Unapologetically Me

Chapter Nine

James

I watched her eat her sandwich quietly and wondered if she knew that I was just as selfish as Dexter. Only my selfishness was just seeing her. I tried not to dwell on it, but I knew that I needed to tell her the truth.

" I wouldn't thank me, Kelly. I haven't really done anything I didn't want to do, you know? Like...I wanted to see you, so I went to see you, even if it meant being at your dad's wake or his funeral."

She smiled and shrugged. "I know. But the point is that you subjected yourself to all of these boring events just to see me. It means a lot."

"It's just me being selfish."

"Well then I'm selfish too because I wanted you to be there even though I should have been concerned about the funeral stuff."

"Yeah that is pretty selfish. I should probably ask you to leave." I watched her face and she busted out laughing.

"Alright, smart a*s." She took a bite of her food and then set it to the side. She looked around my bedroom and stood up. She walked to my PC set up and then turned to walk towards my futon. She sat down momentarily and took her heels off, much like she had in my car the other day. She set them on the futon and stood back up, her toes squishing into my carpet.

She walked back over to me and stood in front of me. Her eyes were watery and I didn't know what to do. I moved my plate next to hers and reached up to her face and wiped a tear that escaped, off of her cheek. She leaned into my hand and took a deep breath.

She hiked her dress up slowly and straddled me, placing her hands on my shoulders. I took a deep breath. I knew what I should do. I should tell her that she was in mourning. I should tell her that she would regret this later. I should tell her that I'm a piece of sh*t and had been dreaming of something like this to happen, despite me telling her the other day that we shouldn't.

Instead of doing any of that I wrapped my hands around her tiny waist and looked up into her beautiful, tantalizing eyes.

I didn't want to make the first move. I didn't want to kiss her and feel like I was the blame for any of this if she decided later that she didn't want to do it.

"I know you said that we shouldn't do this, but I need to feel something else. Do you think you can do that for me?"

My breath caught and I nodded slowly. She leaned down, her lips brushing against mine, her soft breath lingering over me. "Yes." I whispered to her against her lips. She pressed her lips urgently against mine and I pulled her body tightly against mine, feeling the desperation in the both of us. God I had wanted this so badly. Ever since I had her the first time, I wanted to feel her soft body against mine. I wanted to kiss these soft lips and touch her soft skin.

Her tongue slid against mine and I cupped the back of her neck, bringing her as close as she could be to my body.

She moaned into my mouth as I nipped at her bottom lip and moved my mouth over the creamy skin of her neck. I felt her hips grind down against me and I grunted, my erection feeling too f*cking tight in my pants.

I kissed down to her cleavage peeking out above the top of her dress. I pulled down on the stretchy material, bringing down the sleeves until I had the material all bunched up on her stomach. I kissed the tops of her breasts , and groaned as she ground her hips against me again, biting her bottom lip, watching me. I pulled the black straps of her bra down until just the tips of her pink n*pples peeked out over the top. She moaned again and closed her eyes as I took one into my mouth, caressing the other.

Her chest was small but a mouthful was all I needed. Neither of us had heard my bedroom door open, so we were both shocked when we heard an 'oh s**t' and saw the back of my brother's head run back up the stairs.

"Who was that?" She covered her chest quickly, her cheeks flushed and he lips puffy from being kissed.

"My brother. Don't worry about it. I'll go lock the door." I set her down on my bed and ran quickly to my bedroom door. I locked it and came back to her laying in my bed, her bra pushed down to her stomach, her t**s on full display.

I smiled and climbed over her, pushing her thighs open to fit in between her legs. She was wearing plain cotton panties. I found it so hot that she wasn't matching. She wasn't planning on anyone seeing her in her underwear.

She smiled up at me and wrapped her hands around my neck and kissed me hotly. I moved my hands all over her tight little body. I wanted all of her. I wanted to taste all of her. Make her all mine.

I moved my hand beneath her panties and groaned at how wet she was for me. My fingers slid through her folds and she moved her hips in sync with my fingers. It was about the hottest thing I had ever witnessed. I literally could have j*zzed my pants just watching her get off on my hand.

I pulled her panties slowly down her legs, watching her face. Her face was pink and her bottom lips was in between her teeth, her eyes trained on me. It was only then that there was a loud knock on my bedroom door.

She scrambled up quickly and I was pissed. I shoved her panties into my pant pockets and walked to my bedroom door.

"Who is it?"

"Dude, it's me! Open the damn door!"

I groaned and glanced back downstairs. I could just barely make out the edge of my bed. I couldn't see her at all. All I wanted to do was go back to her. My d**k was uncomfortably huge in my pants and I couldn't let Michael see.

I sighed and thought of all of the most disgusting things I could think of as I opened the door. I hoped that he couldn't see my erection.

Michael furrowed his eyebrows at me as he passed me going down the stairs and stopped dead at the bottom. I wondered what he was seeing. Was it her lying in my bed half naked like earlier? Thinking of him seeing her like that made me see red. I rushed down the stairs and stopped next to him.

Kelly was laying under my comforter with her back turned to us. I glanced at Michael and he raised his eyebrows at me. "You taking in strays now?"

I elbowed him, still pissed that he pulled the c*ck block of the century. "Shut up. What's up?"

"Nothing dude, just wanted to hang. It's Friday night! What are we doing?"

"I don't know, man. I think I'm staying home tonight ."

"F*ck it! Video games and pizza it is!" He kicked his shoes off by the stairs and shook his head. "Jordan was acting f*cking weird. He kept trying to get me away from your door. He said you had a girl in here." He snorted and rolled his eyes. "The way he was making it sound was like you and Kelly were up to some naughty stuff."

"What did he say?" I felt nervous all of a sudden. I didn't want Kelly to stop talking to me because of my brother and Michael's dumb a*sess.

"Nothing. Just that you had a girl in here. Face was red and everything."

Michael pulled out my game controllers and handed one to me. I glanced over at Kelly and wondered how long she would pretend to be asleep before she decided to leave.

"Yeah, he walked in earlier and just saw Kelly. He must have thought something was going to happen, so he left."

"Yeah," he scoffed. He started up the game and I felt so f*cking frustrated I wanted to yell. So close. I had been so close. "So why is she here?"

"She didn't want to be around everyone at the reception."

"Yeah, but why here with you. She has Chloe. Why didn't she go to Chloe's house?"

"Chloe wasn't there. I was." I shrugged and pretended like I was getting my character ready on the game.

"And where were you after the wake? I waited for you for a couple of hours and you didn't show."

"Why are you interrogating me? Just ask what you really want to know?"

Michael's eyes narrowed and he took a deep breath. "What's going on with you and Kelly?"

I clenched my jaw and shrugged. "We're friends." Michael shook his head slowly and glared at the TV. I felt guilt in my chest as we played in silence.

"Okay, let me put it bluntly, have you kissed her?"

I swallowed hard and I kept my eyes on the screen. "Yeah."

"When?"

"Does it matter?"

"I don't know. When?"

"The night we picked her up. After you fell asleep." I glanced at him and his face was a brick wall. He was pissed and I sighed and got back to the game.

"Have you kissed her more than once?"

"Yes."

"After the wake?"

"No."

"Today, then?"

"Yes."

"I f*cking knew it. Is that all? Or is there more you haven't told me?"

I felt my face burn and I shook my head. I didn't know if Kelly was asleep or not. I didnt want him to know and be p*ssed at me. I groaned and ran a hand over my face.

"Dude...are you serious? There's more?" I could hear the pain in his voice and I knew right then that I was the sh*ttiest friend on Earth.

"It just happened, M. I don't even know how it started, but...I don't know."

"So you f*cked her. How many times?"

"Just once."

"That night? Or just now?"

"That night. Other stuff was happening before you knocked on the door."

Michael turned to me with his eyebrows raised and a small smirk on his face. "I knew it. Dude, you looked guilty as f*ck. So what stuff?"

I glanced back at Kelly and didn't know if she was listening or not. I didn't want to divulge but Michael and I had no secrets.

"Just making out a little."

He snorted and shook his head. "Yeah. That's not all."

My face felt hot and I wanted to just get out of this conversation as soon as possible.

"We just touched each other a little and that's it. Like...over the clothes sh*t."

"Bullsh*t but I'll let it slide since I know you're making it PG since shes here."

"Are you mad?"

"I was. But better you to get my brother's sloppy seconds than me." He shrugged and for the first time since I officially met Kelly, I felt at ease. The only think on my mind was whether this was the last time we would see each other or not. She said we were friends, but I felt like I was more like a security blanket for her since her dad died.

Did I mind being used? Not really, but I wasn't sure how she was going to feel about it later. And...I did have to admit, I was starting to get a little bit of feelings for her. At least jealousy.

We played a few rounds and I realized quickly that Kelly had in fact fallen asleep. My mom came later to check up on her and made sure to tell me that I needed to take her home soon because she couldn't hide from her family forever.

Michael was back to normal now that he knew and we started talking about a girl I had been interested in before Kelly kind of crash landed into my lap.

"So Lara is a non-issue now? Or are you still going after her?"

"I still like her. I'm not saying I'm not, but...I don't know. She's been hinting at going out together for Halloween. Has she mentioned anything to you?"

"Nope." He popped his 'p' and shook his head. "I'm thinking she wants some solo time. A little bit of that action you've been throwing around." He wiggled his eyebrows and I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah. Well we still have like three weeks until, so I'll make you my mind then. I just hope she doesn't want to do some matching costume sh*t."

"Is that too much of a commitment? You've been after Lara forever now. So what if she wants to match costumes?"

"I just don't find that appealing. What about Kacey?"

"Nah, she's getting clingy as hell. Can't get enough of this d*ck." He pointed obnoxiously at his crotch and I grimaced in disgust.

"What about Kelly?"

"What about her? She's yours, not mine."

"Well, not really. I mean don't get me wrong, I like her, but I don't think she's going to come back after today. I feel like I was a bit of a distraction for the funeral and now that it's done...you know." I shrugged and glanced back at her.

She was still asleep. I wondered how much sleep she was getting at home.

Michael shrugged and I sighed. I had changed earlier, but switched her panties into my shorts. It sounded bad, but I wanted to keep them as my souvenir of my Kelly Whitmore Era. Something to remember the hottest s*x of my life so far and the most beautiful girl I have been with to date.

I kind of hope it didn't end so soon, but I wasn't holding my breath.