Lost between Two

It starts

3 April 1970

I have just arrived to Hollywood, i got installed in a big house that Fred rent for me .

It's not as big as the castle i used to live in but it's more modern and cosy , it has a patio and a view on the city  . I love it here at night when the city lights turn on , it looks like a festival outside .

I am doing good getting along with my new lifestyle. 

5 April 1970

7:36 Am 

As close as the meeting gets as much as I realize what I put myself into when Fred offered me the contract I didn't pay attention to the one condition that will determine if the music label deal is to be expanded or ended. The condition was to pass a test in front of a jury . Fred says that it's just formalities and there's nothing to be scared about but I have a feeling it's much more, he said if I could show them my excitement and joy they will sign me right in well let's hope the best and stay motivated.

Anyway, today is the day which going to draw my future if I fail then I'd better start packing my clothes and start practicing the miserable speech for my family to let me in again.

22:58 Pm

I worn a red mini dress and white sneakers to the meeting, Nina wasn't allowed to come with me, I had to go with Fred who came early to pick me up from the. house holding some papers in the hand that later turned out to be a well-written script just for me. 

Once in the car, Fred and I sat in the back seat so close to each other while the driver was driving slowly down the road . I could smell his cologne and once again my eyes caught his for a moment I thought at least I can have a taste of those red lips , I got closer closed my eyes and leaned down close to his mouth but he was too fast to stop me by saying >  He stopped for a second then continued: > 

His words threw me to a world full of shame and my cheecks got red as hell , he propably noticed my sudden change of mood so he added >

After this, I smiled back at him and pretended that nothing happened.

Once at the record label we waited around fifteen minutes in the waiting room before being ordred inside .

there were six men sitting they looked old and powerful they barely smile I can't deny that I was scared at first but as soon as Fred started telling them about how much my voice is magical and angelic I felt confident and the fear disappeared from my system.

They asked me some personal questions like my age and if I was in a relationship and then asked me about what makes me a good candidate and finally, they asked me to sing a song. In a few hours, I passed the test and the deal was closed; I can't deny that without Fred I couldn't get the deal .

I still can't believe that I succeeded in the test amazingly and I got a contract with the number one record company in the world " remember the sound " , I can't wait to start working in the studio with my team. 

I am on my age of glory and no one can stop me .

4 April 1970

Fred came early morning to the house to inform me of the music label annual party he said it was a good opportunity for me to meet new people in the music industry as for me to get to know my new team including sound engineers producers and other staff. 

I was confused about what dress I should be wearing for the night but for my surprise Fred brought an actual stylist to the house his name was Brent , he looked like a man but dressed like a woman he had makeup on his face and long fake nails he looked gorgeous though, at first I was confused by his look then I thought maybe he was a transgender. It is not very common to see transgenders in England but we were taught at school that they do exist everywhere in the world and that we should respect them. 

Personally I think it is very cool to be able to speak what you feel inside and not be afraid to show your true self to the world so yes I totally respect transgenders.

As the day went by me and Brent made a close relationship as we had quit the same taste of cloths , fabric and jewels, together we could come out with the greatest combination for the night. 

Brent helped choosing my makeup look too, she gave strict commands to the makeup artist . 

I spent nearly twelve hours getting ready for the party but at the end of the day I was mesmerized by the look at myself, I looked completely different in a good way as I looked ten years older than my actual age .

I had a  golden dress full of gemstones and black pearl earrings , my makeup was peachy and not so heavy it was good enough for a music industry party to sum up I was so satisfied by Brent's work; he was a great stylist.

I still remember Fred's face when he saw me at the party entrance he was like "wooow Sarah you look...gorgeous " I replied saying "unfortunately for you I am just a child" I pushed him aside as I stepped straight inside the ballroom; Fred was left speechless with a rising smile on the side of his mouth I actually find it funny teasing him this way. As soon as I left his side Fred followed me , we entered the room where people from different ethnicities were chatting and laughing. Fred slid his hand to my waist and held me close to him and once again the electricity feeling spread through my whole tiny body, he whispered in my ear: " people here can be a real pain in the ass they might ask you awkward question or throw weird jokes so please whatever they say or do try to stay calm and keep your precious smile on and know I am here with you to protect you" as these words left his mouth my body automatically jumped to hold him tight. 

"thank you Fred you are a great guy" I said while letting go of him at once he simply replied with a pure smile.  

6 April 1970

Carl came today to New-York In order to bring back Nina with him.

> he said while he was smoking a cheap cigarette; rapidly Nina replied:

>

He took a step ahead , stopped for a second , lowered his head , stared at the floor , after he kept going ahead in Nina's direction ; once he arrived near her , it was like if a demon possessed him , he took my poor sister with both hands and started shaking her like a bottle of whiskey , after he threw her like a piece of filth on the floor , lowered down to her and screamed :

>

She replied with a crying voice : >

>

>

He took some seconds thinking and after he replied :

>

>

They forgot to close the room's door I could see and hear everything that went between the two; In order to protect my sister from his anger I told her to invite him to stay with us and pretended that it was a personal decision. 

I don't know how she could have married a man like him, so egoistic and sick . I really hate Carl .

7 April 1970

I had a hard day , It was my first day at the studio and I already recorded a demo of my first song called         " sing to forget " , but Nina and Fred ... ough .

Everything started with Nina when she said :

>

> Fred replied ignoring Nina's existance 

> She said with a nervous tone 

> I said while playfully ignoring the both 

> She yelled at Fred putting all the blame on him and forgetting that I have my own personality but this is Nina and this is what i sgned for but still I love her she's always looking for the best for me anyway here's how Fred replied to her accusation :

>

>

After this reply directly she ran to Fred with the watermelon juice and spill it all over him. Fred didn't stay hands crossed watching Nina's madness, he poured his coffee on her too and if it wasn't for the studio's team I could swear they were going pass the point of spilling some drinks on one another.

How I can survive with two stupid people like these ones ; I don't know, but they were so ridiculous that I could not stop laughing at their gestures .

The essential is that I recorded my song with success and it will be published next week.

15 April 1970

I am like in a dream, I feel in high spirits, my dreams one by one are about to realize in the real life.

My song got number one in all the united state , we can't open a radio without hearing " SING TO FORGET " , due to this success I was invited to a radio emission and I feel super excited about this invitation . Fred asked me to select a stage name and my choice was "BROWN SUGAR ",my grandma used to call me like this because my skin colour is brown .

17 April 1970

I went to the interview where I met a hot host named Claus, he asked me a lot of questions about my success and my life .

>

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He smiled softly and responded:

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After a bunch of questions, he asked me something confidential and which I was sure wasn't mentioned on the questions paper.

>

He surprised me with this question so I started laughing as a freak , still I can remember Fred's face , he got nervous and made strange gestures with his hands to stop my freakiness ,but he just made me laugh more and more. The radio's team was obligated to stop the emission pretending that a technical issue occured , they gave me water and a tranquilizer , after a while I got back my senses of right and wrong .

>

Claus replied with his attractive voice :

>

After this , we continued the interview normally , but he neglected the question about my celibacy.

We sum up the meeting successfully and while I was in my way to the car I heard someone calling my name, it was Claus the hot host.

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We went to the "hole restaurant ", where we spent a great night. We got dinner together after we continued our little party in a nightclub near my house.

Meanwhile he did not hid how much he's Into me .

At the end of the night we exchanged an interesting discuss .

>

>

When I said that , he started watching me oddly .

>

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we somehow exchanged a kiss, that was my first time .All what I can say about Claus is he is amazing. So love, love, love till next time dear secret book .

18 april 1970

Today was tiring as yet exciting for the first time in my life i get the meaning of living on cloud nine 

I spent the whole day thinking about Claus and the night we shared together all the scenes and the words that we exchanged during our date kept playing in my hand like a movie in reply and I couldn't managed to stop it . Fred noticed that something weird about me today because i couldn't concentrate on making music and I was so caught in my lucid dreams so he ordered the rest of the team to take a thirty minutes break , once everyone is out he sat next to me and asked me if everything is fine 

I hurried saying: >

>

I couldn't keep lying so i said the truth >

> I could see the chock and the disappointment in his eyes but why he said he can't be a thing what changed now why is he looking jealous all of a sudden 

>

>

I stared at him for a second then said one last sentence before leaving him shocked and soacked in regret 

>

19 April 1970

I got an invitation to assist at the academy awards , I feel super exciting about the invitation and Nina too .

Fred called a stylist to help us choose the best dresses .

28 May 1970

Today's the day of the gala.

I just realized what happened with me those last months , I become a star , I can't believe that , . My teeth tremble, I can't feel my feet , every second that passes the feeling of pissing increases . I don't know how Nina can be so calm , all what interests her is jewels , makeup , dresses . We can see the jealous Carl watching us from far and hoping to come with us but for sure he can not except in his dreams.

Someone knocks the door, it must be Claus, he will bring me to the party ,tonight we will announce our relationship officially . I know that we are going a little bit fast in our story but I think that Claus is different and so cool , I want him to be mine forever .