#Real identity of life.

Born in a family of three children. Raised with both mother and father. As the first born, the best we'll do is not only study the world for you, but for your siblings too. Parents might have their own share of the world but no one is said to know everything. I was raised in a Christian home and in the middle nothing happened for I'm still dedicated to my Bible. Twenty years have passed and I had my own share of downfalls and ups. My sister came six years after and it was only normal that I felt somehow kept aside but my father was a very hard-working guy and I never felt anything being a miss. My youngest sibling, my brother came thirteen years after and I had just gotten to boarding school, I never had the chance to feel if my sister too had her share of feeling left out. Boarding came with setbacks. No sooner had I joined boarding school, did my father lost his job, not only did my grandmother pass away. It was the same year my brother came to the world, don't forget that Jesus brings and takes. My dad felt that his world came crumbling down and for the first time did I see him defeated. That's why you have a family. You are the only one who can tell of when they are disappointed, not because you can only see it but because you feel it too. My family is such that have feelings but no one will want to give in to their feelings. We are all the same. It's more of a challenge than a blessing. Everyone craves for feelings, everyone wants to get to that home where all kind of questions are asked. How was your day?, how did your interview go? Who have you met today?. My family is so much cute for all the questions will be asked but the answers will be so straight forward. Ask me how my day was and I'll be very happy to answer that my day was so good. I'll be happy that the day was good but what will scare me is, what about the day which not everything will be good and maybe something will go amiss, will I still really answer that my day was good? let's see how that goes, It's an evening, I'm tired, maybe I'm from the studio recordings and I just want to come to the house, shower, have something to eat and rest for the next day. In between having a rest, my mother asks how my day was and I tell her of how I've gone to the studio and managed to get some tracks on the social media, "did you study today?", that was so much of telling her happily about my music. "yes, I studied in the morning before going to the studio." Daddy arrives and asks how my day was, "my day was good and I also went to the studio to get some of my tracks edited." "Good job my daughter, how about your studies? ", "my studies are still going on, online classes are going on well. " It's obvious to you that I had a conversation with one parent and a mere talk with the other parent. Our parents should be our best teachers. For my side, I feel like there's a side of the world which cares and another side of the world which just waits till the time you'll make it for them to excel through your name. I feel like I'm in the middle of an edge. Excelling is the key and that is everyone's will. Is everyone waiting for you to succeed for them to show you care?. Care was shown to you from the day you were born but if you dig in between the days well, there was that one person who pretended to be for you even when you had gotten your worst grade but there was that one person who was for you both when you had excelled and when you were defeated. My mother never had a problem cooking for my father everytime he came home late or early. I started noticing the difference between love and responsibility the period my dad went to work in Nanyuki. My mother kind of showed us who the boss is and stopped doing everything like it's her responsibility, I understand that I'm a twenty year old daughter and my responsibility is to make sure I do all the chores. I have a fourteen years old sister but I never tell her to do any chores. Is she lucky? or was she born to just sit down. One day I came to see how I'll not spend the whole of my life under my father's roof and I asked myself, who will do the chores then. The last time this house had a housekeeper was three years ago, before the corona pandemic, I was at school and my mother was at home with only my brother to feed. I don't know if they keep each other company by having a chat, by the way they live when I'm around, I can say my brother is lucky for having a friend of his age as his neighbour. Otherwise, he would be keeping all his playing skills to himself ?. Having a talkative relative is a blessing. We are talkative but the only talkable subject my mother would give you was of how our neighbor got pregnant or of how your friends parent got ordained to be a church elder. Daddy was a complete silent person and he will prefer getting lost in a book or a newspaper. He won't have a story afterwards but at least he doesn't have to keep shouting all over of who should clean up the utensils while she is on her phone. Are we already living in the generation they are warning us about? Luck to those who have been born in the era where their families were struggling to put up a business. Being shouted at for a customer has arrived in the premises is more reasonable. My father opened not one business to raise but I'm not if the mistake was made when my mother failed to get to work at 7 as instructed by her boss, or if customers just never got to find themselves at my father's business. My mother almost everyday got to work at earliest ten and at that time it was a hotel business which needs to be prepared for even before the first customer came in at around six. My father would employ some other employees who never lasted. Afterwards, my mother never lacked something to say about them. Most of the employees were females. " uyo ata alikuwa ashaanza kuniongelea vibaya kwa babako." was the main reason I heard her say ?. I looked at how the employees tried their best and went to work so early in the morning and my mother who came to work at the time she wanted and I just feel pity for them. Maybe my mothers accusations were right about them, but what does it cost to appreciate someone else especially when talking to your own daughter. I was a child by then, and the good thing I would have expected for my mother to give me as to why an employee has gone was maybe, " let's hope she gets a better place than here now that she has left us. " that information will lead to me to even get to want the business to get better. Feelings she thinks with so much positivity would actually help me feel the urge to say. " I wish we get that better like she wanted to work for." That's a step of progress. Every worker wants to works at a better place and when you get better everyone will want to work for you. My mother words can also make me think of how my father's workers wanted my dad and that is so inappropriate. Religion is a very good job on it's own, pastors and bishops earn their living by just standing in front of people and interpreting a written script called the Bible. I'm a firm believer of Christ and at that, I believe that judging is a sin and if you truly love the world, you won't be at a place to judge anything which comes from it. The best way to deal with a situation, is fitting in the situation, studying it better and finding the reason why the situation exists in the first place.