Breaking Barriers

Devastated

Each day is a brand new day. It’s too fast, seems like it’s just yesterday that I woke up with heavy heart due to my previous relationship and now I am into a happy relationship. It is summer break. I already graduated in highschool. Since my parents cannot afford to send me to College so it is expected that I don’t go to School this School year.

It’s 6 in the morning and I am wide awake. I am still lying on my bed and look at the ceiling. Thought comes into my mind. We are poor and John is from rich family. I never thought that it is possible for a simple girl like me to be in a relationship with the person like him. I know it will be a bit complicated and I don’t know yet that he will be the person I am going to marry one day. I know that I am not going to meet his family yet. Maybe we will broke up after a few months. I should not complicate things family meet up will not going to happen. I will just enjoy life that we are still in a relationship. I get up from that thought when my phone rings. I look at my phone screen and saw John’s name. My man is calling. I press the answer button right away. “Good Morning Babe” I said. “Good Morning! I missed you already can we just live together so that I can always hug and kiss you? I wanted to marry you so that you can always be with me.” John said. “Hahhaaha that’s not possible and please erase that thought we are too young and we still need to enjoy life. You know I am the eldest and my family still needs me.” I understand Babe I am just kidding” hahahaha I am laughing as well. “Babe I should see you tonight” John said. “Yes at 7pm” I answered. We both said Bye and hang up the phone.

As usual it is a busy day at home. While I am so busy taking care of my siblings I heard my neighboor calling. Lyn hurry! Your Mom gets into fight. She is so drunk right now. I sighed..I told Anne my 9 year old sister to look after my other younger siblings. We are four my other sister is Joy which is 8 and Love which is 5 years old. I go with my neighboor to my Mom’s location. I heard her curse and bad mouthed her enemy now. I saw scratch in her arms and neck also her enemy have a lot of scratch. I walk to where is my Mom standing and approach her. I ask her to go home because they are already making scene. A lot of people is watching them now. Mama madly looking at me. She walks fast on our way home while I am at her back. My life is so miserable because of her. I have to admit that some of the boys who knows us they tried to court me in a sense that are not serious because they thought that I am not worth of their respect because my Mom is like that. One of the guy even told me that what is the tree is what should be the fruit. Since my Mom is like that I am also like that. When we reach home Mom go to the kitchen ang throw things. Glasses were broken and some plates. My sisters are now crying because they are so scared. I hug them and I burst out of anger. I shouted at my Mom and demanded her to stop because the kids are shaking in fears. She stops and walk straight to their room. I ask the kids to go to my room because I need to clean my Mom’s mess and it is not safe for them to walk in the kitchen because there’s a lot of broken glass. So the kids stayed in my room while I am cleaning the kitchen. It is already 3pm when I am finish cleaning the kitchen because I made sure that there’s no broken glass. I walk to my room and when I open the door I saw that my sisters are sleeping now. I sit beside them and watch them sleeping. I realize how hard our life is. We are so miserable because of what my Mom did to us. I am crying because I feel pity for my sisters to experience this at the young age. What will gonna happen to them if I am no longer with them? We don’t know what will gonna happen the next day. While I am crying I told God that we are not complaining of how hard is our life in terms of food and other necessity but having this problem with my Mom is unbearable. I can handle everything because I already used to it but my sisters are still young to have this trauma. What if John knows what kind of life we have? Is he still wanted to be with me? John knows that we are poor but he don’t know that our reputation is totally damage. I decided to let John know of this while it is early so that he can decide if we will continue or not. Sometimes I need to accept the fact that I cannot be happy. I need to save my heart early from the damage of heartbreak if John decide not to continue our relationship because of my family background.