shadows

the first beginning (2)

By five, Anton understood and accepted his fate. He had a room in the main house. He was reminded everyday by pretty much everyone that this was something he had to be thankful for. Didn’t matter that it was the smallest room in the furthest corner. And there was only an old bed, an old wardrobe that counted as furniture. And the smallest window with an unimpressive view of the backyard, comparatively. His clothes were hand-me-downs from his elder brothers, the twins, the true sons of the Greene family. And they fit Anton just fine, because he was so small. His mother was an immoral woman who seduced Evan, the servants of the house reminded him at every opportunity. And it was his fate to carry the sins of his mother. No one would even tell him her name. He certainly had no picture. Mother was just a vague idea.

He also learned to remain silent. No one wanted to hear him speak, he was told. No one cared about anything he might have to say. No one wanted to infect their ears with his voice. And so, he never spoke at home. If it could be called that.

He was sent to school. The same school as his brothers and sisters. They were his brothers and sisters, he was told. Even if he wasn’t a brother to them. He didn’t understand. But he remained silent. He was only a few months younger than his brothers. But he was one year below. They said it was because he wasn’t smart. His brain didn’t grow at the same speed. He was slow. And that reflected in his grades.

At school, everyone knew he was an illegitimate son. But that wasn’t the term that everyone preferred. He was the bastard son. And like any bastard child, he was hated by one and all. He was the perfect target for letting off steam and anger for all students, not just those from his class and his year. Because no one cared about him. His brothers even approved it. And the Greene family was noble enough for the approval of the heirs to mean something. School to Anton was a place different from home only in the sense that the other children at school were just as physical as they were verbal.

The day he turned fourteen was no different from any other day. Anton wasn’t sure anyone even remembered his birthday. He knew it from his school records. Until the day he saw his records, he didn’t even know when his birthday was. No one could be bothered to tell him.

He didn’t expect a party. He didn’t even expect anyone to wish him. He wasn’t like the others. His birthday wasn’t a big deal like it was for everyone else. He certainly wasn’t expecting a surprise.

He was wrong.

In the afternoon, when they had PE, and when the teacher left them to their own devices, his classmates dragged Anton to the back of the gymnasium. There was this little piece of land hidden away from all eyes. And there was a small tree at the back-end of this hidden piece of land.

“We’re celebrating your birthday,” the biggest bullies announced, as they tied his hand to the tree with his school belt. Then, they left briefly, returning with two small sacks. They set the sacks on the ground.

Inside the sacks were ripened tomatoes and balloons filled with who knew what. It was an invitation to all of the class. An invitation that was accepted by most of them. The rest stood back, still watching the show. And it was a show. Anton stood unmoving, like he couldn’t care. And accepted the tomatoes and the balloons that turned out to be filled with coloured and smelly water. He was a mess by the time the sacks were emptied. Drenched from head to toe. Stinking. And through it all, hadn’t made a sound. If everyone hadn’t heard him read in class, they would have thought he couldn’t speak. And that was infuriating.

The bullies had their orders. The Greene twins wanted the bastard to squeal like a pig that was gutted. The bullies were promised great rewards for making it happen. And they had themselves been in bad moods. The last week had been anything but good. Teachers scolded them. They were punished at home. And it had to do with their ganging up on Anton. Someone had complained. They didn’t know who. They were certain it wasn’t Anton. But in the absence of suspects, they didn’t hold back from throwing the blame on Anton. And today was the best opportunity to spit out all the stress and the anger. They were punished for beating him up. They might as well do it properly.

They went over. Threw punches and kicks until Anton went down. And then threw some more. When they were done, it was because they were too tired. And though they would never admit to it, they were terrified. When they saw the b****y Anton collapsed on the ground, they realised they had gone too far. And even though they pranced about like the biggest delinquents, they were only fourteen year olds. And they had never really seen blood like this. They untied Anton, who was unconscious by now. They wouldn’t meet eyes with their classmates, all of whom were even more terrified. Especially the ones at the back who were only spectating. All of them arrived on the same page, without exchanging a word. No one would speak of it. Hoping, praying, that by being silent they would escape what was to come.

When Anton came to, he was alone. His hands were free. And he was hurting all over. The air he breathed out had a red hue. And every part of him he could see was b****y. This didn’t even feel like school anymore. He was done.

He got up to his feet. Waited until he was steady, which took more than a couple of minutes. And then, began walking. He cut through the grounds. Out the gates. Security didn’t stop him. They were all much too surprised. And before they found their wits, he was gone. He didn’t care about what they thought, or did. He didn’t stop walking until he returned home. Not one person along way stepped over to ask any questions or offer help. Everyone just watched. Home was no different. The servants just stood watching as he walked into his room and shut the door behind him.

He didn’t step out of his room until more than a year later.