A Thousand Wishes.

221 days

PART II: Heartbreak

Two hundred and twenty-one days have passed since that night happened. I've gone through many stages of Hating you. 

Worrying about you. Wondering if you're dead. 

Wondering if you're alive. Pretending you're dead. Wishing for your presence. All while still loving you. It's torture.

I don't know if I should give up.

Or if I should keep waiting for you. 

Because a part of me feels that I will never find anybody like you. Nobody's going to look at me the way you did. Nobody's going to touch me the way you did. 

Nobody's going to care about me the way you did. And nobody's going to understand me the way you do. Every time I talk to someone new, I compare them to you. I know that's wrong, but it's true and I can't help it.

That's when I start to believe that they're not good enough for me. 

Because I need to find somebody that's so good that they make me forget about you... I know that's not fair and I think that's what keeps me from letting people in. 

I put this steel cage around my heart when you left me, and you're the only one with the key to open it. I just wish you would talk to me. 

I wish you would tell me to move on, but your silence speaks louder than words. It drives me crazy; leads me to believe that I did something wrong, but I didn't. 

Maybe it's your way of keeping me in the sidelines when things get bad with you and her. I don't see how that's fair, but I love you so much that I don't care. 

I'll take any excuse you give me to come back, so long as I get to see your face again.