her sweet chains

Episode 12

I eased myself out of Derek’s arms just after dawn I’d woken up and instantly seemed to realise what I was doing which made me simply feel like a b***h. I sighed and walked down to the kitchen surprised to find the light already on as I entered.

“Morning little one.” Roger said cheerfully from beside the counter.

“What are you doing up?” Roger smiled,

“I have a thing called a Job little one and they expect me to go there everyday.”

“Smart ass.” I snapped leaning into the fridge to snag the orange juice.

“Where’s Derek anyway?” he asked eyeing my outfit significantly (I hadn’t dressed any further so was still wearing just One of Derek’s oversized t-shirt and a pair of boxer shorts) “the two of you disappeared pretty quickly last night.” I shot him an intense glare which seemed to merely amuse him as he smiled and held out a glass.

“I was tired.” I said simply,

“No doubt but all I’m pointing out is that you smell just like Derek.” He said with a smile finishing the final swig of his coffee before leaning over to lightly kiss my forehead, “so you should take a shower.” I giggled “see you later little one.” I smiled at him as he strode quickly from the kitchen he was far too happy for this time in the morning it was unnatural. I rubbed a hand though my hair the silence in the whole house seeming oppressive. I froze in horror as my action caused Derek’s scent which lingered in my hair to wash over me. I bit my lip as the words Derek had whispered into my hair as I hovered in the place near sleep. I shook my head tying to push these images away for some reason the nights I had spent wrapped up in Derek arms made me feel that I was deceiving him leading him on more than our intense fumbling sessions ever did. I knew that I didn’t feel for Derek the way he felt for me and in those moments I was simply overcome by a lust I couldn’t control hormones just seemed to over ride common sense, which I don’t believe I should feel guilty about the guys are always thinking with their downstairs brain ! but tasking him to my room sleeping in the same bed as him wrapping my arms around him, holding him while he slept that wasn’t an irrational act and it wasn’t something I did with everyone else I knew that, and so did Derek what was I doing to him? Claiming I didn’t want to lead him on yet Darius was right I was I just couldn’t seem to stop it. I growled at myself,

“Clarity.” I groaned “that’s what I need some clarity.” and easily the answer came to me I couldn’t deal with Derek so instead I needed something I could deal with. I smiled placidly as I walked though the silent house to my office. As soon as I opened the door I squealed feeling as if I was having a heart attack as my eyes took in what I was seeing. My files where spread across the floor over the desk. Papers scattered blue incident colour codes mixed with pink and orange time codes mixed with red and yellow.

“No, no, no no, no.” I muttered “Darius what the hell did you do.” I sighed and suddenly realised that this was a good thing what I needed was clarity the way I got clarity was by doing something simple something that involves procedure something systematic, hence sorting my office this was perfect. I sighed and walked into the office and settling myself down cross legged on the floor and began reorganizing my papers. “How could you not get the system its simple.” I grumbled under my breath as I twisted the next loose sheet of paper so I could clearly see all the three colour codes.

“Hey Beautiful.” I turned and smiled at Derek who was stood in the doorway a coffee cup in his hand. He retuned the smile but in a half hearted way he looked a little upset? 

“You’re up early.” I said rubbing a hand across my forehead. Derek honestly smiled, “what?”

“Honey it’s um 2pm.”

“Huh?” I said thickly he pointed at the clock which I squinted at “oh.” I said “I thought the batteries were going.” I said stupidly. Derek smiled and took a step forward holding the cup out which I took gratefully – Derek had the art of making my coffee.

“Is everything alright?” Derek asked leaning back against the doorframe watching me his expression unfathomable.

“Yeah.” I said glumly flinging aside the file I was holding and instead sipping my coffee. “Darius f****d up my filing I don’t see how my system is so complicated. Look.” I said holding up a loose sheet “this tells you everything you need to know first incident colour code top right corner. Now that colour code obvious influences what the second colour code the time coding means but if it you look at the sheet it explains what the colours mean so that’s top left and that influence the colour code on the bottom left obviously, but this again is…” I instantly shut up as I saw the look on Derek’s face. I folded my arms “it makes sense to me.” I snapped defensively. Derek beamed,

“I’m sure it does honey but were not all as methodical as you.” He said leaning over to kiss the top of my head. “Are you alright?” he asked slowly hesitantly. I frowned at him,

“Yeah I’m in my element.” I said gesturing smiling at my highlighter pens, Derek didn’t smile.

“You’ve been here a long time you always …seem to do this sort of thing when… when something’s wrong.” I frowned at him amazed at the hesitation in his words Derek never said anything that wasn’t perfectly considered he didn’t hesitate. He especially shouldn’t hesitate now he knew me as much as I wished that he didn’t he knew what he said was right.

“I'm fine… really.” I added softly when he raised his eyebrows looking unconvinced, “now go away so me and my methodical brain can get back to work.”

“Afraid I can’t Darius sent me to find you.” He said,

“Great I explain my system to him. Although I don't see why I should need to it’s so simple.” I said smiling as I drank the last of my coffee. I held the cup up to Derek who instead grabbed my wrist and pulled me off my feet as if I weighed nothing.

“Go see him.” Derek said setting me down taking the cup from my hands. "although maybe you should change first." I blushed as I realised that I was still just wearing Derek's T-shirt and boxer shorts . Derek smiled and gave me a gentle push out the door.

“Jay.” I said frowning as he opened the door to Darius’ study he smiled gently,

“Come on in Jess.” Darius said from behind his desk, I frowned completely confused now but I entered anyway.

“What the hell did you do in my office?” I snapped “it is a simple system consisting of three consecutive colour codes providing you look at the incident colour code first.”

“Jessica.” Darius said raising a single hand to cut of my ramblings before I got into my stride fully.

“Um.” Jamie said hovering on the balls of his feet clearly unsure whether he should stay or go.

“You can stay Jamie.” Darius said calmly “close the door please.” I sat down as Jamie gently closed the door and then took the seat next to me.  

“It’s simple really the colour in the top right.” I continued.

“Jessica.” He said again.

“I’m just saying.” He held up a hand but didn’t say anything. My words tailed off and Darius let the silence settle for a moment before he spoke.

“I've decided to let you go to school.” He said calmly, “the school you chose.” I gaped open mouthed at him for a few seconds before I turned to look significantly at Jamie. “There are conditions.” He said, “The most important one Jamie is going with you.”

“Huh?” I said intelligently, Darius and Jamie both smiled fondly

“Jamie has expressed a wish to be an enforcer you know that but I’m insistent that he finishes school first. So he’s going with you I’ve enrolled him in the nearby college so he can finish his GCSE’s but his main role will be to look after you.”

“You can’t expect Jamie to be away from the pack all year.” I wined looking at Jamie.

“It’s alright Jess really.” He said in a passive sort of voice

“I’ve discussed the matter with Jamie and he has agreed. The fact that you will have a bodyguard with you is non negotiable.”

“But Jamie you want to stay with the pack I know you do.” I said weakly he just shrugged,

“Its not forever and I’ll be looking after you. Maybe it’s my turn to save you.”

“Jay you don’t owe me anything.” I said he just smiled,

“You know I owe you everything. Besides its not forever and we'll be together and we can come back in holidays and stuff.”

“I’ve already arranged all that I can at the university, your officially registered, your first years tuition has been paid, and just this morning I have had a chat with the charming Mrs Walker, who will be your landlady I have found you and Jamie ridiculously expensive flat which is reasonably close to the university. I don’t want you living on Campus and I want you close to Jamie, so the two of you will be living together.”

“Just like the young ones.” Jamie said with a charming smile,

“You better learn to pick up your socks and I will not tolerate finding your dirty underwear on the bathroom floor.” I said pointing sternly at him, Jamie chuckled.

“You’ll have to come home for every vacation and for each monthly meet.” Dais continued I bit my lip knowing that wasn’t in my plans but Darius was agreeing to let me go and that amazed me I wasn’t going to start splitting hairs over the details. As for having to take Jamie with me yeah I felt bad for him but I was actually thrilled about it, the pack was all I had even known and to be honest I was terrified at the thought of leaving them all behind the thought of Jamie being there made it all so much better. I mean I knew I had to go I had to experience a life that didn’t involve my pack but let’s admit it I was terrified to who isn’t terrified to leave home to leave everything they have ever known. Darius carried on talking me through the multitude of restrictions he’d come up with for my safety of course, but I wasn’t listening anymore my brain was frantically trying to process this I was going to university in September. I was leaving home, the pack, and Derek two more months and I would be away from him, separated from my Derek for the first time. I’d never been separated from him for more than eleven days and that was before I started experiencing my shifts and since then I couldn’t seem to cope with being away from him, after about a day all I could think about was how much I bloody missed him, the git. But it had to be done I was going to leave him.

“And one last thing Jamie I don’t want you saying anything for a day or so to give Jessie some time.”

“Time for what?” I asked Darius smiled,

“Take a guess Jessica.” I shrugged and shook my head honestly lost, Darius sighed.

“Your going to have to talk to Derek.”

“Huh?” I squeaked,

“I think he’ll know in September when your not here and he deserves better than to hear it third hand during breakfast.”

“You could tell him it might be better coming from you.” I put in hopefully even though I knew it was hopeless, Darius glared intensely

“You have twenty four hours and then I will be speaking to you again.” he said firmly Jamie nodded and scurried out but I kept to my seat looking at my shoes I knew I’d been dismissed but it made no difference.

“Want to negotiate Jessica?” he asked “I thought you got everything you wanted do you want to change you mind.”

“What do I say to him?” I whispered to my shoes “how do I tell him that?”

“I don’t know.” he said gently,

“Yesterday…I… after the meet I …I was so confused and he was there…he…he’s always there. Every bloody memory I have that means anything I have has him in it.”

“Like the time you were suspended from school for breaking Charlotte Hewitt’s arm when she asked you for Derek’s phone number.” Darius said calmly.

“You knew about that.” I said my voice going shockingly high as the realisation settled on me, Darius just tilted his head a little as if to say of course. I smiled weakly,

“Yeah stuff like that.”

“well I don’t know sweetheart.” He said diplomatically “but if you can’t tell him that your leaving how do you think you will actually manage to leave him?”