Alpha Loreign

Dear Dairy, I have tried to write this entry about a thousand times but each time I go to put pen to paper I am either interrupted or I simply cannot find the words to describe my last year, Today is Tuesday November 13th, exactly one week to my 18th birthday, In truth I think keeping a journal is stupid but the counselor I am now talking to has assured me it would help me work through my emotions and according to one of the last conversations I had with my mom I need to learn to remain calm and collected at all times to unlock whatever ability she was convinced I have. My mother was killed a little over a year ago on October 1st and though we have suspicions of who may have been responsible we have little to no proof. I cannot even begin to explain my last year without her, difficult is an understatement that doesn’t quiet do it justice. I would say the most difficult part has been the people who use my mom’s murder as supporting evidence that women cannot defend themselves and therefore, I should not be alpha of my pack. But honestly there have been many male alphas who have done far more damage than any sane pack should ever allow. Many people on the elder counsel urged my dad to have a chosen mate after my mom passed away so he would have a chance at having a male heir, but he refused to move on from my mom, not to mention he did not want to be alpha for another 18 years and raise another child. Then when they finally realized he would not remarry they tried to get him to promise me to another alpha so that our people would be guaranteed a “strong male leader”. Sexist pigs the lot of them, but luckily my dad refused to give me over to anyone, he said I have the right to know what it’s like to love a fated mate and I love him for that. Now don’t get me wrong I am worried what the future holds for me and my people, but I will do the best I can for them, I know them all, no one in this world will fight harder for these people than the girl who was raised to be their alpha. My mom struggled to get pregnant with me and the moon goddess would not have blessed a Luna and Alpha with only a single, female child if I weren’t capable of taking the role I was born to hold. I am Loreign Leann Leake, the next Alpha of the Blood River pack. Goodbye for now, Alpha Reign I close my diary and place it back in the top drawer of my black, glass top desk, I stretch out in my tall leather computer chair and look up passed the two black chairs in front of me to the analog clock on the wall it's just before 5:15 a.m. I stand up facing the grey walk that was previously behind me and I stretch before pushing in my chair. I walk around my desk to the door and walk across the hall to the double doors that lead into my bedroom. I open them and take in the beautiful site of my new room, tonight will be my first time in my new room. The renovations on my room and office were finished late last night and this morning I could not wait to come up here and look around when I woke up. My room and office have a penthouse feel to them, which is just what I wanted and since they are both corner rooms, they both have 2 walls that are nothing but windows. They both have grey walls and dark wood floors, some might say boring, but I say clean and sleek. The office has more of a flat and plain look though I plan to put in a little color later with accessories and pictures . My room on the other hand has already been put together with yellow and blue pillows on my L shaped couch and the papasan chair that sits in front a row of windows and the fireplace in the back of the room, the way it is set up makes a square shape with the couch floating in the middle of the floor and the chair in front of the windows with a bookshelf next to it already filled with mystery novels, poetry, and fantasy stories. My king-sized bed has a dark wood frame and is perfectly made with blue sheets and a grey comforter with yellow throw pillows. I take it all in as I turn to walk into my modern bathroom, I strip down and I open the glass door to the shower and turn the water on. I wash myself up quick and rinse off before turning the water off and stepping out. I dry off and wrap myself in a towel before walking out of the bathroom and into my closet. Even though I hated packing, I’m glad I did a couple weeks ago because they were able to set my closet up for me already. I cycled out the same 8 or 9 outfits for the last few weeks but it was worth it. I grabbed my bright pink sports bra with matching underwear and my black leggings and a pair of black ankle socks that had a pink logo on them. I threw the clothes on and looked at myself in the long mirror that is in the closet. I pull my long wavy auburn hair out of the back of my bra; it falls to the small of my back I’ve thought about cutting it a million times, but I just can’t bring myself to do it yet. I didn’t wash it while in the shower because I was already planning on a going for a run. As I run a brush through my hair to put it into a high ponytail, I can’t help but think of my mother, I can almost see her behind me helping me do my hair for a ball or something and telling me how she loves my hair. When she was pregnant, she prayed that her baby would have auburn hair like her mother did, she missed my grandma so much, I wish I had gotten to meet her. My mom always said that she got the best of both worlds when she had me because I got my grandma’s auburn hair and my dad’s blue eyes both of which she loved so much. Right after she died, I found myself wishing that I had her blonde hair because in my grief-stricken mind, I thought it would make me closer to her somehow but now I know that if I had her hair, I probably wouldn’t be able to look at myself in the mirror the same way, I wouldn’t be able to stand people patronizing me and telling me I look like my mother. I finish tying my wavy hair up and pull my ponytail tight. I then wipe away the few tears I hadn’t realized had fallen on my face and turned away from the mirror. I will not show any weakness outside of this bedroom, my sanctuary. I grabbed my black running shoes and leaned against the doorway of the closet as I slid them on. I stretched to loosen up and grabbed my phone and my wireless headphones, hooked them up to play my music while I stretched in my room. “Time to run?” my wolf Ivory asked in my head. “Yes, but today it’s my turn to run.” I replied. “But-” “No, Ivory. You know that I have to be strong in human form and in wolf form. I let you out for morning runs almost every morning but sometimes I need to run as human,” I reply and she retreats into the back of mind to pout. We’ve had this argument several times since I was 13 and most of the time I cave and let her run but today I needed this. Most people get their wolf at 16 but on my 13th birthday I turned for the first time. My parents asked the doctor why, but he did not know why and so my mom went searching for answers. She later told me I was a special wolf and would have abilities though I do not know where she got her information. I finished stretching and left my room and went downstairs, before taking off I looked at my phone. It is 5:24 so I wait for it to change to 5:25 on the dot and take off, I do this to see how long it will take me to run the route I take in human form. As I get about halfway through my run, I pick up a foul odor and stop to look around. “Smells like a rouge” I say to Ivory. “I smell blood too.” She responds back to me.