Meet Me In Autumn

3: Sharon

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| Year 2018.... |

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“You seem too startled, aren't you Kat?” the girl beside her giggled teasingly, brushing off the thought of seeing a shiny liquid about to fall off from both of Katarina's eyes earlier. She knew those were tears, but whatever the reason behind those, she set it aside as well as the obscene thoughts of throwing a little interrogation that might drive Katarina further drained when done.

Why would she mind and ask, yeah? Maybe Katarina wouldn't spare a single answer to not get caught off-guard and end up explaining, so the other girl would understand, or maybe Kat doesn't want to talk about it at the moment, or maybe she would just divert the topic to a safer one, another thing that would be more comfortable for them both. She considered every reason, and just stayed quiet, pretending she wasn't aware of Katarina's initial state.

She is a mere stranger, they were both strangers to each other. They don't have any bit of right to demand for a profound explanation on something the other doesn't want to speak about, and silence would be a better comfort. Besides, if they want to speak and share what's going on with their private lives, it goes without asking and forcing, they would just straightly talk about it and hope for a great understanding from both party with some little advices. In this case, though, Katarina seems to have decided to keep it for herself, to stay shut and find a resolve alone. The girl can sense it, and so she respects Katarina's privacy.

“Hey…” she mumbled again, keeping her wide grin as if she wasn't thinking too deep just now. She took a hold on Katarina's arm, shaking it, and trying to cheer the latter up using a sweet, gummy smile for she can't find any word to lift the mood, and she would rather just smile.

When Katarina didn't budge, she played yet another laugh in her bewildered face, the sound of her soft giggles lingered through Katarina's ears like beautiful music, a soulful melody she has always wanted to hear and would never get tired of hearing and playing inside her head again and again even after months or for as long as some couple of years.

“Sharon…” she mumbled, the presence of the girl beside her finally started to sink in. Her dazed state continued, but this time, Sharon's presence was the one to mess with her. Sharon's voice always heal the invisible wounds inside and out of her, her soothing words which come out like a whisper whenever she speaks using a soft voice will always be Katarina's own definition of an angel's voice singing her to sleep. Sharon's smile looks the same as she remembers, she still possesses the same sweet smile that never fails to make Katarina's world halt to stare awed by the most beautiful wonder of Earth one could ever witness.

The familiar warmth of Sharon's presence will always be Katarina's comfort zone and place of relaxation to calm herself, her mind, heart, and soul. Sharon's hands touching hers will always be her safest refuge, a designed shelter for her to recharge and rest.

With her face still shocked — as if what she's seeing is very impossible and unreal, she stared at Sharon with her jaw hung open, and if it can actually drop up to the ground, there's no way it wouldn't be down there, hitting the road hard.

A whole minute later, she felt a light pat on her left cheek, and she woke up from daydreaming, clearing her throat aggressively before looking away, “you… could have just called me first or said something before approaching, Sha. I was shocked, what if it's a pervert or a snatcher, huh?” she said softly, pouting her lips and shoving Sharon's sneaky hand away from her pocket.

She crossed her arms above her chest and turned her back to the other girl, pretending to be mad, but when Sharon ran around to catch her up and face her, she found her plan to act angry failing miserably because she let out a childish giggle as soon as she saw Sharon's puppy eyes.

“Sorry, sorry, okay?” Sharon apologized, brushing off the cringe worthy sad expression from her face before laughing together with Kat. She put a hand inside the latter's pocket once again, and they started walking together.

They are used to this. Sharon finds comfort every time she holds and caresses Katarina's hand while they walk side by side, when they were completely oblivious and lost from the world around them, from the whole place, as they were too occupied by each other's completing presence. And Katarina feels the same way.

“You look so pretty, Kat… why am I always surprised,” Sharon mumbled shyly with her attention focused on the other girl, darting her eyes down on the latter's face to observe her perfectly sculpted side profile, not really minding if she was already staring too much while admiring Katarina's whole being specially her gorgeous features that becomes sharper each passing year.

She remembers Kat being one complete cutie, and it seems like yesterday, with her big brown orbs, long and flicking eyelashes when she blinks, her pouty, plump and kissable lips, sharp edged nose, and her face looking as soft as a kid's. Back then, she never really expected the girl to look a lot better when her features mature because she looked like a doll with an already perfect face… and seeing her being more beautiful now with a more detailed final form feels like a fever dream to Sharon.

Every autumn in the past years, Katarina appeared to look better and better, but she is sure as hell the best looking on Sharon's eyes, the most gorgeous of them all without a magic mirror's confirmation, and even she is close to being afraid that she might look like a potato next to a person as dazzling and attractive as Katarina — not fully aware that the latter thinks the same about her, that Kat also thinks she looks ugly next to Sharon, that Kat also thinks that Sharon was the most beautiful person she ever met.

With a comforting and warm silence, they didn't stop walking and looking around the place. No, they weren't afraid to speak, they just do not want to break the comfortable silence they had in between, they want to let the low murmurs from afar, the sounds of car horns with shouting noises, and the soothing whisper of the wind with the natural sounds and crickets singing fill in the silence.

That was comfortable, being together alone brings them absolute comfort. That was their place, their very own place, their safe haven… and without admitting, they would surely risk everything just so they can have that moment repeating forever.

“Am I… supposed to say thanks, or you're waiting for me to compliment you back??”

“You're welcome,” Sharon said with a frown. When then proceeded to raise and hold her free hand up, so she could have a better feel of the air hitting her body and running chills down her spine. Her lips automatically flashed a pretty smile as she examines the whole place for the nth time that day, all the people, noises, and heels stomping the floor, soft voices and exchanges of conversation, all the incoherent noises that brought fulfillment of a once silent life.

“Thanks, then,” Katarina said nonchalantly. She stole a glance at the girl beside her and saw how she was also smiling so wide, then brought her focus back on the street, letting out a little chuckle that unknowingly sent raging butterflies in the pit of Sharon's stomach just by hearing her the subtle sound.

The girl's face became a blushing mess, and she was unable to snatch her other hand from Katarina's pocket, so she could use it in hiding her rosy cheeks, especially when the latter who is seemingly so oblivious of the effects she was causing the poor girl pulled Sharon even closer so their bodies pressed push, flush. Their skins will probably be pressing together, feeling how warm the sudden action affects Sharon's innocent blood circulation, if and only if they happened not to wear anything that covers their arms. Sharon could only thank all the heavens and the temperature they destined the place to be earlier that day, for it made her wear something that doesn't reveal much of her skin, or they will surely be feeling how hot their bodies actually are due to the proximity and instantaneous action.

Katarina gulped when she felt Sharon so close, too close. Trying to get themselves out of the awkwardness, she brought their hands out of her pocket once more, holding on to Sharon's hand tight, her teeth gritting when the wind hit her exposed skin. Cold.

“Kat, it's cold you know,” Sharon snorted, wincing just how Katarina did at the sudden coldness that surrounded their connected hands. But instead of putting it inside the latter's pocket again, Sharon just held on Katarina's hand as tight as she was grabbing hers. The feeling of Katarina's heat and warmth against her skin and pressing against her own palm was everything. And she almost squealed when the Katarina's thumb started caressing the back of her palm in the softest way possible, as if she's something made of porcelain that may soon break when handled carelessly.

All that while Katarina keeps on marvelling her eyes around, trying to hide an idiotic smile in her face — a smile that did not go unnoticed by the other girl.

Katarina then swung their intertwined hands together, forward then backwards, making the other girl giggle at their silliness, “Kat, it'll be warmer inside your pocket, although it's thin. Put it back…”

“And so what? They are looking at us, so I want to brag that I am very lucky to be with a great person like you, Sha. I want to show everyone how fortunate I am in life because I'm the only one who can hold your hand.” Katarina let out a possessive answer as she looks down at their grip. She then wrapped their hands tighter until their knuckles turn white and their hands turn bluish and cold because of the lack in blood circulating in their palms – if that was actually possible.

Kat smirked, her expression bragging like she just got the one in a million chance to win in a billion dollar lottery – when in fact, she was simply just holding Sharon's hand, and she was able to touch and lowkey claim those hands as hers. She was all doing fine, feeling the moment of fortune within her grip, but her day wasn't lucky enough as her almost winning streak soon came crashing down – her grin immediately transforming into a sad pout when she only heard Sharon only laugh at her silliness and found her words ridiculous instead of sweet, endearing, and heartwarming in a sense.

Sugary words was never Kat's forte, and she was never a sweet talker, for she always keeps her feelings on her own and never let's it loud out of shyness and sudden self embarrassments. She doesn't watch too many dramas too to end up like a leading character whose words and lines were made to scar in viewers' minds as they watch.

And Sharon wasn't that type, too.

“They can hold my other hand then?” Sharon playfully asked to furtherly piss the young girl, even holding up her other hand and pretending to hold something in the air.

The act was childish, but Katarina is even more childish to bite the trap and burst out just because of that. “To hell with that?! Of course not! I'm the only one who can hold both of your hands.” she rolled her eyes while pulling Sharon's other hand down to make it land flat above her thighs, hating the initial fact that it was floating midair while Sharon imagines holding someone else's hand right in front of Katarina's salad. The little gesture made Sharon giggle again, and she couldn't help but pinch Kat's cheek, so she does just that.

“As if…” Sharon mumbled, almost a whisper, before she looked down like she found something interesting in the ground, only to hide a sad frown. But it didn't take too long after she let out another light and soft chuckle, forcing herself to smile in a millisecond and never mind Katarina's statement for it'll only bring her to further hesitations, queries, resentments, and much more realistic and painful ideas that can ruin not just hers, but both their days.

Katarina is possessive.

For someone who's more than a stranger but less than a very trusted individual, someone in between the titles and labels they don't even know how it works and if it would change anything in their current relationship, Kat is possessive.

Sharon loves how much of a claimer she is, sure, and she longs for when Katarina becomes like that – becomes possessive. Whenever Kat would say how lucky she is for having her by the side, she feels like someone at least wants her as her and only her, that someone wants her for themselves only and without sharing. Whenever she hears the possessiveness in the girl's tone, she feels like at least she has someone who wants to keep her and put up with all her antics… and the fact that it is Katarina and not anybody else makes it more special, it makes her want to collapse in happiness but break down at the same time.

Sharon wants to say yes, she is dying to tell her yes. She wants to reply and assure the girl that she will be the only one who can hold both of her hands, that she is Katarina's, but can't. She knows.

Maybe Kat would want to keep her and hold her — there is a big possibility considering her actions and the way she makes her feel and the looks on her eyes and face, — but Sharon knows she will be the one to not do that, either, on Katarina's hand forever even if she tries her best. She knows that she won't be the one to stay with Katarina during every summer, autumn, winter, and spring, or any coming seasons because she simply has to leave some time soon.

Still holding on to each other, they didn't stop walking ever so slowly, maximizing their time and savoring the moment. The sun is near to going down and settling beneath the horizon, the day is near to being called over after the sun does its role of providing light for that particular side of the Earth, ready to move on to the latter side and announce that morning is coming. Ready to move on to another day of suffering after leaving with no choice of staying because that is how it has and should be, and no one can ever change the undying cycle of life and everything associated with life, the sun leaves with a beautiful memory — the sunset.

The air slowly gets colder, the soft wind's breeze gently caresses Katarina and Sharon exposed skins, giving them chills down the spine for the mean time, and adding to the relaxing feeling they are already in just by being able to be together and walk with each other side by side.

“I like this part…”

“Which part?”

“You, holding my hand, while we walk down this street. I like this the most in the world,” Sharon mumbled once more, while fiddling on Katarina's fingers, entangling their lengths in a tight intertwine.

“Say, Sharon… should I hold your hand forever?”

“If you can, then, yes please?”

"Now, that's cheesy."