Blood Bound (mlm)

Chapter 2: Part 2

I'm ashamed to admit that I've been crying for almost three days. Not because I believe that 'males don't cry' bullshit but because I still have no idea why I'm so hurt. It feels like I'm dying. I've got no energy for anything except crying and shivering. Despite me being underneath all the blankets Yerik made available to me my second day here, I'm freezing. I don't have an appetite, I'm not thirsty either, but I can tell that I'm hungry and dehydrated. At least I can say that I can sleep, eventually, after crying for what feels like ages I knock out before knowing it. I haven't left 'my' room since I entered it three days ago, and what's worse, I haven't left bed since then either. Although I can't smell it for myself, I know I must reek but at least it isn't of s**t or piss considering the fact that I haven't used the bathroom at all. Besides my physical state being in the gutter, my mental and emotional states aren't so hot either, of course.

I haven't said a word out loud, not even to myself and Yerik hasn't tried to reach out either. If I'm not asleep or bawling my eyes out, all I can wonder is if my life is really that disposable that Yerik can stand to have me become a corpse in his guest bedroom. I know there isn't much of a relationship between us but surely...surely I matter to him somewhat? I mean, he didn't kill me when I first set foot on his territory. When I passed out and shifted , he carried me to his home, clothed then fed me when I woke up. He was genuinely hospitable and it just doesn't make sense that he changed so quickly. What did I do for him to not want me around? I've been wracking my mind over that question and can't even begin to answer it for myself. I want to get up and confront him, but I just don't have the energy, physical or otherwise. I just want to die to be honest. I don't think there is much worse than what I'm going through.

A knock on the door pulls me out of my head to the present moment. I look out the window, wanting but unable to answer verbally. The sun is setting and the little light that I had for the day is vanishing. "Luca?" Yerik calls softly, but again, I can't respond. "I'm going to come in, okay?" He informs before he attempts to open the locked door. As I hear him sigh and walk away, tears begin to well in my eyes. No, don't go...please. I want to scream but the words are stuck in my mind. As much as I don't want to see him, I need to. I want to beat the s**t out of him for making me feel like this but I need to have him show that he cares because it hurts worse than anything to know that he doesn't. A short moment later, I hear him approaching the door again. Now crying softly, I hear keys jingling and rattling as he unlocks the door. The creak of the door makes me shiver and I'm embarrassed that he's walking in to what must be a horrific stench and sight. I've never gone so long without taking care of my personal hygiene let alone wallowing in sadness and dead air.

He gasps, sounding horrified but I can't see to confirm as my back is turned to him. "Luca, I...are you alright?" He asks tenderly, stepping closer. "The silent treatment, really? I know I pissed you off but...oh." He says as he reaches for me and takes the covers off of me, stopping once he sees me completely. I wonder what I look like, curled up in the fetal position, trembling and crying softly. My usually loose brown coils must look like a rat's nest on my head, my brown skin must be impossibly pale, my lips cracked, cheeks caving in and my dark brown eyes devoid of all life. "I'm so sorry...I'm really so sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen, here let me..." He begins then stops, probably thinking his words won't help and springing into action. He rushes to open the window to let in fresh air before he returns to me and scoops me up into his arms. Little does he know, his words have already helped more than he could ever think.

The second the word 'sorry' left his lips, my heart felt a little bit lighter and my body a tad bit stronger. I revel in his warmth as he carries me to the bathroom. Once there he sits me down on the toilet then runs me a bath. Thankfully, I now have enough strength to keep myself upright as he runs off to get something else. He returns just as fast as he left, a towel and fresh clothes in hand. Without any words, he begins to undress me, unable to look me in the eyes. A part of me enjoys the shame he seems to feel because how dare he play with my feelings the way he did.

But another part of me feels sorry and wants to tell him that I forgive him. The reality is though, I don't even know what I would be forgiving him for. Realistically, he had and still has every right to turn around and want me out, he owes me nothing and it's not his fault I turned out to be so sensitive. Instead of thinking about that though, I focus on the moment at hand. I take the time to study each detail I can. The way his hands feel on my bare skin, the expression of determination on his face as he holds me up, how perfectly our bodies seem to go together. He's being so nice, why does it feel so natural?

"Tell me if the water is too hot okay?" He instructs as he helps me into the tub and I nod. The feeling of warm water after three days is unmatched and I moan in satisfaction. "Good?" He asks and I smile up at him, nodding just slightly as I relax into the water. "I'm going to make some food for you, you don't need any more help do you?" He offers and I shake my head, feeling good enough to continue on my own. It looks as though he wants to say something more but he holds his tongue instead and leaves.

After forty or so minutes, I'm fresh and clean. My teeth are brushed, my hair washed, my skin clean and my clothes fresh. I feel just a little more like myself but I still can't get any words out of my mouth. I have to get Yerik to burn these clothes. I think as I look at the outfit I had been dying in before he got to me. Another ten minutes later, I walk downstairs just in time with him dishing up some steak and vegetables for me. The smell is heavenly and the minute I register it, I truly feel just how starved I am. I take my plate and dig in, forgoing cutlery and completely ignoring the fact that the meat is not well-done. I can feel his eyes on me as I eat like the animal I am, thoroughly enjoying the juicy steak. He was right, medium-rare is so much better. I admit to myself remembering our conversation from the first day.

"I really am sorry. I didn't mean to put you in a state by telling you to go home. You can stay here for as long as you want to and I promise not to take that back." Yerik says, his eyes sincere. Instead of asking all the questions I had before, I opt to accept the apology. "It's alright, I honestly didn't know I was so sensitive...I don't really know what that was about. But I'll hold you to that promise." I respond with a smile, happy to finally be able to get words out of my mouth even though my voice is very scratchy. He smiles softly but I can see he wants to say something more. "So how's the steak?" He asks and I get the feeling he was going to say or ask something completely different.

"It's really good, can't you tell by how I'm eating?" I reply with a short chuckle. "I just thought you were famished." He chuckles as well, his smile brightening his face. After eating we decide to relax on the couch, reading silently as the dark of night begins. We don't get to read for long though, as I hear the sound of at least five wolves approaching the cabin. I put my book down to look at Yerik only to find his head his turned to look out the window, already alert. Without a word, he gets up and shifts immediately, tearing his clothes apart. It's as though he couldn't help but shift, which tells me that his territory line has definitely been crossed by unknown wolves.

Mirroring his swiftness, I rush to the door and open it for him then run out to the porch behind him. We both look out to the darkness and after a minute of listening but hearing nothing, he barks into the night. In response, five wolves emerge from the dense forest and their scent hits me. It's my pack scent, lavender. "Wait." I tell them before they even start to growl at each other. "Luca! You weren't answering my call to you, are you okay? What did he do to you?" Anne, leading four warriors, asks. "Nothing! He didn't do anything to me. I'm fine, see? I was just a little sick the past few days but I'm good now I promise." I answer out loud.

"That's good, it's safe to come home now. He can't keep you here anymore." She responds, stepping closer with the four warriors which puts Yerik on the defensive. He growls deeply, the same sound he first made when he found me on his territory. I step in front of him to try calm things, hoping that if he doesn't have sight of my packmates he'll be able to fight the instinct to attack. I know that he can handle his own but I still find myself worrying for his safety. "No, he's not keeping me here. I want to be here. I'm not coming home, not yet." I say but I can see I'm not convincing her. "Staying is not an option. Your parents aren't going to send another letter. The next time we're here we'll have orders to burn this place down and kill the Lone Rogue." She threatens and they all take another step forward.

I wince at the comment and before I can respond, Yerik barks and snarls from behind me. He pushes me to the side and bares his teeth at the group, making them take defensive positions. I can't do anything but watch as he locks eyes with Anne, postures himself to appear even bigger than he already is. The warriors growl in response, attempting to stand their ground but they don't hold it for long. Before I even register it, they're all actively taking submissive positions and I don't understand it for a moment.

Like a switch being flipped, everything clicks in my head. Why he's able to best all wolves that set foot on his territory, why he tried to get me to submit that day, why Anne specifically called him a 'lone' rogue, why all of them are submitting right now: he really is an Alpha. He barks again and without so much as another glance at either of us, Anne and the others flee the way they came. I look at him in disbelief. He heaves then looks back at me and another thing clicks. He made them submit but he couldn't make me...we're...we're mated. I register silently and once I do, an anger I've never felt before builds inside of me.

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