Romance Is Boring

You! Me! Dancing!

The same day. St Jude's apartment.

-How do I look?- Zero asked, pressing his palm flat at his scalp and sliding his hand back to smooth down his hair.

-Prety.- Jude flippantly answered- You always look pretty. Why are you consulting me?

Zero-turn to grim at him.

- You're the one us going to be looking at me.- he replied. Jude raised an eyebrow.

-I see myself two times a day.- he explained patiently- When I'm brushing my teeth in the morning and when I'm brushing my teeth I'm the evening.

-Like you don't stop in front of every shop window to admire yourself.- Jude scoffed. Zero toughs he sounded hilariously catty. Kind of like how he sounded at Lionel's wedding when he'd nonchalantly told a girl who was hitting on Zero that the man in question had crabs. It was funny because it was Jude and he was f*****g adorable when attempted to be snide.

-There's much to admire.- Zero agreed, smirking. Jude scowled. It was so easy to wind him up. They made their way downstairs in total silence.

-I don't even know where we are going.- Jude complained in the car, breaking the silence.

-You'll see.- Zero cryptically responded, changing the side mirrors for traffic and checking out Jude in one fell swoop. Jude looked fine. Good enough to eat. He dresses shirt gave away tantalizing glimpses of the body underneath every time he moved. It was clear that there were some serious muscles on him.

Jude also looked incredibly nervous. His eyes were bright with anxiety. He couldn't stop fiddling with his seatbelt. Seriously, he was behaving like as if he was afraid that the night ended up with him dead in a hole in the desert.

-Why are you always so tense?- Zero asked- You're going to give yourself a heart attack one of these days.

Jude didn't respond, except by peering out of the window and trying to guess where they were going. When Zero stopped the car and got out, Jude uncertainty followed. Zero pointed at the entrance of a club.

- A gay club? Are you kidding?- Jude snapped

- It's for you. Because you're the best agent ever.

- I'll take a check instead, thanks.

-Relax. I'll be fun.- Zero promised. Unconvinced, Jude nodded. Zero laughs. Jude narrowed his eyes, he looked so much like Lionel at that moment that Zero shivered.

- Is this your wrapped idea of a date?- Jude inquired. Zero sighed. Was this going to become a regular thing? Was Jude going to pounce on he said and did to prove that there is something more between them? Of course, there was, but was as far as it was going to go. No dating, no relationship, which was nom- negotiable. It was a setup or down for abort, abort, but it was still annoying as f**k.

-It's not a date if the other one is trying to get the other laid.- Zero pointed out

-What?- Jude protested, outraged. Zero slipped the doorman a fifty and pushed Jude inside. He had been thinking this for a while. Jude needed some experience and Zero would function as a supervisor of shorts. Just to guide things in the right direction. The right direction begins a series of one-night stands. Nothing serious.

The thumping beat and flickering lights assaulted them immediately. Heads turned. Eyes followed them. It was hot inside the club. Within seconds, Zero was surrounded by a flock of admirers. Jude rolled his eyes and made his way tough the crowd to the bar.

Zero kept him in sight at all times, while extracting himself from goopy hands and hungry eyes by loudly announcing that he was taken. Jude had ordered two beers and was looking around when Zero sidled up to him.

-See anything you like?- Zero asked, wagging his eyebrows. Jude nearly did a spit take at the question.

-Huh?- has all he managed

-Pick a guy. Take him home. Live a little. - Zero suggested

- I don't think so.- Jude disagreed. In response, Zero turned to the nearest guy and put on the charm

-Have you met Jude? Jude needs to get laid. - Zero said. Jude stared at him in disbelief for a second before walking away. Zero apologetically smirks at the confused guy and tailed Jude.

Subtly when scheming made sense to Zero. Scheming relied on subtlety. Zero just didn't see the point of subtlety when it comes to s*x. You want s*x, you stay with what you want, the other person gives it to you or not. Pretty simple. The games took too long and were boring. Like romance. All the uncertainty and the guessing were not Zero's thing.

-Are you deliberately cockblocking me?- Jude accused, not stopping, not looking back, just arguing over his shoulders as he kept walking. As if he knew I follow him, Zero tough.

-I'm not cockblocking you.- Zero objected- In fact, some might say I'm doing the same opposite of cockblocking you.

-Do you not get that I don't want you to be my wingman?

- What's the problem?

- I don't want to sleep with some random guy ...

- You should. It would be good for you.

- ... especially not one you handpicked for me.

- Why not? I've got good taste.

- Well, I'm not going to.- Jude shouted, finally turning around. The "not with you here" wasn't explicit, but was implied and Zero knew it. He was fully aware that Jude wasn't going to off with some guy right under his nose. He knew that he was just his presence at the club counted was cockblocking.

-Okay, then. Want me to get us another beer? - Zero asked, noticing that they've almost reached the end of the bar.

-No.

-At least dance.- Zero insisted. Jude lowered the bottle he was holding and stared at Zero.

- This is us being bothies, right? - Jude inquiries

-Right.

- That doesn't seem like something bothies old do, though.

Suddenly, Zero realized that Jude thought that he'd meant for them to dance together. This was the point where Zero should have left, but something stopped him. He hasn't gone to name it, because - goodman - he couldn't believe that he was doing this for Jude. He placed his beer at the bar.

- I think we're safe as long we don't slow dance.- Zero explained, sardonically- Come on, dance with me.

Jude shrugged and gave in. They danced. Jude's dancing was embarrassing. The guy adds no moves. No rhythm. No noting. After a while, Zero couldn't bear it anymore. With Jude's permission, he pushed carefully at Jude's shoulders and waist to try and make something of it, but Jude remained hopeless. Others snickered as they watched them. Jude did it on purpose. Probably because he was a huge goofball underneath all that pent up tension.