Romance Is Boring

Tiptoe through the true bits

The same night. In the car in front of Jude's apartment building.

-There's no reason why you and I should be alone tonight.- Zero said. Jude was slightly drunk and was trying to parse that sentence. Was it the obvious come-on it seemed or was it just a suggestion to hang out together?

-Still not a date, Jude.- Zero smirked

-Invitation to have s*x?- Jude inquired dryly. Zero smirked and shook his head

-Invitation to order takeout and watch a movie. In your apartment, since we're already here.

Jude beckoned for him to come up. They called to order takeout- Vietnamese- and settled down on the couch. Zero saw that Jude was in danger of sobering up again. It was evident in the gradual tightening of his body. His movements grew less loose. He was slowly becoming controlled again. Like one of those jack-in-a-box toys that were being forced back into the box.

-You need a beer.- Zero decided. He brushed against Jude while getting up and Jude tensed even further.

Jesus, Zero though. What was that? Was he making Jude uncomfortable by being this close? Was Jude afraid to get jumped? Or was it plain old unreleased s****l tension?

-Here.- Zero said, offering Jude a beer.

Jude tried to accept it without making physical contact, but Zero - not liking the awkwardness between them at all - pressed the bottle into Jude's hands while making sure that their fingers touched. Jude reacted by twitching. Zero ignored that and turned on the Tv.

Nothing was going on.

Naturally. Normal people were out having fun or at home "having fun".

Zero zapped for a minute before turning off the Tv and adjusting his body to the couch so that he was facing his friend. Jude looked like he was about to have a fit at their proximity. Zero rolled his eyes. The food wasn't there yet and there was nothing else to do but talk. Well, they could f**k, but they weren't doing that. No fun allowed.

-I ran into Lionel the other day. She doesn't like me, does she?- Zero inquired. Jude snorted. The comment about Lionel appeared to have restored his equilibrium. To a degree, anyway.

-Understatement.- Jude responded. As soon as he had drained his bottle, he got them both new ones.

They drank in silence for a while, taking turns getting up for drinks. Jude was finishing beers at record speed and visibly uncoiling. Zero shuffled nearer. His knees gazed at Jude's knee, which caused Jude to look up.

He didn't seem alarmed, just confused. Zero couldn't detect any of Jude's precious nervousness now.

-You're very close.- Jude pointed out. Zero grinned. It was an innocent, yet suggestive grin. Zero was a master at this. He had the heart of a hustler.

-Am I?

-Yeah.- Jude said, nodding and looking somewhat amused. He took another swig from his bottle.

-Hmm, I don't know how that happened.- Zero claimed, acting as if him practically sitting in Jude's lap was some sort of weird accident that had nothing to do with him.

-Sure.- Jude replied. He might as well have said "bullshit". That was plainly what he meant. Zero didn't understand why it made him feel so good that Jude could see right him, but it did. It should have been scary, but, inexplicably, it wasn't. Thought it did beg the question: why was Jude desperate to get to know him? Jude already knew him.

-So you saw Lionel?- Jude prodded

- We had an interesting conversation.- Zero vaguely described. He watched his agent carefully, but again there were no signs that indicated that Jude knew that he had been the subject of that conversation.

-And you get the impression that she didn't like you?- Jude asked, opening another beer. Lionel had said that she hated Zero, so, yeah, you could indeed say that she had given him the idea that she disliked him. Zero chucked.

-No one likes me very much.- he observed. It wasn't a complaint or a plea for sympathy. Zero didn't expect Jude to deny it. Okay, maybe he just wanted to be contradicted a little bit. Maybe he was hoping to hear Jude say that there was at least one person who liked him. Who knows me and still likes me, Zero realized.

-Hey, I love you.- Jude replied, immediately realizing his mistake and attempting to correct it.- Like you. I like it. s**t.

Someone knocked on the door at that moment, which allowed Zero to pretend that he hadn't heard that. The food had arrived. They tucked in. Jude anxiously glanced at Zero now and then, but Zero pretended not to be aware of that either. Eventually, Jude stopped, but once again things were tense as hell. The meal was excruciating and it was all Jude's fault.

Zero tried to be unlovable, so why did Jude love him? You are supposed to reap what you sow. People are not supposed to love assholes. Zero had tried to be unlovable, why couldn't Jude do the same?

Oh, shut the f**k up, you i***t, Zero though. Stop thinking and say it! You've been terrified for far too f*****g long. It's Jude. It's Jude, for f**k's sake! Tell him how you feel! Just f*****g say it back.

But he couldn't... he couldn't say it, and it pissed him off to no end.

-I almost spelled with Danny.- he suddenly said. Jude didn't even stop eating. He looked completely unshocked.

-I know. Lionel told me.

Zero first thought was that it was nice Lionel was such a loyal friend to Jude. His second thought was: that traitorous b***h! She straight-up lied to his face.

-What did she say?

-She said she caught you trying to hook up with him. She's very serious about me. Protective I mean.- Jude explained

-I got that.- Zero exclaimed -We throw parties, she throws knives.

Jude nodded, as if that made sense.

-Why didn't you confront me about it?- Zero questioned. It must have bothered Jude, but he hadn't behaved any differently towards Zero afterward. Jude shrugged.

-It's none of my business who you have s*x with. I have to admit that it threw me for a loop, though. Danny doesn't seem like your type.

-I wasn't his type either. He wasn't even remotely interested in me. He kept asking about you.- Zero confessed, bumping his shoulder into Jude's causing Jude to spill some of his beer. Simultaneously, they set aside their bottles and rose from the couch. Jude wobbled. He reached for Zero to keep from falling over while Zero reached out to steady him. They ended up holding each other's shoulders.

-Sorry.- Jude muttered, withdrawing his hands. That did not go well. Jude reeled again, but he managed to grab a hold of Zero. This time, in response, Zero put his hands over Jude's hands. They were standing pretty close together. Neither of them moved.

I am holding my breath, Zero registered with surprise. Jude looked completely bewildered.

-Are he having a moment?- he asked - It feels like we are having a moment.

He wasn't teasing or mocking or anything like that. He was genuinely asking and telling. Real, honest-to-God intimacy loomed. Zero couldn't stand it, he couldn't bear Jude's sincerity, so he raised an inquisitive eyebrow. It was perfect for feigning ignorance while, at the same time, it kept his options wide open. Even drunk, Jude had no trouble recognizing it for the disingenuous gesture it was. Did he sigh with... disappointment, resignation, anger? Zero wasn't certain.

-I'm tired.-Jude announced, slowly lowering himself back to the couch and wearily looking at Zero, as if to say " why are you still here?"  Zero didn't blame him. Jude kept giving him chance after chance only for Zero to pass up on every one of them.

-You're right. It's late. I should be getting home.- Zero agreed, feeling like an asshole. Was this really how it was going to be from here on out? How long would he be able to keep this up? Less than one more day as it turned out.