahil ba sa nagkatampuhan sila o talagang hindi na ito nagsasabi sa kanya ng mga importanting bagay sa buhay nito? That hurts her. She focused her eyes outside the window. There's a sudden pain that she couldn't understand at all.

"I like your idea." Jordan answered. "Maybe I'll go with you in Paris after our wedding."

And he's gonna leave me here? 

Celestine was shocked with her own predicament. Every piece on her wanted to scream in denial but why would she do that?

She stared at Jordan in the rearview mirror. He looked magnificent with his shades on, he has an upturned nose and smear typed mouth that looked sensual. She looked away again. Maya maya ay tumunog ang cell phone, napangiti siya nang makita kung sino ang sender, it was Rohan.

Hi Celestine, we're here at the resort already, I'm so excited to see you

Abot teynga na ang ngiti niya at nireply si Rohan.

See you later Rohan...

They finally arrived at the beach resort in Batangas. Nakapagpa-reserve na sila ng Bungalow cottage. They'll be staying here for four nights, halos madilim na nang makarating sila. Nang makapasok na sila sa silid ng cottage, she immediately texted Rohan, siya kasi ang inutusan ni Georgina na mag-book ng reservation nila sa resort kaya sinadya niyang malapit sa cottage ng mga barkada ni Rohan ang Cottage na napili niya.

Nandito na kami Ro, nakapag swimming na ba kayo?

Nakapag swimming na iyong mga kasama ko, inantay talaga kita e, c'mon let's go!

Okay, let's just be discreet, kasama kasi namin si Jordan

Sure.

Agad na niyang inayos ang sarili at tinanggal na ang shawl at shorts niya. Naka-swim suit na siya nang lumabas sa cottage.

"And where  do you think you're  going?" Natigilan siya sa paghakbang. Oh no! nasa likod niya si Jordan. She silently  groaned in frustration. Here we go again!

"Magswi-swimming of course!" Sagot niya na hindi lumilingon dito.

"Too soon? Why don't you wait for us? Georgie is preparing our food in the kitchen. Let's eat first bago magswimming." The two went on grocery for their food supply for four days here in the resort.

She could picture him raising his eyebrows at her exposed back. Humarap na siya dito. "Eh hindi pa naman luto di ba? Why don't you help ate prepare our food?" She suggested just to get rid of him.

He eyed her knowingly. Staring at her from head to toe with disapproval na nais magpailang sa kanya. Alam niyang kumukontra ito sa suot niyang swimsuit.

"Me? You don't want to eat a disaster food sweetheart, or why don't you join us prepare our food?"

Grrrr. Hindi na naman siya nito titigilan.

"Gusto ko na kasing mag swimming e." Hirit pa niya

Naningkit ang mga mata nito. He gave her an evil grin.  "With that piece of swimsuit you're wearing? do you think it will be safe for you to swim alone? Alright I'll join you..." He decided.

"My gosh Jordan, will you please stop this? I can take care of myself! I'm not ten years old anymore! Nasasakal na ako sa pagiging overprotective mo! Aba mas minamanmanan mo pa yata ako keysa kay ate!" Naiinis niyang singhal dito. Hindi pa nga sila bati at heto na naman pini-pissed off na naman siya nito. Urgh! He's really good at these things.

"Overprotective? Sweetheart, I'm just doing this for your own sake..."

"Ewan ko sayo! You're really pissing me off!"

"Really? Even if I tell you that I've got this?" Itinaas nito ang dalawang ticket sa ere at alam niya kung ano iyon. Natutop niya ang bibig. He fulfilled his promise to buy a ticket for the two of them for the upcoming concert of Westlife in the country.

"Oh gosh!" Agad nawala ang galit niya. She stared at him happily and on an instant napatakbo siya patungo sa lalake at niyakap ito sa sobrang tuwa. Anger totally forgotten.  "Thank you thank you thank you Jordy!"

He chucked in amusement "You're always welcome sweetie. Does it mean na bati na tayo? Bayad na ba ako sa'yo?" Bahagya siyang inilayo dito. She rolled her eyes.

"As if kaya kitang tiisin? You knew what's my weakness, but can I just swim on my own please? Kahit ngayon lang?" She pleaded hopefully

"Absolutely not, we'll swim together."

NAPASULYAP SIYA KAY ROHAN. She gave him an apologetic smile dahil hindi ito makalapit sa kanya dahil kay Jordan. Nawalan tuloy siya ng ganang mag swimming, umupo na lang siya buhangin at nilaro niya ng kanyang paa ang mga mumunting alon na tumatama sa paa niya. Jordan joined her.

"I thought you wanted to swim?" Usisa nito.

"Mamaya na lang..."

"Still pissed off at me sweetheart?"

"Hindi na kasi tinupad mo naman 'yong promise na bumili ng ticket for the concert." Nginitian niya ito. He smiled at her too at inakbayan siya.

"I'm sorry if I'm too overprotective when it comes to you. It's just that I know how a man operates sweetie. I won't allow anyone to hurt you. You are my Martina remember?"

"But Jordy hindi na'ko bata. I'm already sixteen at nagkaka-crush na rin ako, yong mga classmates ko nga may mga boyfriends na e, wag mo na akong masyadong binabantayan..."

"So gusto mo ng magkaboyfriend?"

She shrugged her  shoulders

"Why not? You and Ate were both sixteen noong naging kayo di ba? So pag ako hindi pwede?"

"Did your olds allow you?" 

She shook her head.

 "That's why I'm here kasi oras na suwayin mo sila, I will be forced to tell them about it." Banta nito at alam niyang hindi ito nagbibiro.

Napabuntong hininga siya. "Hindi naman ako mananalo sa'yo di ba? Sa tuwing nahuhuli mo akong may ka-date sinasabi mo kaagad kina mommy at daddy, e alam mo namang overprotective iyong mga iyon sa'kin, to tell you frankly, nasasakal na ako sa inyong tatlo...." Mahina niyang sabi habang nakatingin sa dagat.

"Is that the reason kung bakit lumalayo na ang loob mo sa'kin?" He asked seriously. Napatingin siya dito. I'm afraid of what I felt for you Jordy, that's why I have to stay away from you, that's why I have to focus myself to Rohan....

But all those words remained in her thoughts. "Partly yes." She answered while shrugging her shoulders.

"And the other part is?"

 Urgh! Jordy is really not into accepting just one answer.

"Why didn't you tell me that you're getting married with ate?" Hindi niya napigilang tanong. Tinanggal ni Jordan ang pagkakaakbay sa kanya.

"Ah that, It's a rush decision..."

What was it in her throat that made her feel breathless? As if she couldn't even swallow her saliva! She's really afraid of what she felt for this man, and that she had to hate him to guard her feelings but yet she don't want to lose him.

"Why so sudden? Is she pregnant?"

Umiling ito "Nope. We've been together for six years now...aren't you happy?"

Not at all and I don't know why. I should be happy for you. I should be happy for Georgina but I do not feel what I supposed to feel.

"Ofcourse! I'm happy for the both of you." She lied. She suddenly felt like crying

He looked at her tenderly

"Why are you trying to hide everything from me sweetheart? Once and for all can you be honest of what you truly felt?"

"Huh?" What does he meant? Is it too obvious? But wait..what's too obvious? Gosh she's so confused. Later on she realized what he meant. Dahil hindi na ito nakatingin sa kanya kundi salubong ang kilay na nakatingin ito kay Rohan.

"You lied to me again! What the hell is he doing here?"

He thundered. Oh no this is trouble.

"Who?" Painosente niyang tanong.

"If I see you talking to that fcker, hindi mo magugustuhan ang gagawin ko. Let's get back in the cottage!" Hinila siya nito patayo at halos kaladkarin siya pabalik sa cottage nila.

At dahil alam na ni Jordan na nandoon din sa resort si Rohan ay hindi na siya makaporma dahil hindi na ito pumapayag mag-swimming siyang mag-isa. Maghahating gabi na at ka-text niya parin si Rohan. He asked her if pwede siyang tumakas sandali para makipagkita dito. Pinakiramdaman niya ang paligid, mukhang tulog na si Jordan at Georgie, tahimik siyang lumabas sa sariling silid. Natigilan siya sa paghakbang at napaatras nang makita si Jordy at Georgina na nakaupo sa sofa ng living room. They were kissing!

Jordan's hands were on her face as he kissed Georgie passionately, his teeth bitting her lower lip. Hindi siya makakilos sa kinatatayuan niya. May kakaibang kilabot siyang naramdaman! The two were together for six years but it was the first time she saw them intimate like this. Jordan unbuttoned Georgie's blouse at bumaba ang ulo nito while he lowered her to lie on the sofa. 

Her heart beats faster! Her body temperature went higher!  Napahawak siya sa hamba ng pintuan bilang suporta. Jordan was such a great kisser! At sa bawat ungol ni Georgie, pakiramdam niya'y sinasabayan niya ito...as if it was her on that sofa next to Jordan and he was kissing her like that. She cringed at the intensity of her very thoughts! Feeling so guilty and ashamed. 

She should stop watching now. Now that he is kissing Georgie's chest. She couldn't see it enough but she knew that he is kissing her breast!

Just about when she decided to turn her back, Jordy rose his head and caught her watching. Natigilan ito at salubong ang kilay na nakatingin sa kanya, agad siyang tumalikod at isinara ang pintuan ng kaniyang silid. Gosh! huling huli siya ni Jordan, paano na niya ito haharapin bukas? Sana'y hindi nito sabihin kay Georgie that she watched them the whole time of their show! Parang kinakain na siya ng hiya!

Where are you? I'm waiting...

Rohan texted

I'm sorry Ro gising pa sila kaya hindi ako makalabas e

After a moment, Rohan was calling her. She forgot her troubles while talking to the guy over the phone, he's such a talker. Soon, she's already laughing with him. They talked for more than 3 hours kaya halos 4:00 AM na sila natapos mag-usap. Inihanda na niya ang sarili para matulog pero nakatitig lang siya sa kisame. Her mind went back to the live scene she just watch a while ago. Jordan kissing Georgie...how would if feel to be kissed like that? To be kissed by Jordan? 

Some time later, she never expected that a silent wish will become true!