Dates, Guns and Me

PART 1:DATES. TWO

In class, we had our own reserved seats no one sat on or sat close to. In the cafeteria, we had our usual seats and tables no one sat on. In the parking lot, we had our reserved space for parking our cars that no one ever tried to use.

I know there is a rule that doesn't allow students order food, you just have to eat what the school was serving in the cafeteria for lunch but, Jada. Jada broke that rule most of the time when we weren't exactly feeling the meal being served in school. I'd never had to go to detention even though I wasn't exactly the best behaved student.

And we weren't your usual basic bitches that were mean to others because of their social status. Nah, we just knew how to be cool with everybody and at the same time, keep it brief and simple so that that disrespect with overfamiliarity doesn't set in.

I loved my life at school.

"I can't wait to get home." That was a statement that lately, I really don't know how to relate to. I could always wait to get home.

Home wasn't home for me. In fact, Vera's home was becoming more homely for me than my actual home.

My mom was, oh well. And my dad was, oh my God! And not in a good way. They both pissed me off.

My mom and I haven't really been close right from time. She pissed me off a lot. She was very religious. Now, I'm not saying I dislike religious people but hers? Hers was something else and to be honest, she was still a hypocrite. Bribing people, conning her opponents in business, paying people to do her dirty work for her? What she always used to control herself was that thing from the Bible that said something about being as gentle as a dove but as wise as a serpent.

It wasn't my mom's over religiousness that spoilt the personal relationship between me and her. It was what she did to me.

My mom says I'm possessed, Vera's mom said I'm gifted. I prefer that gifted story.

I have this thing of being able to see something before it happens. I see it in my dreams. Usually, the message is not really precise, but it makes me understand that something is about to happen.

For example, when I was 11, I had a bad dream about my grandma. And then, the next day, she was involved in an accident and fractured her leg bones. She had to start using a wheel chair from then. When I was 12, I had a dream of my dog dying and after 2 weeks, she got really sick and died. At 16, I had a dream that our house burnt down to the ground, but in two days, it was actually my mom's restaurant that got burnt, claimed the life of 2 of her staff and four were hospitalized for weeks.

That was when my mom decided that she had had enough. She was so mad at me and told me that the devil was using me through my dreams to make everything bad for the family and that I was possessed. I get that she was really frustrated that her 'baby' as she called her restaurant was burnt down but she didn't have to say such a mean thing to me. I didn't just have only bad dreams. She'd forgotten the good dreams I have too. Like, when I had a dream that my aunty got married and in a week, her boyfriend proposed to her. Or when I had that dream about something huge happening for my dad and then, in four days, he got a huge promotion. A promotion that made him really rich. Rich enough to open his won company and make him a multimillionaire.

It would have been better if my mom had just said that possessed s**t to me and let me resent her but no, the woman was serious. She took me to the church and told them I was possessed. All these crazy women arranged a 7-day fasting and praying service for me to cure me of my demons.

Like, b***h, you and I know that I'm not possessed. You just enjoy the huge amount of cash my mom donates at your church.

Well, my mom was foolish enough to starve me for a whole week from 6am-6pm and then, every evening, drag me to church so they could pray for me. At 16!! At 16!!!!

Man, I resented my mom for that. These women would kneel me down and surround me, speaking in tongues, while spitting on me and pouring holy water all over me which really pissed me off because they were ruining my curls.

I would just kneel there and glare up at them. But I noticed that it only made them more aggressive with their prayers. So, after the fourth day, I stop glaring at them and stop flinching when they poured me holy water and they were so pleased that they had purged me of the evil spirits.

In those moments, I can't explain how much resentment I had for my mother.

I didn't tell her that she wasted her time cause I was still having those dreams. Instead, when she asked me, "Olive darling, you still having those weird dreams of yours?". I shook my head and pouted.

She then grinned broadly and said, "See? Told you you are possessed."

Take note of the way she still used it in present tense.

I just smiled at her and nodded.

I didn't tell her that the previous night, I had a dream that her mom passed away. And just after she finished telling me how possessed I was, she got a call telling her that her mom passed away in her sleep.

I really really wished my mom was more like Vera's mom. It was Vera's mom that taught and encouraged me on how to pray whenever I had those dreams, be it good or bad. Right now, Vera's mom was the mother figure in my life and I really enjoyed talking with her about my dreams.

Besides, I really don't know what's up with my mom anymore these past months. She's become very distant. She'd disappear for days and no one knew exactly where she was. I've stopped caring. Well, not stopped caring. I've just stopped showing that I care because when I used to care and call and text my mom asking her where she was and how she was, she'd ignore my calls and texts and still come back whenever she feels like. Why do I have to be the only one making efforts to make this mother-daughter thing work??

As for my dad, he and I were close when I was younger but then, he got so rich and so fuckin busy that he didn't have time anymore as he used to. I kinda understood that part though I felt he could really do better. But now, these past few weeks, my dad's been acting really sketchy. Not caring about mom's whereabouts and then, over worrying about me. Asking where I was every goddamn time and calling me to know when I'd be coming back home . At first, it was a sweet gesture even though it was out of the blue, but then, it got f*****g irritating and annoying. Not like he was even missing me and was in the goddamn house waiting for me to come back. Nigga was probably on a trip to Miami, but calling me and telling me to sit my ass in the house and not go anywhere. I had to remind him that I'm 17 and almost 18 and didn't need to be checked like that and that I could take care of myself but, he remained of the opinion that I'm not safe exposing myself outside and I shouldn't go anywhere.

Safe from who??? From what???

He wouldn't answer my question so, now we got in fights every now and then and God, did he know how to make my blood boil.

So, most times, my house is empty. No mom. No dad. No sibling. Just boring workers, who still leave when their work time is over. So, I just spend most of my time in Vera's home. Guess who still has a problem with that?

That's right. My dad.

That's why I hate home so much. I have no life at home but, at school?

Oh, yeah.