Prank Me Love

Broken Promises And Hidden Lies

Just... isn't giving up allowed sometimes? Isn't it okay to say, 'This really hurts, so I'm going to stop trying?"

"It sets a dangerous precedent."

"For avoiding pain?"

"For avoiding life."

― Lines from the novel "Fangirl" by Rainbow Rowell

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN:

"Evan."

The low timbre of that familiar voice gave a little glimmer of hope for me. Finally, he appeared. I had been calling him over and over since yesterday, replaying the record of his voice mail to my ears, only to repeat dialing his number again until my fingers went numb. And for the nth time that I have been trying to reach him... At last... He answered.

"Where are you?" the soft sob that had slipped out of my mouth as I utter the three words didn't escape Evan's knowing as I hear him sighs loudly from the other end.

"Shai, have you been crying? What happened? What's wrong?" he inquires worriedly.

"I should be the one asking you that," I countered back, still ignoring the tears that have been continuously flowing down my cheeks since this morning when I woke up and found myself lost in my own problems again.

James was still nowhere to be found since the last time we've talked yesterday.

"What happened to you? What is going on with Beth? Evan, you gotta tell me the truth." I demand, clutching the sheets of my bed on my side as I scooted to the edge.

"Shai..." he exhales my name, sounding tired and weary. "It's..."

"What? What is it? I don't want to hear any of those bullshit excuses again. I'm getting tired of this game!" I cried, terribly emotional and disoriented. "Please, Evie! Tell me what's going on?!"

Evan sighs heavily again--the sound of puffing air vibrated through the receiver.

"I'm leaving... Parkerville," he finally says.

I stop breathing for a second. He's leaving?

"Why? Is this about Beth?"

"No," he immediately denies in a louder voice, "It's not about that. I... It's just that... It's Dad. He'd gotten a business deal out of town two weeks ago so he's planning to settle us down in California next month. He'll bring us, Shai. The whole family. Of course, you know I didn't like the idea. She wasn't really happy about it. You know how she loves Parkerville, right? Then things got awry at home that's why--"

"Is that the reason why you're fighting with Beth?"

"Shai..." he sighs again.

"I want to know, Eve," I tell him with eagerness. This is the first time I get to talk to him since the moment they've begun fighting. Now, it's my turn to get all the answers I needed. Cause, I at least, deserve that.

"Tell me, please."

"Okay., it wasn't..." he sighs once again.

"Iconfessedtoher," he said the words in one breath after a second. It took quite a minute for me to really processed what he just told me until I finally gasped in shock.

"What? " I exclaimed through the phone, "When? Why?! How?!"

"It was kind of a spur at the moment."

"What do you mean? When did it exactly happen?" I ask, finally getting to see things a little clearer now.

"Three weeks ago, right after I figured out about dad's plan. The last Sunday she would babysit Elena," Evan answers, his voice sounded really sad and weary. I instantly felt pity for him.

"And did you know she's dating some Paul dude?" The poison on his emphasized word was very transparent and clear to my ears. I winced, recalling that very night when Beth had called me to ask some advice for her date.

"I-I'm sorry, Eve," I mumbled back in remorse, "I already knew about the date. I know I should have said something but..."

"I understand," Evan bitterly replies, "It's not like I really have any business with her personal life or something. I'm not her boyfriend, Shai. And I don't get to have a say with what she wants to do and who she wants to date."

"Oh, Eve."

"I know," Evan exhales.

"Guess, this is a dead end for me now. At least, I get to tell her about my feelings, right?" the sound of bitter humor in his voice made me feel sadder.

"Are you really going to leave?" I asked with a worried tone in my words. If Evan is going to leave, will we still go to be able to keep in touch? What will happen to our friendship?

"It's not my choice, Shai," he responds with a heavy sigh, "I think it's just probably the right thing to happen since Beth doesn't want to talk to me anymore."

"Why? Why wouldn't she want to talk to you?"

"Because..." Evan pauses and groans in frustration, "I'm not good enough for her."

"Eve, that's not true."

"It's true."

"Why would you even say that? You and I both know how much for over the years, you've been trying to win her over."

"I'm a douche," Evan counters.

"Eve."

"I kissed Sally."

"Right," I dryly answered back, I already knew that, "And that was a mistake once upon many years ago. We already moved on from that."

"No, Shai," Evan still insists, "I kissed Sally... Two weeks ago."

"What?!" I frown, utterly surprised and confused by that confession. Evan remained quiet for a few seconds. The heavy air hummed between us on the line.

"It was a mistake, I swear. I thought she was Beth," he explains softly with a sound of regret in his voice.

"But..."

"I know, I regret it. Damn, Shai." he goes on, "I don't know what to do. I wish I could rewind all of this then go back from the start when everything was still okay."

I sigh back heavily. I know that kind of feeling.

"Me too, Eve." I agreed, sounding so sad, "I'm wishing the same thing too."

"I'm really sorry for not being there for you these past few days, Shai," Evan says sometime later through the silence between us. "I'm sorry for being a shitty friend." His voice laced with concern and worry, and most of all, like regret.

"Don't say that," I tell him back, "You're not a shitty friend. You've been the best, Evan. Though I still hope this is not for goodbye..."

"Of course, not. I'll still be Eve even in California. I'd still keep in touch even if it'll annoy the hell out of you. I still will."

"I know," I sorrily smile down to the receiver, feeling emotional, "I know you will."

"Come to Benny's tonight, Shai," he suddenly invites with desperation. Benny's is the pub for young people near the town's plaza where Evan, Beth, and I used to hang out every summer. "I want to have some fun time with my girl before I lose my chance and all. Will you come?"

"I'll be there," I say to him, without missing a beat, and then added with a silent prayer, "Would you want me to ask Beth too?"

The silence from Evan's side became so thick for a second that I began wondering if he had hung up on me.

"I don't know... But if you can bring her... Why not?"

I knew it. He's still hoping. And I have to do something to fix this distance between the two of them.

"Okay," My mood instantly getting better. "Then see you there at eight."

"See you too, Shai." And he hangs up, leaving me hoping I could make Beth go with me tonight.

Surprisingly it was, Beth wasn't really very much hard to please this day. When I came over to their place after my call with Evan to ask her personally, she let me in. Then I went on explaining Evan's side and at the same time, I also apologized about our incident the other day which Beth eventually accepted right after with a reluctant smile. We talked more and compromised, leaving us teary-eyed in the end as we hugged each other, promising we will never fight again.

I felt better after that, knowing that our friendship still isn't crumbling down after all. I stayed at Beth's to get ready and drive her to Benny's to meet Evan. Even when things had already cleared with them, I still can't erase the numbness I feel inside my chest whenever I think of James. To be honest, I keep on worrying about him. He's been all I ever think about since yesterday. Unfortunately, I still haven't seen a glimpse of his shadow nor even a sound of his presence.

I'm already missing him... Terribly. But I don't know where to find him this time.

When evening came, I drive Belle with Beth at the passenger seat, to Benny's to grant my promise to Evan. When we came there, we find him sitting at our usual table near the jukebox at the right corner of the bar. I wave at Evan and he waves back with a smile, and I quickly sauntered my way there, tugging a hesitant Beth behind me.

"Smile, Beth," I turn and whisper to her, just when we were about to get close to the table. She flashes me a small grin and takes a deep breath with a huff.

Evan watches us, his big smile never disappearing on his face as he gestures to the seat across from him. I push Beth to the spot next to him and settle myself in front of the two of them, trying to act like everything is very normal and their fight and awkwardness never existed.

"So!" I jovially exclaimed with a clasp of my both hands, "Let's get our usuals! Evan?"

Evan did the honors as he calls up Nicole, the waitress who always serves us, and recited our meals at her--just like he always does before. I gave Beth a cheer-up smile from my seat and she reciprocates it with a small nod.

"You know what?" I say just after Nicole leaves to get our orders, "I think I might just go over the jukebox and play something on. I'm weirdly in the mood for some grooving now. You two have some talk first... You both need it."

I quickly stood up, dashing to move away just in case they both try to stop me but aside from nervous faces and reluctant expressions they've given me, they just watched me leave in silence.

I sigh in relief when I finally reached the jukebox and pretended to look down on the list. I peek at them after a moment and saw that they're now talking... Good. That's some progress. I really hope they could finally fix whatever it was that's keeping them apart. When I was sure enough that they won't end up in a quarrel, I turn back to my situation.

I look down on the jukebox again and was already planning to leave when just out of the blue, I find myself searching for a dime in my pocket, and drop it down the machine. I search for a specific track that my mind seems to be craving for and then after a click...

The Smiths' song plays in the background, a steady beat with a strumming sound, hovers the place around me. Then in an instant, I freeze down on my spot.

A memory flashes before my very eyes. A familiar one...

---FLASH---

The same song plays in the background and I was singing along, two arms wrapped around my body, with hands settled on the small of my back. I had my own arms linked behind a guy's neck, as we dance intimately through the song.

"You're so beautiful, princess." The faceless guy says to me. I leaned closer to him, craning my neck to stare at his face, and breathe in that familiar scent.

"I wish this moment remains forever," he adds, touching his forehead against mine.

"Never forget me," I tell him, my voice sounded different. But I knew it was me. It was very me. "Promise me, to never forget me."

"I won't," he assures me back with a slight squeeze on my waist, his voice was something I've already heard before but was never sure if I was right about it.

"I'll come back and we'll stay together, princess. I promise... I will never forget you..."

---END---

The memory I saw was very real. I had a feeling it was real. I couldn't recall it happening to me, neither a guy like that... Cause I knew it wasn't Peter. Peter wasn't that tall and Peter didn't sound like that.

But a gut feeling tells me, it was James. I felt extremely confused because I just met him and everything in that memory screams PAST. Maybe it's just a daydream, or a confused fantasy that I suddenly had because I terribly miss him and haven't seen him since we fought.

Maybe, that's the reason but still... That memory freaks me out. I spent a long time inside the women's room, trying to contemplate through it and re-organized my anxious mind. After that, I walked out and find Beth and Evan in a very deep conversation, their heads bent low and very close to each other. I decided that it's already time for me to go. This wasn't really a moment for me to intrude so I quickly made my way out of the place, without them noticing and sent a quick message to Beth and Evan that I had some urgent things to do so I'm going home.

I knew they'd already gotten the hint that I was giving them this evening to settle their own matters with each other.

As I drive back to the house, I still couldn't get the memory I had moments before out of my head. My confusion is beginning to go higher and higher, much bigger and bigger, until I parked Belle at the garage, still deep in my thoughts.

When I walked out and went over to the front porch, I didn't enter the house right away as I should do at this time of evening. Instead, I sat on the top of the front stairs, stare from afar, and sigh heavily. The silence and the chill of the wind breezing over me, made me calm my nerves but a soft shuffling sound from my right caught my attention... As I squint through the dim view of the front yard, I find a familiar figure lying down near the fence that borders our house from the next one beside us. 

I stood and walk over there. The darkness made it hard for me to figure who it was.

But then I see him. In a disheveled, troubled, sleeping state, it was him. Grass leaves stuck all over his shirt and his face wore a weary mask. I crouched down beside him, worried with blended emotions.

"Oh, James," I whisper down at him and a soft groan answers me back as he moves slowly to his side with a heavy frown on his face. I brush the hair on his forehead and run my fingers down his cheek.

"Come on, big boy," I tell him, tapping his shoulder as I move to help him get up. "Let's get you to someplace warmer than here."

I try to lift him, smelling the reek of alcohol from his breath as I did, and hugged him for a second once he had finally managed to stand.

"I'm sorry," I say to his shirt, and I gripped him tighter as we sway around, getting some balance through his weight that I'm carrying. He's drunk... And bothered. I wonder if this is because we fought and I felt so guilty.

"I'm so sorry, James," I repeat again and this time, I left a kiss on his neck before I guided him inside the house to nurse his drunkenness.