her sweet chains

Episode 22

“You can leave it you know it wasn’t an order and he won’t know.” Jamie said placidly from the sofa as I growled at the immense pile of ironing. Darius had decided that my attitude proved that I was fine. But of course being my alpha the attitude was not appreciated he was forced to continue to try and improve it. So since I had hung up the phone I had done the laundry, sorted the recycling, Dusted and hovered the entire flat, washed the dishes and cleaned the bathroom.

“He’ll know if I lie.” I grumbled hurriedly ironing Jamie’s shirt. He shrugged and turned his attention back to the television. I took a swig of my vodka lemonade. Well actually it was pretty much vodka, but I couldn’t help it the happy state I had been in a few hours ago where Derek had been completely absent from my thoughts was over he was now consuming them. Darius had assured me that he was alright but shape shifters had a hell of immune system and Derek was tough so I couldn’t help but worry just a little, but I knew better than to try and contact him that wouldn't be appreciated. I took another swig I had learnt that alcohol really helped with those longing pangs I felt for Derek and strangely enough it seemed s*x helped too, but it seemed Derek knew when I f****d someone which was a good thing to be aware of. “You know most people go to university and get away from there parents.” I snarled as I ironed creases into the back of another of Jamie’s shirt.

“Yeah but most people don’t have our hierarchy and your smart mouth.” He said with a small smile, I growled at him. “So your good moods evaporated then.”

“Hmm maybe it’s your effect.” I said tying to control his jeans which were impossibly long.

“Weird though.” he said thoughtfully fixing me with a piecing sort of glance. “Derek goes all funny the same day your stop pining for him.”

“I’m not pining.” I snapped before taking another swig, Damn I hated how perceptive he was.

“Jessica. How many nights have you gone to bed a hundred percent sober.” He said with a significant glance at my glass. f**k! He had obviously been paying a lot more attention than I realised but It was a good thing he didn’t actually know how much I was drinking, as it was maybe a little too excessive but it did stop the pull, or whatever it was that urged me to go home.  “I’m just saying.” Jamie said gently.

“Well don’t.” I said slamming my iron down on the board.

“Oh so the good mood really is gone.” He muttered.

“Don’t you have homework to do or something?” I snapped as he lifted his feet to rest them on the coffee table.

“No.”

“Well if you’re going to hang around of course my good mood will be over.” Jamie smiled,

“So did Darius analyse why you were in such a good mood?” he asked. I snorted

“He analysed everything!”

“ouch.” He said placidly “but I thought he might he was quizzing me pretty well too.”

“And what did you say?”

“Just that you were fine, you missed Derek… despite what you say.” He snapped as he saw me open my mouth to snap a denial. “But that we expected that and you were actually doing pretty well. And the only thing today was that you were so happy, he seemed very interested in why you were in such a good mood though.”

“Oh.”

“I didn’t tell him.” He said softly.

“Didn’t tell him what?” Jamie smiled,

“That your clothes are coated in someone else’s scent.”

“I was sparring.” I gabbled, Jamie smiled

“You know Jess that sparring wouldn’t have ended up with you smelling quite that strongly.”

“What are you saying?” I threatened lifting my eyes to him folding my arms a clearly threatening gesture that should have made Jamie back down but it didn’t. He just shrugged,

“I’m just suggesting that your f*****g you kickboxing instructor.” He said plainly I gaped at him for a few seconds before snapping my eyes back to the ironing, and resumed ironing the creases in with a little more ferocity than was technically needed. “Its none of my business really I know I’m just here to keep safe. But it’s just your hurting Derek a lot more than you seem to realise I just ...it’s good your living without him but I don’t think he is doing so well. I just mean can you imagine what he’d think if he found you were f*****g some guy you don’t know on a gym floor.” I gave him a small glare but it didn’t have any real conviction as he was right. Jamie looked over at me a little sadly but didn’t talk again he turned back round and continued to watch the TV though I could see he was looking straight through it clearly just tying to ignore the tension in the room.

“I’m off to bed.” he said a moments later. I just nodded as he pushed himself up with a groan and slouched towards the hallway, pausing only to kiss the top of my head.

“Jay.” I said gently he looked back over his shoulder “I’m really glad you’re here.” He smiled

“Well I am your pet.” He said sweetly before striding out. I looked at the small pile of clean clothes still to be ironed and sighed switched the iron off , switching the ironing for another pint glass of vodka revelling in the light fuzzy numb feelings that swept into me as I rapidly made my way through my drink. Growing up with shape shifters meant that I had never been a big drinker. Shape shifters need to keep control of their emotions, as if we get pissed off we shift forms and that usually doesn’t end well so thankfully I didn’t have to drink much for it to have an effect. I curled up on the sofa yawning and trying to ignore the light tugging feelings inside of me.

           I opened my eyes and squinted in the dim light of what I soon realised was the basement of the den. I frowned as my eyes adjusted to the darkness and I spotted Derek was locked naked in the cage he sat on the edge of the bed his head hung over as he rubbed his forehead gently.

“When can I get out of here?” he asked softly keeping his eyes locked on the floor his dark hair curtaining his face.

“When Darius believes you won’t go running off again.” Pete said gently and I spotted him for the first time sitting outside the cage on the floor his gaze placidly looked on his eldest son.

“I didn’t go running off.” Pete smiled,

“Even Darius doesn’t believe that. You were going to find Jessica.” Derek didn’t move

“I’m worried something’s wrong.” Pete sighed heavily,

“So you two did have sex.” That produced a reaction from Derek even though he kept his head down he could be seen cringing. Pete seemed to take this as an agreement “we sort of thought you might have at some point but of course it’s only now that I know and of course I’m the only one who.”

“Pete will you please just stop talking.” Derek snarled rubbing his temples,

“Derek I am afraid that I’m only one who was mated with a natural.” Derek suddenly clutched his entire head as if he was in intense pain.

“You’re my father I do not want to hear that.” he groaned

“Well as you know your mother was our Roger's Aunt.” Pete continued as if he couldn’t hear his son’s feverent protests. “Of course I knew her practically my whole life but the pack was bigger then and so we ...well it was different from you and Jess anyway, I started shifting when I was fourteen. Faith was six years older than me. So there I was not even fifteen with a mate and being told how lucky I was.” Derek was still cringing and gripping his head as if he was truly desperate to be anywhere but here. “By the time I left school at sixteen your mother was already pregnant.” At this Derek lifted his head and turned his gaze to look at his father frowning, Pete nodded suddenly he was the one who was truly looking uncomfortable. “Yeah it was another ten years before we had you and then Carl .” he stopped biting his lip and Derek knew what his father was thinking right now about how his mother had died the day after his little brother was born, Pete didn’t talk about Faith. In fact this was most he had spoken of her to his son since her death. “I was at school with all these d***s I hated but when it came to leaving school they had plans I mean know most never came to being but I didn’t have any plans I had a wife and a baby on the way I had already become an enforcer it was done all of it. I loved your mother more than anything in this world but I suddenly I felt so scarred I was trapped here. I just wanted to know what else there was.” He smiled “I guess I’m like your Jessie in that way huh?”  Derek sighed,

“Pete honestly just leave it this really isn’t making me feel any better.”

“I know but look we had the bond it’s impossible to explain it but its there isn’t it.” Derek sighed again and hung his head. “I didn’t run away from your mother.” he hesitated “it probably would have been kinder if I did. I just started f*****g any woman who had a pulse and said yes.” Derek's head shot up and his eyes narrowed as they locked on his father,

“What?”

“I know your memories of you mother are sparse so she’s an angel and yep I was f*****g around. The worse thing is I was there I saw what it was doing to here. Jessie she, she doesn’t see this but me and your mother were mates I don’t know how it works but something connected us and every time I betrayed it hurt her, physically. She said it was like there was a fist inside her chest trying to tear something out.”

“So she’s f*****g around.” Derek whispered his eyes still locked on the ground.

“I don't know its just that’s what your mother said and I know that every time I betrayed her she got more hurt because she always tried to battle her way out of the den claiming that something was wrong and she needed to find me,” his voice had dropped and was low and husky “and that was how we lost our first baby. It was ten years before she even began to trust me enough again and then we had you and a wonderful life however short. I don’t know what’s going on with your Jessie but maybe this is just something she had to do right now. You can’t just out there and drag her home. She’ll make her choice in the end. He needing to be somewhere else just for now it doesn’t mean its over.”  

“Yeah.” Derek said softly tilting his head just a little to look at his dad through his rogue loose locks that as always flicked into his eyes. Pete pushed himself up with a groan.

“Look get some sleep.” He said “be good and Darius’ll let you out in the morning.” He nodded “and no more chasing girls. If it’s meant to be she’ll come back.”

“Thanks Dad.” Derek said gently as Pete nodded grimly and strode from the basement, tears pushed into his eyes from the re-emerging memories of faith. 

           I awoke from my dream with a start. Groggily I pushed myself up casting a look at the living room clock 2:43 am great. I lifted my hand to push the sweaty hair back from my face, my eyes widening as I saw the moisture on my fingertips, I was crying.

“No it’s just a dream, just a dream.” I told myself as I scrubbed frantically at my cheeks tying to force away the lingering  image of Derek’s lost hurt look and worse the alcohol seemed to have worn away meaning everything inside me was telling me to go home, to go back to him. I pushed myself up and again bushed away the persistent tears.

“jay.” I whispered as I eased open his bedroom door a slipped into his dark room.”Jamie.” he gave a little groan as he pushed himself up,

“Are you alright sweetheart?” he said his voice croaky, “it’s late.” I shook my head frantically biting my lip, Jamie suddenly was sitting bolt upright wide awake and ready to rush to my defence for some reason this made me cry harder maybe the vodka wasn’t as out of my system as I thought. “Jessie what’s wrong?” he rasped his voice urgent.

“I’m sorry.” I whimpered, everything in him instantly softened. “If your not really mad with me could I stay with you.”

“How could I be mad at you.” He said softly extending an arm.

“Because I was a b***h to you for no reason.” I said walking into his arm and perching on the end of his bed.

“That’s just who you are.” He said kissing the top of my head “and we all still love you.” He pulled his arm away and bushed the tears from my cheeks with his thumbs. “Come on.” He said “you know what a mega b***h you are if you don’t get enough sleep.” I smiled and pulled my jeans off before I slid under his Duvet sliding over into Jamie’s arms resting my head on his chest loving the sound of his heartbeat so close to me and for the first time since I’d come here I didn’t feel alone.

           I groaned as I woke up the remnants of vodka pounded away in the back of my head. After a few seconds I remembered where I was and noticed that Jamie was gone. I pushed myself up the room spinning around me as I wobbled into the kitchen blinking violently in the late September sunlight. I drank a cool glass of water but of course that didn’t do anything to help with the fur coating my tongue. I squinted at the blue note scrawled on the whiteboard in the kitchen (Jamie’s notes were in blue. Mine were written in red). It took a few seconds before the words took enough focus to allow me to read them. Typical Jamie it just said

Gone to class. Call me if you need anything. Jay

I smiled at the note as I rubbed it off the board our way of saying read and understood before I looked at the clock cringing 10:45 I had a class in half an hour, the last thing I wanted right now was to try and bully my brain into concentrating on something I really didn’t want to learn about. I groaned and slumped to the bathroom my eyes widening in pure horror as I saw my hung over face in the mirror.

“yuck.” I muttered “I have to do something about these hangovers.”

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