FOUND DESIRABLE

Last night my mom told me she had something important to discuss with me before school in the morning, just after she walked her guest out of the house. He was here three times last week, on Tuesday he had dinner with us, on Thursday evening when I got back from school I walked into my mom’s room without knocking and found him with his drawers lying on the bed, he mentioned that she had gone to the pastry shop to get some pastries for dinner then last night on Sunday he spent the entire day in our house, making stupid jokes and putting me through the torture of hearing my mom laugh like a teenage girl who had just gotten her first boyfriend and finds everything he says funny. Her and my dad decided to get a divorce after nearly three years of enduring each other, I knew they became distant after my brother Jasper died in a car accident, he was drunk and driving home from a party my mom disapproved of but he called my dad who was on a work trip and got permission to go, ever since then everything has changed, I think my mom blamed my dad for Jasper death, they both tried to make it work for almost three years after he died and I think they did it because of me, but I hated it, they both were living miserably, my mom started drinking and my dad buried himself in work and I felt like I didn’t just lose Jasper, I lost my parents too, I was so lonely and I barely have friends so I was happy two years ago when they decided to separate. Shortly after my dad moved out of the house my mom started dating other people and they both decided it was right to finalize their divorce. First it was Anthony, they dated for about two months before my mom found out he had a whole family in a different state and broke up with him, then Clever, he was a weird doctor who was in his late forties and had never been married, that one lasted for almost five months but she never told me why they broke up, she only said they weren’t meant for each other, but two weeks later there was a new man, and the next week another, I didn’t even care to remember their names because she told me she wasn’t ready for another relationship and she was just dating and having fun but three months ago she met Henry, he owns a real estate company and was opening a new office in Chicago, she mentioned he is a widower, I think she said his wife died last year due to cancer, if I’m correct it had only been six months after the death of his wife when he started dating my mom and now she has something important to discuss with me, I wonder what it could be. It is Monday morning and I wasn’t excited about going to school, I hated high school and didn’t have any friends but my mom had constantly encouraged me to get through it and promised I was going to have the best time of my life in college, I’m already in my 12th grade and I cannot wait to be done. I got up from my bed and forced myself to take a shower, reminding myself I had just one more year, I got dressed and went downstairs to meet my mom making breakfast, it looked like a feast, was she expecting guests so early. “Hey darling, you’re up, come sit. I made some pancakes, waffle, bacon, eggs and I got some freshly made croissants from the pantry shop down the street, I know you like them, we have some fruits too” “Are we expecting guests?” I asked “All no darling, it’s just me and you today, I wanted you to have a good breakfast today and you could take some to school if you want” This was strange for a lot of reasons, because ever since Jasper died, she barely cooked, and after dad left, she would occasionally make breakfast any day she wasn’t hungover from drinking so much and on some occasions dinner but we ordered food a lot, so this was surprising, I made my way to the dining, sat down and she served my plate and hers too. “I know I haven’t been the best mother to you especially since Jasper died, I want to say I’m so sorry Gen and I promise that I’ll do better from here on darling” “Mom it’s okay, I know what Jasper death did to you” “No Gen it’s not, you lost him too and I wasn’t there for you as a good mother should have been” For a moment I felt seen, the last five years had been lonely, but now I feel like my mom actually sees me, I smiled at her with so much joy and continued to eat breakfast. “Gen I have some important news to share with you too, Henry asked me to marry him last week” Immediately I heard those words I felt my heart break and the feeling of loneliness was back wrapped around me really fast, I just couldn’t believe that she made this about me but the whole time it was just her warming me up for her big announcement, I was hurt but I looked at her and she looked the happiest I’ve seen her in the past five years. “Did you say yes?, I asked” “Ofcourse I did Gen, I think he’s a really good man, he has a son too so you can have a sibling, someone to talk to and go out with, I know you’ve been lonely” “Please don’t make this about me mom” “Okay, I love him and I want us to be a family, a complete family, we can be happy again Genevieve darling and leave everything behind” “Leave everything behind, what does that even mean mom” “Henry wants us to move to Florida and live together, he’s rounding up with the new office in two weeks and wants us to leave together” “Mom it’s my last year in school” “What does it matter, you hated your school anyway, you would finish 12th grade in your new private school in Florida, Henry already made some calls and they’re happy to have you and already expecting you. You could make new friends there and start afresh” I wanted to be angry with her for deciding to just leave everything behind but she was right, dad was barely ever in town because of work, it wouldn’t make any difference whether I was in Chicago Or Florida, he would come to see me only when he had break from work and spend two or three days in town before taking the next available flight go God knows where, and I had no friend apart from my Mai from 6th grade, she left the country in 10th grade and we’ve been keeping in touch through video calls and texts. I didn’t know how to feel. “I’m happy for you mom, but I’m getting late for school” I responded I got up and went to the sink, washed my hands and carried my bag pack, I didn’t know what to say and I honestly never really expressed my feelings , I was ready to go to school “Alright darling, we will talk more about it when you get back, have a nice day”