Unconditional

Journal Entry 1

"I may not be the prettiest, or the most enntertaining woman to hold your attention 24/7, hell I might not even be the most intellectual conversationalist that just makes you feel inspired after talking to me....but I'm a damn good woman! I have my Masters, I look like Foxy Brown when my hair is done, cook in the kitchen & bed, and was nominated "mother of the tooniverse" by my kids and that sounds pretty exclusive to me so I have no reason to....to....*sigh*....what am I doing?

Get it together Patricia.

He loves ME and I know that!

Just so difficult for me when he's surrounded by these beautiful models and I look like a half eaten Krispy Kreme doughnut. At least I taste incredible! Haha. I think it all started from my past, this whole feelings of insecurity at times, or feelings of not being good enough, after years of mental abuse from my father, and mental and sometimes physical abuse from Destiny's father...I sometimes feel so worthless.

But Daniel makes me feel like a Queen but sometimes these days arise and I know I annoy him to no end, then I become afraid that he'll leave me and I don't ever compare him, not once have I done that, because he's actually a good man and my best friend. I can do better for him and the kids but sometimes I hurt inside and I just want to hide cause at times I think I'll hurt him the way my father hurt my mother. But seeing the pain in her eyes , made me want to be a better woman and not ever hurt anyone the way she was hurt. I see that look in her eyes now, it kills me every single time. Right before Daniel, I really only knew Destiny's father and what he did too me....I know now, was not ever supposed to happen, not when you truly love someone. You fight for them, and you make much needed compromises, you have to be there for them sometimes physically cause they just need you to be, you pray for them and with them, you hurt them, you don't speak abusively towards them...how can you grow together when the love is not the focal point of the relationship...I just never understood that.

That man...that Daniel oh goodness. Sometimes I just watch him sleep...so peaceful, so handsome, sometimes it looks like he's thinking as he sleeps haha so amazing he is. I wonder when was the actual point that God said 'hey its time for them to meet ,' and had the angels make that happen?! I wonder if he still thinks my eyes twinkle, or if my smile is still as bright? *sigh* I have a King amongst peasants in him, a diamond that shines brighter than then rusty cubic zirconia...and I need to tell him that more. He's the best man ever. He's the ying to my yang. The answer to my questions. My inspiration...simply put, my everything. And I think its time I tell him all of this..." Patricia had wrote down in her journal.

But it wasn't Patricia who was writing, it was Daniel that was reading as Patricia sat there and let him read while they held each others hands tightly.

"You're th most beautiful, intelligent, best conversationalist, humorous woman ii have had the pleasure of encountering and had the honor of marrying," Daniel said as he kissed her hand, "And yes you are Mother of the Tooniverse! Haha! And baby, I'm not afraid that you'll hurt me, do you understand that? I'm sure as hell NOT going to hurt you like those idiots did to you! Do you undertand that! Patricia you're the woman for me and the only woman for me! I don't care about these triflin females, cause they are not and won't EVER be my wife, which is YOU!! I love YOU! Thank you too, for letting me into you minds eye and looking at what you go through. I truly love you Patricia. You and our kids are my world! I wouldn't ever trade that in! Ever!,"

Daniel saw the shocked, yet relieved face Patricia had made. But in that instance, they grew even close as best friends and as a couple. True love.

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