Holy Lies with Sinful Vows

KABANATA 01

( COLLEGE DAYS )

“Sundo mo andyan na.” Sambit ni Saraiah sabay nguso kay Noah na nasa hamba ng pintuan at halatang naiinip.

“Hayaan mo siyang mag hintay.” Sambit ko at tinalikuran ang pintuan kung saan nakasandal si Noah.

“Ano nanamang trip niyo?” Napapa iling na sambit ni Saraiah sa akin.

“Wala, nababadtrip ako e.” Tumatawa kong sambit.

“Palagi ka naman atang bad trip basta nakita mo siya.” Taas kilay na sambit ni Ryen.

“Tumpak.” Tumatawa kong sambit.

“Hayaan niyo mag hintay. Umalis siya kung di niya ko kayang hintayin, wala akong pake.” Kibit balikat kong sambit.

“Himala at maaga uwian nila.” Sambit ni Ryen.

“Tuesday ngayon, wala na halos afternoon at evening classes yan.” Sambit ko.

“Naks naman sa so called enemies, kabisado ang schedule.” Sambit ni Ryen habang nag tataas baba ang kaniyang kilay.

“Hindi ba pwedeng sanay lang? Ayan nanaman kayo sa tamang hinala niyo.” Taas kilay kong sambit dahilan para ikatawa nila.

“Wala kaming sinasabi, defensive ka masyado.” Sambit ni Ryen habang tumatawa saka nakipag apir kay Saraiah.

“Oh Ignazio, bakit ka nandito?” Gulat na sambit ng aming Prof.

“Woops! Kilala siya.” Tumatawang bulong ni Ryen sabay ngisi kay Saraiah kaya napairap ako.

“No classes Maam. Am I allowed to sit in?” Tanong ni Noah dahilan para tumaas ang aking kilay.

“Sit in.” Nag pipigil na sambit ni Saraiah.

“Hindi pala mahihintay ah? Well? Sit in ka ngayon.” Natatawang dagdag ni Ryen, halatang nang aasar at natutuwa.

“Yes, you can sit beside Ms. Morvan.” Sambit ni Prof na mas ikinagulat ko.

Napalingon naman ako sa buong room at saktong sa katabi ko nalang ang may available seat since lumipat si Saraiah sa tabi ni Ryen ng hindi ko napapansin.

“Hoy gaga bumalik ka ditto.” Reklamo ko sabay hitak sa braso ni Saraiah ngunit ngumiti lang siya at tumango.

“Mag tabi kayo ng frenemy mo.” Biro niya saka nakipag apir kay Ryen. Amats talaga ngdalawa na ‘to. Ako nanaman ang bunot.

Habang nag kaklase ay hindi ko maiwasang mawala sa focus. This is the reason kung bakit ayokong nakakatabi ‘to.

Bukod sa hindi ako maka focus ay pakiramdam ko anytime makikipag talon a siya sa akin.

“Who knows the answer?” Rinig kong sambit ni Prof.

“Si Annaya at Noah po.” Malakas na sigaw ni Saraiah at Ryen kaya sabay kaming napalingon sa dalawang nasa likod naming.

Masama ang tingin ko sa dalawa habang si Noah ay napataas ang dalawang kilay at mukhang nagulat.

“Ohh, interesting.” Sambit ni Prof. Mukhang alam ko na ang susunod na mangyari.

“Let’s try it in a debate form.” Sambit niya kaya napabuntong hininga ako.

“Ayan na, masaya yan.” Excited na sambit ni Saraiah kaya napairap ako.

“Is it okay for the both of you?” Tanong ni Prof at syempre, sino kami para humindi?

“Goodluck.” Tumatawang sambit ni Noah. Alam ko takbo ng utak niya at wala pa man din ay naiinis na ako. Marunong pa naman ito makipag laro sa mga points.

“The topic is… As fresh a graduate, where is it better to begin your career? In a start-up or in a stable, established company?”

One thing about me and Noah ay hindi nag kaka pareho an gaming stand up, palaging saliwa o tagilid sa isa’t isa kaya madalas ay nagiging mag kaaway talaga kami.

“Good afternoon. I'm Noah, and as someone who's dreamed of building something meaningful, I stand for start-ups. Fresh grads should go where they can grow fast, fail forward, and learn everything, like in a start-up.”

“Hi everyone, I’m Annaya, and while start-ups may sound exciting, I believe stability gives structure. In an established company, you learn from the best. You’re guided. You grow without chaos. It's a safe investment for your future.” Seryoso kong sambit habang naka taas ang kanang kilay sa napiling stand ni Noah.

“Nice, mag kaiba agad ng stand.” Nakangiting sambit ni Prof at mukhang hinihintay ang mangyayari.

“Safe? That’s the problem. Growth shouldn’t be comfortable. Sa start-up, you’re not just one role, you’re the marketing team, HR, logistics, even janitor minsan. But that’s the point, you learn by doing. You’re part of something being born. Isn’t that exciting?” Nakangiting sambit ni Noah, doon palang alam kong nag sisimula na siyang mamikon.

Napa taas ang kilay ko, “Exciting? Or exhausting?” Bahagya akong napatawa.

“Start-ups often lack structure, benefits, and worse, job security. You’re building someone else's dream on unstable ground. While you’re multitasking, someone in a stable firm is getting trained, mentored, and paid properly.” Seryoso kong sambit habang titig na titig sa kaniyang mata. I am starting to lose my patience, kakasimula palang ng debate.

“E ‘di wow, structured lahat. Pero sa sobrang structure, minsan you become just another employee number. In a start-up, you’re not just seen, you’re felt. Your voice matters. Parang pag-ibig. Mas masarap kapag pinipili ka araw-araw, hindi dahil required, kundi dahil mahalaga ka.” Sambit ni Noah dahilan para mag react an gaming mga kaklase.

Kitang kita ko rin sa peripheral view ko kung paano mag hagikgikan ang dalawa kong kaibigan na si Ryen at Saraiah dahil sa debate na ‘to.

“Wow, naging love life bigla?” Nakangiti kong sambit.

“Pero sige. Let’s use your analogy. Love is like business too, na dapat may security, may clear goals, and may solid foundation. Kung feelings lang ang basehan, baka matulad ka lang sa isang start-up na nalugi dahil puro passion pero walang plan.” Kibit balikat kong sambit at bahagyang sumandal sa table na nasa aking likuran.

“Ouch.” Sambit niya at umaktong nasasaktan pa. “Passion without planning, huh? That hit me harder than this Business Law exam.” Nakangisi niyang sambit muli dahilan para matawa nanaman ang lahat, including our Prof.

“But I get your point. Still, I’d rather fail early and learn fast than stay comfortable forever. Kasi minsan, kahit secured ka na, parang walang spark. Walang kilig.” Sambit niya.

“You mean “stable is boring”? Hindi ah. Stability can be exciting, too, especially when you know what you’re working toward. A stable company has career ladders, growth plans, and best of all... performance bonuses. I love me some kilig in my payslip.” Tumatawa kong sambit.

“Fair! But in start-ups, there's equity, ownership, and freedom. Imagine building something from scratch. Every win feels personal. It’s like when you work hard to earn someone’s love and not because you had to, but because you chose to.” Seryoso niyang sambit.

Hindi agad ako naka sagot dahil napaisip ako. Bakit parang may pinag huhugutan ang mokóng na ‘to?

“And what if it crashes? Start-ups have a 90% failure rate. Imagine giving your heart, este, your skills to a company that shuts down after six months. What happens to your resume? To your dreams? To your... broken heart?” Sambit ko sa mapang asar na tono. Alam kong mapapaiwas siya ng tingin kaya mas tinitigan ko pa siya lalo.

“So… ayaw mo na talaga masaktan, noh?” Mapang asar na sambit ni Noah habang bahagyang nakangisi.

“But risk is part of success and love. If you always choose what's safe, baka ma-miss mo ‘yung something or someone na worth it. Just like you, Annaya. You’re stable, smart, structured… pero minsan naiisip ko, what if may start-up din tayong dalawa?” Hindi ko magets kung seryoso ba si Noah o nang aasar.

“Kyaaah!” Rinig kong impit na tili ng mga girls habang ang boys ay inaasar kami.

“Namumula namumula.” Biro ni Ryen kaya napataas ang aking kilay.