If you would DIE, would u DIE twice?

CHAPTER I If god would have given you a chance to choose how long would you live, would you say forever? People who wants to live dies, while people who wants to die, lives a long life. Life is unfair, when you finally accepted that you’re going to die, you found the only reason why you wanted to live. I’m just a teenage girl who’s been fighting this anxiety for over a year and it wasn’t going away, it’s just there eating my mental health. I’m tired and lonely that time and I am ready to give up my life and rest for the rest of my life not until I met you. Typical Monday morning, First day at school, though I’m already dead inside I am still going to school for additional memories I can sum up on my journal. I just hate First Day’s it’s so boring and cringe at the same time, introducing yourself, making new friends, etc. what a cliché. But this day wasn’t going as it used to be, I saw you walking down the aisle near the cafeteria with your messy hair and no expression face, I don’t know it wasn’t the typical me looking into someone’s eyes and stare them for a very long time, I don’t know but our eyes met as we both walk towards each other and it was like we we’re talking without saying a word. And I come to my senses when you passed behind me and says “what a nice day”, I just look at you with a big question at my face, “WHAT A NICE DAY?” what a jerk. Half day passes by and nothing good happened to me this day, no real friends to talk to and no girls I could hang out with, well I already accepted that fact that I’m not approachable. Finally its lunch break I don’t usually bring lunch so I always went home. It’s so hot and sunny outside but I don’t feel like riding the bus right now. Let’s just enjoy the view while walking, I saw a familiar face, I glaze at him for a second and keep on thinking where do I saw him, or do I met him? I finally came to my senses when i realized where do I saw him, he’s the guy I met this morning the messy hair looking guy. What is he doing at the gate? Waiting for someone? Or looking for someone? Nah I don’t care anyways. Sometimes reality can hit you very hard, you can’t live a life same as the person you’ve been looking up to. I’ve been living my whole life waiting to die, or let’s just say I already prepare a welcome party for my grim reaper? Today’s been a tough day, I just keep on looking outside our room window and gaze at those dazzling beautiful green leaves on our school garden, and the view here at the third floor is so mesmerizing you can see everything below. While I’ve been feeling the fresh air coming from our homeroom window I saw a familiar face sleeping at the bench on our school’s garden. What kind of fate is this? Why do I keep on seeing you? What’s with you? Who the hell are you? After staring at you for a long time I can say you’re quite handsome but a lazy student, well what kind of student are you? Sleeping at the garden while its lecture time? I cannot tell how long I’ve been staring at your face but I came to my senses when both of our eyes met and I can see your lips forming a smile, is it a smile or smirk? ……………… please follow for chapter 2